


SkateSquad™ groupchat

by stxmph



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Kinda, Multi, Trans Character, group chat shenanigans, ill add more characters/relationships as they happen, nothing too serious this is just for fun, phichit is a meme, phichit thinks everyone ever is cute, rated teen only bc swearing lol, tbh like most of them r trans men lol, they all live in japan in this lol for the sake of easier writing, yuuri is the mum of the group
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2018-09-03 01:34:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 57,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8691349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stxmph/pseuds/stxmph
Summary: pikachit  added  katsukidon, vitya, RussianTiger, Leo♫, and  (gay)uanghong   to the chat.
 
 pikachit  renamed the conversation “ SkateSquad™ ”(groupchat log of the skate squad)





	1. the beginning

**Author's Note:**

> for the sake of this story they all live in japan and train at ice castle fhsgsf 
> 
> also heres a list of everyones screen names (so far) although theyre p obvious: 
> 
> Phichit: pikachit  
> Yuuri: katsukidon  
> Victor: vitya  
> Yuri: RussianTiger  
> Leo: Leo♫  
> Guang-hong: (gay)uanghong

 

  
  


**pikachit** added  **katsukidon** , **vitya** , **RussianTiger** , **Leo♫** , and  **(gay)uanghong** to the chat.

 

**pikachit** renamed the conversation  **“SkateSquad™”**

 

pikachit: ok so

pikachit: i have an idea

katsukidon: no

pikachit: u havent even heard it yet

katsukidon: i know the answer will be no

pikachit: hear me out 

katsukidon: fine

Leo **♫** : whats this

pikachit: so

pikachit: for the next skating season

pikachit: we all perform a new free skate 

pikachit: and we all dab in it

katsukidon: no

Leo **♫:** YES

pikachit: like either at any point in it or i was thinking we cld all have our ending positions be dabs

katsukidon: we cant all end with a dab

Leo **♫** : can i dab whilst spinning

pikachit: omg do it

katsukidon: do not dab in a competition

Leo **♫** : are there any rules against dabbing in figure skating??

katsukidon: ??i dont think so????

Leo **♫** : then whats the problem?????????????

RussianTiger: i hate you all

pikachit: <3

Leo **♫** : <3

katsukidon: is that the only reason you made a group chat

katsukidon: to say about dabbing

pikachit: ..

pikachit: …….

pikachit: NO

Leo **♫:** fshdfdhf

pikachit: i thought itd be a good idea to have everyone in one place

katsukidon: this is probably the worst idea youve ever had except for dabbing on ice

(gay)uanghong: lol rip

Leo **♫** : GUANG HONG WHERE R U

(gay)uanghong: in my bed why

Leo **♫** : god fuckginf

katsukidon: umm language there are children present

Leo **♫** : u were suPPISED TO COME OVER AN HOUR AGO 

(gay)uanghong: sHIT

(gay)uanghong: IM OMW FSGDGSF 

(gay)uanghong: IM SORYRYR

pikachit: ;)))))) whys he comin over ;)))))

Leo **♫** : we r gonna marathon all the high school musical films

pikachit: wtf why wasnt i invited

Leo **♫** : guang hong has never seen them before

pikachit: WHAT

katsukidon: WHAT

RussianTiger: WHAT

Leo **♫** : RIGHT THATS WHAT I SAID

Leo **♫** : SO IM MAKING HIM WATCH THEM ALL

pikachit: omg yuri i cant believe ur a high school musical fan

pikachit: were u even alive when they came out arent u like 12

RussianTiger: IM 15

RussianTiger: im not a fan

RussianTiger: but everyone and their grandma has seen high school musical

pikachit: tru

(gay)uanghong: SHLD I BRING SNACKS

Leo **♫** : nah its good i got i made us some popcorn and i got some doritos too

Leo **♫** : do u want me to make u hot chocolate?

(gay)uanghong: pls <333 

Leo **♫** : aight :)

RussianTiger: ew

pikachit: thats gay

Leo **♫** : ur gay fuck u

vitya: you know what else is gay?

vitya: me

katsukidon: ik

pikachit: wow look who showed up

vitya: hello yes it is i 

vitya: wait

vitya: he hasnt seen hsm?

vitya: guang hong how can you have ‘(gay)’ in your screen name if you havent seen such a gay timeless classic such as high school musical

(gay)uanghong: IM SORRY 

vitya: also yes to the dabbing

pikachit: heLL YEA

katsukidon: victor no

vitya: im your coach and youll do as i say 

vitya: and if i choreograph a dab for you then you better dab 

pikachit: ofmdfmg

katsukidon: im quittign

RussianTiger: if youre quitting then can victor coach me full time

katsukidon: nvm ill dab

pikachit: FSJDGSH

RussianTiger: i hope u die

katsukidon: tbh same

katsukidon: wait

katsukidon: sry i forgot not everyone experiences existential despair and lack of motivation towards living

pikachit: ..

pikachit: do u want a hug

katsukidon: no omghdgfg im alright

RussianTiger: hes fine 

RussianTiger: hes a melodramatic piece of shit

katsukidon: umm language ur like 12

 

**_RussianTiger_ ** _ has left the conversation. _

 

katsukidon:FSDHDJSG 

pikachit: how dare he leave

 

**_pikachit_ ** _ added  _ **_RussianTiger_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

RussianTiger: let me go

pikachit: no

pikachit: ur here forever

vitya: yurio why do you hate us :(

RussianTiger: i s2g stop calling me that

vitya: ill call you whatever i want im your dad

RussianTiger: wtf

RussianTiger: ur not my dad wtf dumbass

pikachit: hey dont talk to ur father like that

katsukidon: if victor is his dad does that make me a mum

pikachit: yes

pikachit: no

pikachit: maybe?

pikachit: do u wanna be the mum

katsukidon: yeah go on then why not

RussianTiger: ur not my mum what the fuc

vitya: dont swear at your mother

RussianTiger: oh my god

pikachit: what does that make me

katsukidon: ur his uncle

katsukidon: the cool fun uncle 

(gay)uanghong: funcle

pikachit: fSJGDSJ FUNCLE

pikachit: ok im the uncle

(gay)uanghong: leo told me to ask what he is in the family

vitya: hes the grandpa

katsukidon: why is he the grandpa

vitya: idk theres not many family members left

pikachit: guang u and leo and the cousins probably

pikachit: bc ur young

pikachit: and we r the old responsible adults

Leo **♫** : ur one year older than me phichit what the fuck

pikachit: um dont question me im your elder and youll respect me

katsukidon: nO SWEARING

katsukidon: there are CHILDREN PRESENT

RussianTiger: IM NOT A CHILD

vitya: yes you are

RussianTiger: i hate this fuckign family

 

**_katsukidon_ ** _ renamed the chat  _ **_“PG-13 CHAT NO SWEARING ALLOWED”_ **

 

pikachit: isnt swearing allowed in pg-13 rated stuff?

(gay)uanghong: yea

pikachit: fsghdfgsh

katsukidon: i didnt come here to get attacked like this

pikachit: watchu gonna do about it bitcg

katsukidon: phichit ur tearing this family apart

vitya: if we’re a family what  surname do we all take

katsukidon: i.

katsukidon: i dont think it works like tht

katsukidon: we wouldnt all have the same surname i dont think

vitya: but me and you and yurio would

RussianTiger: call me that one more time and i swear im gonna punch you in the mouth nikiforov 

vitya: ur a nikiforov now too yurio!!!

katsukidon: why wouldnt we take my surname?

RussianTiger: i dont want either of ur surnames 

vitya: how about a double barrelled name? Katsuki-nikiforov?

katsukidon: thats a bit long winded dont u think

katsukidon: whatever itll do

RussianTiger: im not taking ur stupid ass surnames

pikachit: discourse in the katsuki-nikiforov family

 

**_pikachit_ ** _ renamed the conversation  _ **_‘Katsuki-Nikiforov family gc™’_ **

 

katsukidon: but why wld you leo and guang be katsuki-nikiforovs

pikachit: uhhhh

pikachit: wait so if im the uncle then im one of ur brothers so im either a katsuki or a nikiforov

katsukidon: ur my ##bro

pikachit: ok so im a katsuki

pikachit: so ? leo and guang hong r ??????

katsukidon: ur sons

pikachit: eW EW EW

pikachit: THATS ACTUALLY VILE FHSFGDHJH 

katsukidon: WHATS WRONG WITH THAT WHAT THE HELL

pikachit: thEY CANT BE BROTHERS TAHSTBSOS GROESS IM FOSBGINS

RussianTiger: calm tae fuc down

katsukidon: WHY NOT

pikachit: FSHDLS;AK

pikachit: BECAUS

pikachit: TAHST INCEST

katsukidon: what u talkin bout boi

pikachit: dOTND U KNOW

pikachit: FSJFIEJS YUURI DDGSSWIWN

katsukidon: ?????????

pikachit: THEY

pikachit: LEOADN GAUNGOND

RussianTiger: they fucking

RussianTiger: probably

pikachit: THSDFD D YEAH THAT

katsukidon: HOW DO U KNOW THAT WHAT

pikachit: HAVE U SEEN THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACHOTHER

pikachit: THEYRE IN LOVE

Katsukidon: WHY DIDNT I KNOW ABOUT THIS

pikachit: UHH IDK IF THEYRE ACYUALLY A THING

pikachit: BUT LIKE 

pikachit: THEY CANT BE BROTHERS BC IF THEY ARE A THING THEN THATS WEIRD

Leo **♫:** whats weird whatd i miss i was makin hot choc

RussianTiger: scroll up

katsukidon: DONT SCROLL UP

Pikachit: SFGFHSF IMDEAD 

pikachit: GB FRIENDS I AM MOVIGN TO ANOTHER COUTNRY 

pikachit: IM CHANGGIN MY NAME TO PHILLIPE RODRIGUEZ AND GOIGN TO CANADA

Leo **♫** : whAST THE FUC

Leo **♫** : WE ARE NOT

Leo **♫** : LOOK AT EACHOTHER LIKE WHAT

Leo **♫:** I DONT GET IT

katsukidon: …

Leo **♫:** WHAT DO U MEAN 

Leo **♫** : PHICHIT COME BACK I NEED ANSWERS

pikachit: BYE BOARDING MY FLIGHT TO CANNASDSA

katsukidon: lol rip phichit

Leo **♫:** I SWEAR TO GOD

Leo **♫:** IM GONNA BEAT YOU THE FUCK UP AT PRACTICE TOMORROW PHICHIT

pikachit: why wld u beat me up if what i said wasnt true

Katsukidon:.....

Leo **♫:** do u have a death wish chulanont

pikachit: gTG BYE

Leo **♫:** COWARD

RussianTiger: lol 

vitya: why is this family so dysfunctional

RussianTiger: stop calling us a family

RussianTiger: we arent a family ur not my dad

vitya: u said, and i quote: “i hate this fuckign family”

RussianTiger: fuck you 

katsukidon: #rekt


	2. no phones in the onsen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops im posting 2 chapters in one day bc i got carried away lol  
> theres mentions of sex but nothing explicit (i mean theres a lot said but nothing extra explicit)  
> i wanted to add more characters this chapter but o well 
> 
> also just as a reminder here r the screen names:  
> Phichit: pikachit  
> Yuuri: katsukidon  
> Victor: vitya  
> Yuri: RussianTiger  
> Leo: Leo♫  
> Guang-hong: (gay)uanghong

Leo ♫: PHICHIT

Leo ♫: PHICHIT

Leo ♫: PHICHIT

Leo ♫: PHICHIT

Leo ♫: PHICHIT

Leo ♫: PHICHCHHCHHIT

Leo ♫: PHICSHAJHIT

Leo ♫: PHIWHAJSJICHIT

Leo ♫: PHICHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITITITITI

Leo ♫: PHICHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

Leo ♫: BOI

Leo ♫: I SWEAR

Leo ♫: WHERE R U

Leo ♫: PHICHIT

Leo ♫: PHICHIT CHULANONT

Leo ♫: STOP IGNORING ME

Leo ♫: WHY ARENT U AT PRACTICE

Leo ♫: IS IT BC I SAID I WAS GONNA BEAT U UP

Leo ♫: IM A PUSSY ASS BITCH U KNOW I WOULDNT ACTUALLY 

Leo ♫: FFFFFFFF ANSWER ME

Leo ♫: ANSWER ME OR ILL TELL EVERYONE UR A FURRY

pikachit: IM NOT A FURRY THO

Leo ♫: U RESPOND TO THAT

Leo ♫: WHERE ARE YOU

Leo ♫: IS IT COS UR SCARED ID BEAT UR ASS

pikachit: ya :’((((

pikachit: lol jk i cld fight u off any day come at me

pikachit: sry i overslept im omw now tell yuuri i got him coffee

Leo ♫: wtf u didnt get me coffee?? 

Leo ♫: i am hurt

Leo ♫: offended

pikachit: u wanted to beat me up wtf no coffee for u

Leo ♫: sorry dad

pikachit: why arent u skating young man go back to practice

Leo ♫: sorry dad x2

 

-

 

(gay)uanghong: omg phichit is a furry what 

pikachit: im nOT A FURRY THAT WAS A CRUEL LIE

katsukidon: if ur not a furry whys ur name pikachit

pikachit: BC IM A LOSER AND I LIKE POKEMON OKAY 

(gay)uanghong: phichit wants to fuck a pokemon

katsukidon: omgfjdg

pikachit: NO

pikachit: WHY ARE U ALL GANGING UP ON ME

pikachit: YUURI I BOUGHT U COFFEE AND THIS IS HOW U TREAT ME

katsukidon: ok tru sorry 

katsukidon: thx for the coffee<3

pikachit: <3

(gay)uanghong: phichit do u like to roleplay as ash ketchum and pikachu in bed

 

**_pikachit_ ** _ removed  _ **_(gay)uanghong_ ** _ from the conversation. _

 

katsukidon: brING HIM BACK

pikachit: no hes a TRAITOR

Leo ♫: omgggggg

katsukidon: lsiten its okay if u wanna roleplay as pokemon we wont judge u this is a no kinkshaming zone we accept u <3

 

**_pikachit_ ** _ removed  _ **_katsukidon_ ** _ from the conversation. _

 

Leo ♫: u cannot run away from ur fears

Leo ♫: u must face them head on

 

**_Leo_ ** **_♫_ ** _ added  _ **_katsukidon_ ** _ and  _ **_(gay)uanghong_ ** _ to the conversation. _

  
  


katsukidon: u cant get rid of us that easy phichit

Leo ♫: we r a family we gotta stick 2gether

(gay)uanghong: ok im not a furry but

Leo ♫: ‘but’

(gay)uanghong: if u had to be a furry what animal would u be

katsukidon: r u asking us what our fursonas would be

(gay)uanghong: yeah

Leo ♫: idk i never really thought about it

pikachit: SO WHEN GUANG HONG IS A FURRY ITS FINE

pikachit: BUT WHEN I SO MUCH AS LIKE POKEMON

pikachit: SUDDENLY IM THE BAD GUY

katsukidon: no i told u we accept u for ur furry ways <3

Leo ♫: id say a lion bc my name is leo but thats too cliche

(gay)uanghong: i like cliche

pikachit: ;))) leo take notes he likes cliche

Leo ♫: what

katsukidon: idk what i would be

RussianTiger: u wld be a pig lol

katsukidon: ok 1) rude and 2) u said u were having a bath get off ur phone

katsukidon: dont take ur phone into the onsen thats both dangerous and against the rules

RussianTiger: i do wat i want

Leo ♫: ##edgy teen

Leo ♫: so much edge u could cut through bone

pikachit: so much edge u cld juuust about cut through victors ego

Leo ♫: omG

vitya: im in this chat you know

pikachit: yeah ik

Leo ♫: LMAO

vitya: my fursona would be a wolf

pikachit: thats boring and overdone

(gay)uanghong: oh? so u know a lot about furry culture phichit?? ;)))))

pikachit: wtf ur the one who asked what everyones fursona would be

(gay)uanghong: touche 

RussianTiger: i wld b a tiger

katsukidon: NO PHONES IN THE ONSEN

pikachit: oooo mamas getting angry

katsukidon: ITS THE RULES OKAY ALSO WHAT IF HE DROPS HIS PHONE IN THE WATER

 

**_pikachit_ ** _ renamed the conversation  _ **_‘furries anonymous’_ **

  
  


vitya: what about you guang hong whats your fursona

(gay)uanghong: dont say it as if i already have one omfsfdh

pikachit: dont lie we all know ur secret

Leo ♫: hasnt everyone been lowkey a furry at one point

(gay)uanghong: LEODJDHF

Leo ♫: I MEAN

Leo ♫: WHEN I WAS LIKE 12 I THOUGHT IT WAS SO COOL IF I ALWAYS DREW WOLVES AND SHIT

Leo ♫: AND WORE CAT EARS AND STUFF

RussianTiger: cat ears r cute go fuck urself u yank

katsukidon: NO PHONES IN THE ONSEN

RussianTiger: i jst got out calm down jfc

pikachit: ok i did tht too tbh leo

Leo ♫: did u just call me a yank

katsukidon: no fighting pls mamas had a rough day

pikachit: sorry mama yuuri we will all calm down

RussianTiger: no u had a rough fuck

Leo ♫:FDIFKHDJKSJK

katsukidon: WHAT 

Leo ♫: LMAO

pikachit: omg what

katsukidon: WHAT R U TALKING ABOUT

RussianTiger: dont even try 2 deny it pig i heard u and victor earlier

pikachit: OM FG

RussianTiger: just after we got back from practice and u asked if victor wanted any lunch and he winked and then u both ran off

Leo ♫: IM SOBBING

RussianTiger: nd then i heard slapping and groaning and victors name

pikachit: SLAPPING 

pikachit: OHGNDDJ IM CKDJ

pikachit: YUURI U KINKY MOTHERFUCKER

Leo ♫: IM DEAD

 

**_katsukidon_ ** _ has left the conversation. _

 

pikachit: I CANT BELEIE THIS THIS SISNDO FUNNY

Leo ♫: I CANT BELIEVE U HEARD THEM HAVING SEX OGMDJG

RussianTiger: dont laugh it was traumatising and i want 2 die

pikachit: IM SORRY FFSDG ITS JUST. YUURI. AND SLAPPIGN WTF OMG WHAT WAS HAPPENING

RussianTiger: p sure he got spanked but dont hold me to tht i didnt see anything 

RussianTiger: luckily

Leo ♫: yuuri likes getting spanked #confirmed

(gay)uanghong: i leave for 2 seconds and whilst im gone we discover yuuris kinky secret

Leo ♫: thts not that kinky

Leo ♫: there r many more kinkier things he cld be into

(gay)uanghong: oh? like  what?? ;))))

pikachit: GET A ROOM

Leo ♫: I NEVER SAID I WAS INTO THE KINKIER SHIT

(gay)uanghong: :// thts a shame

pikachit: oh my GOD

RussianTiger: i dont wanna hear this ive heard enough nsfw stuff today

pikachit: shit sorry i forgot u were a child

RussianTiger: IM NOT A CHILD IM FIFTEEN

 

**_(gay)uanghong_ ** _ added  _ **_katsukidon_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

(gay)uanghong: yuuri pls its okay see leo confessed tht hes into even kinkier shit than u

Leo ♫: UM NO I DIDNT????

katsukidon: i want to fuckign die 

pikachit: :o MAMA YUURI SWORE

(gay)uanghong: u did

Leo ♫: ??????RECIEPTS?????? SCROLL UP BITCH I SAID NO SUCH THING

(gay)uanghong: u implied it

Leo ♫: im gonna fuckign strangle u

(gay)uanghong: is tht one of the things ur into leo?

pikachit: U WALKED RIGHT INTO THAT ONE

 

**_Leo_ ** **_♫_ ** _ left the conversation. _

 

**_pikachit_ ** _ added  _ **_Leo_ ** **_♫_ ** _ to the conversation _

 

pikachit: EVERYONE STOP LEAVING THERES NO ESCAPE

pikachit: u cant leave ur family we gotta stick together if u leave we will just add u back in

Leo ♫: im being bullied

(gay)uanghong: its not bullying im js if u wanna choke me thats fine

vitya: why is this happening without me

pikachit: yurio heard u smackin yuuris ass lol

vitya: well he was a bad boy he needed the punishment

Pikachit: OH MY GODJDH

Leo ♫: VICTORKSSJ

Leo ♫: WTFWGSTWFGHSJ

(gay)uanghong: A BAD BOY IM DECEASEDSS

katsukidon: victor i swear to god

pikachit: FFFFFFFUCHKFING HELL YUURI

Pikachit: IM WHEEIFNG

Leo ♫: dont u guys live with yuuris family what the fuck

pikachit: OMFHSGFHS LEO

Leo ♫: IM JS WHAT IF THEY HEARD

RussianTiger: well I HEARD AND I WANT TO POUR BLEACH IN MY EARS

(gay)uanghong: jesus christ

 

**_katsukidon_ ** _ left the conversation. _

 

**_pikachit_ ** _ added  _ **_katsukidon_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

pikachit: no escape

 

**_katsukidon_ ** _ left the conversation. _

 

(gay)uanghong: ok maybe we should leave him be for a bit hes probably embarrassed af

pikachit: tru

Leo ♫: ye

pikachit: i kinda feel bad now fffff

Leo ♫: fff same 

Leo ♫: but tbh it was lowkey victors fault omg he called him a bad boy

vitya: i meant what i said

pikachit: oh my gOD vcitor omgdshdbdg go find yuuri hes probably mortified

vitya: hes locked himself in his room he wont let me in :((

(gay)uanghong: peak

pikachit: go make him some coffee or smth idk

vitya: okay Mission Get Yuuri Out of his Room has started

vitya: i will report back with any progress

Leo ♫: thanks agent victor

(gay)uanghong: are we agents now i wanna be an agent

Leo ♫: ur too adorable to be an agent

pikachit: thats gay

(gay)uanghong: I HAVE A BABY FACE :((((

pikachit: but thats the perfect distraction!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pikachit: no one wld suspect an adorable little fluff ball like u to be an agent so its a great disguise

(gay)uanghong: :D

RussianTiger: dont quit skating to be a secret agent u will regret it

(gay)uanghong: u cant tell me what to do kid

RussianTiger: dont call me kid ur only 2 years older than me

Pikachit: oooo fight fight fight fight fight

Leo ♫: NO FIGHTING

pikachit: leo ur a spoil sport :(

Leo ♫: yuuri isnt here to be our mum so ill have to step in

Leo ♫: no fighting 

Leo ♫: unless its on smash

Leo ♫: then hell yeah fighting

pikachit: omg i wanna play smash bros now

Leo ♫: i have a wiiu come over we can play 

pikachit: ON MY FUCKIGN WAY

(gay)uanghong: can i come

Leo ♫: ofc

Leo ♫: u can too yuri if u want

RussianTiger: alright

Leo ♫: you guys can stay the night if u want ? we can order pizza or smth and have a proper smash tournament

pikachit: leo the real mvp

pikachit: who do u main

Leo ♫: i havent played in a while tbh but usually zero suit samus 

RussianTiger: ness

pikachit: who the fuck mains ness lmao

RussianTiger: me bitch and what

RussianTiger: when i beat ur ass as ness u wont be laughing

pikachit: doubt u will win but k 

RussianTiger: dont doubt me ill kick ur ass into 2020 do u wanna be missing some teeth bro

pikachit: chill

Leo ♫: are u guys coming or what

pikachit: soz some tiny kitten was tryna fight me ://

RussianTiger: the fuc did u just say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thx for the nice comments on the first bit of this omg bless u all


	3. yuuri likes brit pop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried to make it obvious when ppl were private messaging instead of in the gc i hope its clear
> 
> anyway heres more of this train wreck !!! im getting so many nice comments on this omg ur all angels bless u all sm??
> 
> here r usernames:  
> Phichit: pikachit  
> Yuuri: katsukidon  
> Victor: vitya  
> Yuri: RussianTiger  
> Leo: Leo♫  
> Guang-hong: (gay)uanghong  
> Minami: chickennugget ((yea hes here now lol))

vitya: as if you guys are playing smash without us

pikachit: u were busy soz

pikachit: its a 4 player game

Leo♫: actually on the wiiu u can have 8 players

pikachit: wtf thats so cool we shld all play some time

Leo♫: also , welcome back agent victor have u made any progress on gettin yuuri outta his room

vitya: no pls help

vitya: ive been writing notes and sliding them under the door but i just hear him ripping them up and sliding back the shreds

pikachit: omfdgdf

pikachit: i knew yuuri was petty but omggg

vitya: heLP ME IDK WHAT TO DO i tried sending mkkachin to get him to come out but he just opened the door and let makkachin in and then locked it again

vitya: now im boyfriend-less AND dog-less

pikachit: rip

Leo♫: play this outside his door: [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wfpXI5PKlw ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wfpXI5PKlw)

vitya: whats that

Leo♫: click it

vitya: why the hell would that work

Leo♫: just trust me

vitya: okay fine?? ill try it??? ill do anything at this point hes been in there for like 2 hours

Leo♫: ;))

vitya: okay what the fuck how did u know that would work

Leo♫: bc everyone loves the spice girls

Leo♫: especially yuuri

pikachit: victor didnt u know yuuri loves brit pop

vitya: as if i couldnt coax him out of his room but spice up ur life by the fucking spice girls can

Leo♫: tbh that song is a bop

 

 **_pikachit_ ** _added_ **_katsukidon_ ** _to the conversation._

 

pikachit: we r sorry yuuri

katsukidon: can we not talk about it

katsukidon: id rather talk more about the spice girls

Leo♫: pls idk anyone else who likes them

katsukidon: omg yes leo pls spiceworld saves my life daily

Leo♫: yEEEESSS MY BOIIII

Leo♫: whos ur fave spice

katsukidon: posh spice duh

Leo♫: hmm i like sporty spice tbh

vitya: what the hell is a sporty spice

Leo♫: shes a spice girl u uncultured piece of ass

vitya: alright alright sorry

vitya: is yurio w u

pikachit: him and guang hong r arguing bc yurio cheated at smash

vitya: ok tell him me and yuuri r sorry we were so loud

pikachit: okay

pikachit: he said ‘fuck you i wish i never followed you to japan’

vitya: ill take that as him accepting the apology <3

(gay)uanghong: guys get out of the gc or we r starting a new game without u

pikachit: aight bye victor

vitya: cant believe youre leaving me for smash bros

Leo♫: bye victorrrr <3

vitya: the one time im in the chat you guys ditch me

Pikachit: <33333

  


-

  


vitya: gd morning guys

pikachit: sup

vitya: theres somethign wrong

vitya: with yuuri…..

pikachit: what is he okay??

Vitya: idk……

Leo♫: did something happen?

vitya: he…

vitya: he likes coleslaw

Leo♫: ….

Leo♫: u had me worried there for a second omg dont do that again

vitya: this is SERIOUS im going to cry i cant believe my boyfriend likes coleslaw

katsukidon: whats so bad about coleslaw

vitya: EVERYTHING

pikachit: EVERYTHING

pikachit: YUURI I CANT BELIEVE YOU LIKE C*LESLAW

pikachit: I THOUGHT WE WERE BROS

katsukidon: did u just censor coleslaw

pikachit: i dont want to see that word ever again

Leo♫: wtf is wrong with coleslaw its good?

vitya: oh god not you too

pikachit: how did we let this happen

pikachit: i cant believe 2/6 of us are disgusting human beings who eat dirt

katsukidon: its not dirt?????????

pikachit: IT MIGHT AS WELL BE

(gay)uanghong: leo why are u actually like this

Leo♫: what

(gay)uanghong: and just when i thought u were cute too

(gay)uanghong: good things arent meant to last apparently

Leo♫: ?? u think im cute???????

pikachit: gay

(gay)uanghong: not anymore

(gay)uanghong: anyone who likes c*leslaw is automatically on my hit list

(gay)uanghong: also ye phichit ik im gay have u read my username

katsukidon: why are you censoring coleslaw what the hell guys

pikachit: its the spawn of satan

 

 **_(gay)uanghong_ ** _renamed the conversation_ **_‘fuck c*leslaw’_ **

 

katsukidon: this is getting ridiculous

pikachit: sorry mama yuuri but this is how it is

(gay)uanghong: the next person to say the c word is getting a slap

RussianTiger: cunt

(gay)uanghong: what no

(gay)uanghong: i meant c*leslaw

katsukidon: LANGUAGE WHAT THE HECK YURIO

RussianTiger: [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1c2OfAzDTI ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1c2OfAzDTI)

pikachit: omgfgsf yuri

(gay)uanghong: did yuri just…...meme?

katsukidon: sorry its a habit to call u that

katsukidon: also thats a gd song ngl i love me some brit pop

Leo♫: yuri can u skate to that pls thats be so funny

Leo♫: also incorporate phichits dabbing on ice idea

RussianTiger: im gonna ignore ur dumb ideas

(gay)uanghong: rekt

RussianTiger: also yuuri makkachin is laying on my phone charger and i dont wanna wake him up but my phones on 12% help

katsukidon: i have a spare come to my room

RussianTiger: ur the real mvp

vitya: did u just say smth nice to yuuri

vitya: yuratchka are u feeling okay???

vitya: do u need assistance???

(gay)uanghong: shld i call an ambulance

RussianTiger: im scolded when im mean but this happens when im nice what do u guys want from me

vitya: your love

RussianTiger: fuck off?

(gay)uanghong: dont swear at ur dad

 

-

( _Private Message:_ **_RussianTiger_ ** _and_ **_pikachit_ **

RussianTiger: phichit

RussianTiger: phichit get here now

pikachit: whats up

RussianTiger: um

RussianTiger: whos tht guy on ur instagram

pikachit: who????

RussianTiger: the one w the cool hair

RussianTiger: w the red fringe

pikachit: oh thats minami!!!!

RussianTiger: how do u know him

pikachit: hes my mums friends kid

pikachit: weve known eachother forever

Pikachit: i hadnt seen him in years but he just moved back to hasetsu so ye hes probably gonna come skating at the ice castle

RussianTiger: hes a skater????

pikachit: ye bro y

RussianTiger:....

RussianTiger: no reason……

pikachit: does someone have a cruuuuushhhhh~~~

RussianTiger: NO

pikachit: its okay ill introduce u to him

pikachit: do u want me to be ur wing man

RussianTiger: NO

RussianTiger: I JUST THOUGHT HE WAS CUTE

pikachit: dont u wanna get to know the cute boy

RussianTiger: NO IM NOT GOOD AT TALKING TO CUTE PEOPLE I GET FLUSTERED

pikachit: wow i cant believe yuri plisetsky, the russian punk, gets flustered when talking to cute boys

pikachit: omg i have the perfect idea imma add him to the group chat brb

RussianTiger: NO WHAT

RussianTiger: PHICHIT)

 

 **_pikachit_ ** _added_ **_chickennugget_ ** _to the conversation._

 

chickennugget: why is this chat called fuck coleslaw

pikachit: bc c*leslaw is gross

Leo♫:??????

pikachit: o ye guys this is my pal minami he just moved to hasetsu pls be nice to him

Leo♫: hello minami welcome to this train wreck

(gay)uanghong: what family member is minami

Chickennugget: family member?

pikachit: o yeah we r a ###family

pikachit: yuuri and victor are the mum and dad

pikachit: yuri is their kid

pikachit: im yuuris brother making me yuris uncle

(gay)uanghong: *funcle

pikachit: *yuris funcle

pikachit: leo and gh are my kids

chickennugget: what am i

Leo♫: u can be..?>?.?? Idk enough about u to do this

(gay)uanghong: ur name is chicken nugget so u can be a chicken

chickennugget: why wld the family have a chicken

(gay)uanghong: a pet chicken obviously

(gay)uanghong: anyway lets introduce ourselves to our new chicken friend

(gay)uanghong: hi im guang hong ji im 17 from china and im gay

(gay)uanghong: if u cldnt already tell by my name

Leo♫: im leo im 19 from the usa

chickennugget: are u gay too

Leo♫: ye

pikachit: why are we all gay

pikachit: how did this happen

vitya: hi im victor nikiforov, 5 time world champion figure skater, 27 years old

RussianTiger: did u rly have to

vitya: what else am i supposed to say

pikachit: victor pls stop reminding us all ur better than us :’((

vitya: sorry

katsukidon: hi im yuuri i like the spice girls

chickennugget: omg yuuri hi ur so cool i lov ur skating u inspire me

katsukidon: woah rly

katsukidon: wtf thats so cool im glad !! thx for the ego boost

RussianTiger: hi im yuri plisetsky im the better yuri

RussianTiger: im 8 years younger than him and im more talented

RussianTiger: also im better looking

katsukidon: and my ego is back down again

pikachit: heres a selfie w leo and guang and yuuri

pikachit: [ bros.jpg ](http://67.media.tumblr.com/11be1cf256aa6c98c8a22a1b48a098be/tumblr_og9rgvvrkS1v7dnkqo1_r1_1280.jpg)

pikachit: i dont have one with yuri and victor sadly

(gay)uanghong: chicken nugget boy what do u look like

pikachit: he looks like a nugget

(gay)uanghong: omg rly

chickennugget: [ selfie.jpg ](http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/yurionice/images/0/06/Determination_of_Kenjirou.png/revision/latest?cb=20161121162623) that me

pikachit: so warm and fuzzy here

katsukidon: omg tiny tooth im sobbing

chickennugget: DONT MAKE FUN OF MY TOOTH

katsukidon: IM NOT ITS CUTE

chickennugget: omg yuuri called me cute

chickennugget: error: minami.exe has stopped working

Leo♫: i like this guy hes funny

(gay)uanghong: wtf no ur not allowed to be in this friendship group

katsukidon: guang hong what the hell

(gay)uanghong: hes too adorable looking

(gay)uanghong: im the adorable one

(gay)uanghong: there can only be one

chickennugget: wtf all these compliments im crying ur all so sweet

pikachit: <3 lov u

(gay)uanghong: minami do u have instagram

chickennugget: yea whats ur username

  
  
  


( _Private Message:_ **_RussianTiger_ ** _and_ **_pikachit_ **

RussianTiger: i cant belieb he stans the other yuri

pikachit: jealous??? ;););));)

RussianTiger: no

RussianTiger: why wld i be jealous

RussianTiger: i jst dnt understand why anyone wld be a fan of him

pikachit: u gotta admit yuuri is hot as fuck

RussianTiger:...

RussianTiger: okay ill give him that

pikachit: omg i cant believe yuri plisetsky just said that yuuri katsuki is hot

RussianTiger: dont u dare

pikachit: :)

RussianTiger: phichit no

pikachit: :)))

RussianTiger: im going tio break ur legs

pikachit: im jk dw i wont tell him u said tht

pikachit: but anyway do u still want me to be ur wingman for minami

pikachit: hes gonna be at practice soon sooooo ;)))

RussianTiger: i never said i wanted u to be my wing man

RussianTiger: i dont even know anythig abt him

pikachit: thats why u get to know him ;)))))

pikachit: hes a rly good skater ur gonna be shook when u see him

RussianTiger: i hate u so much )

  


**_Leo♫_ ** _renamed the conversation_ **_‘sk8r boiz’._ **

 

(gay)uanghong: is that an avril lavigne reference

Leo♫: maybe

(gay)uanghong: shes cool so ill let it slide

katsukidon: omg remember that one song she wrote called hello kitty and she was all like ‘ka ka ka kawaiiiiiii~~’

Leo♫: omGHJFJD I REMEMBER THAT

Leo♫: avril lavigne is a weeaboo confirmed

katsukidon: tht entire video is like she wants to be all cute and pastel aesthetic but she doesnt wanna lose her brand of being ##punk

Leo♫: omg okay truuuu

pikachit: hey guys

pikachit: look

pikachit: screenshot_1.jpg

Leo♫: omg

RussianTiger: PHICHIT WHAT THWE ACTUAL FUCK U SAID U WOULDNT SHOW

pikachit: **¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

RussianTiger: UR A FUCKING TRAITOR YKNOW THAT

katsukidon: omggggg yuri whattttt

 

 **_RussianTiger_ ** _left the conversation._

 

(gay)uanghong: fsgdgs i cant believe yuri thinks yuuri is hot

katsukidon: um ? rude???

(gay)uanghong: nO NO NO I MEAN

(gay)uanghong: U R HOT

(gay)uanghong: I JST MEANT BC HE ALWAYS CALLS U FAT AND PIG AND IS RUDE TO U

(gay)uanghong: UR RLY HOT PLS DONT KILL ME MAMA YUURI

katsukidon: dont call me hot and mama in the same sentence

 

 **_pikachit_ ** _added_ **_RussianTiger_ ** _to the conversation._

 

pikachit: yuri dw its okay

pikachit: i mean have u SEEN yuuris eros performance

pikachit: honestly if i wasnt already a raging homosexual then watching tht wouldve made me one like hot DAMN

katsukidon: omg phichit u do wonders to my ego <333

vitya: um hands off

pikachit: sorry papa victor

pikachit: mama yuuri is hot no homo

katsukidon: stop calling me hot and mama in the same sentence omggg

pikachit: hot mama

(gay)uanghong: the word mama just reminds me of cooking mama yknow that DS game

katsukidon: omg that game was lit ngl

(gay)uanghong: honestly ?? it was

(gay)uanghong: i was a pro

 

 **_katsukidon_ ** _renamed the conversation_ **_‘cooking mama’s kitchen’._ **

 

chickennugget: i have like 56834738 notifs from this chat oh my god do u guys ever stop talking

pikachit: no

(gay)uanghong: no

katsukidon: no

Leo♫: no

vitya: no

pikachit: victor ur like hardly ever in the chat shut ur mouth

vitya: but u guys never stop talking

chickennugget: what have i gotten myself into

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate coleslaw


	4. secrets?????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay this is a shorter chapter bc 1) i wanted to get another bit out today and 2) the next bit didnt rly seem right with how it looked as one chapter (even thoigh when i space ot the conversations in one chapter , its like at a different point in time but still)  
> anyway heres some guang hong being a hot mess and making a separate group chat to talk about how gay he is bc tbh ive done that (the .jpg files r actually links u shld probably click them to fully understand whats going on bc these guys r memes)  
> only phichit guang and yuuri r in this and u know their names by now ok enjoy bye

**_(gay)uanghong_ ** _ added  _ **_pikachit_ ** _ and  _ **_katsukidon_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

**_(gay)uanghong_ ** _ renamed the conversation  _ **_‘SECRET CHAT FOR SECRETS’_ **

 

katsukidon: why do we have another chat 

(gay)uanghong: FOR SECRETS can u read

(gay)uanghong: i cant say this in the other gc i need to talk priv with my ##bros

pikachit: im always a slut for gossip 

katsukidon: aight go on then 

katsukidon: spill

(gay)uanghong: its about leo

pikachit: ;)))));));)));):):):):;0;0;;;)

(gay)uanghong: u dONT NEED TO WINK AT ME THTS WHAT IM GETTING AT

(gay)uanghong: HES CLUELESS

(gay)uanghong: IM BEING SO OBVIOUS???? WHAT DOESNT HE UNDERSTAND????

katsukidon: maybe ur not being as obvious as u think

pikachit: no hes being obvious

pikachit: he said leo could choke him if he wants and that its a shame tht leo isnt kinky

katsukidon: o yeah tru

(gay)uanghong: WHAT DO I DO

(gay)uanghong: I NEED UR HELP 

pikachit: do not worry, young one

pikachit: i, phichit, the master of love, can help u

katsukidon: phichit when was the last time u were in a relationship

pikachit: im gonna pretend u didnt say that

pikachit: ok guang hong what ur gonna wanna do is invite him over

(gay)uanghong: okay

pikachit: and when he knocks on ur door

pikachit: u open it

(gay)uanghong: right

pikachit: but when u open it ur only wearing lingerie

katsukidon: OMGHFJDH

(gay)uanghong: ok 1) how u do know about my lingerie wtf and 2) LEO IS SO DENSE HE WOULD PROBABLY JUST SQUEAL AND COVER HIS EYES UNTIL I PUT CLOTHES ON

pikachit: tbh tru lol for a 19 year old hes very. virginal

pikachit: waIT WHAT

pikachit: U ACTUALLY HAV LINGERIE FSHDJSHF

pikachit: I WSA JOKING 

pikachit: MOSTLY 

pikachit: I WLDVE COME WITH U TO HELP U PICK OUT SOME LINGERIE IF THTS WHAT U WANTED TO TRY BUT OMGDGJS I DIDNT KNOW U ACTUALLY HAD OT

(gay)uanghong: DONT MAKE FUN OF ME

(gay)uanghong: IT COMPLIMENTS MY EFFEMINATE FIGURE AND ANDROGYNOUS STYLE

pikachit: IM NOT MAKIGN FUN OF U IM JUST SHOCKED

katsukidon: either way i wldnt reccomend opening the door to just u in lingerie

katsukidon: what if its not leo and its like

katsukidon: the postman 

katsukidon: and he sees u all dressed up in lace

(gay)uanghong: u have a gd point

pikachit: i have no other ideas

katsukidon: i thought u said u were the ‘master of love’

pikachit: yuuri

pikachit: as much as i wish i was the master of love…..

pikachit: the last time i kissed anyone was at a party when we were in college

pikachit: during spin the bottle

pikachit: and i wasnt even drunk

pikachit: and it was YOU

katsukidon: omGJFHSDJ IM SORRY

katsukidon: omg college was ####wild

pikachit: it rly wasnt tbh that was the wildest thing u did and u only had like 2 sips of cider

katsukidon: ur just tryna embarrass me bc u havent kissed anyone since me <3 <3

(gay)uanghong: thats gay

(gay)uanghong: but also

(gay)uanghong:  [ birb.jpg ](http://67.media.tumblr.com/eeea11373c2f3c5577fc3376a3aab24b/tumblr_nkib82XpEp1uojoiko1_500.jpg)

(gay)uanghong: stop talking about ur college hookup and help me seduce leo

pikachit: alright alright sry

pikachit: ummmm

katsukidon: just ask him out on a date???

(gay)uanghong: to WHERE

katsukidon: idk?? a cafe???

(gay)uanghong: BUT IM ANXIOUS AT CAFES I CANT ORDER THINGS I GET ALL SHAKY AND I CANT SPEAK

katsukidon: i undrstand okay maybe not that then

katsukidon: hmmmmm

pikachit: OMG

pikachit: IVE GOT IT

pikachit: LOOK WHAT I FOUND

(gay)uanghong: WHAT IS IT

pikachit:  [ cheesy.jpg ](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2014-09/11/11/enhanced/webdr04/enhanced-10567-1410447889-11.jpg?no-auto)

katsukidon: THATS BRILLIANT

pikachit: IKR ITS PERFECT

(gay)uanghong: OMG 

(gay)uanghong: PHICHIT UR A LIFE SAVER

(gay)uanghong: U RLY ARE THE MASTER OF LOVE

pikachit: HELL YEAH I AM

katsukidon: ok but when u gonna do it

(gay)uanghong: uhhh

(gay)uanghong: prob at the weekend??? ill invite him over to play overwatch or smth and order pizza and write on the box whilst im in the kitchen getting plates

(gay)uanghong: im fuckign. tERRIFIED WHAT IF HE SAYS NO

pikachit: he wont 

pikachit: have u seen the way he looks at u

katsukidon: he pretty much salivates when he watches u skate in practise

pikachit: did u not see the way he was blushing and stuttering when u jumped on him the other day when he beat u at smash

katsukidon: omg u tackled him thats gay how doesnt he understand

(gay)uanghong: OKAY OKAY FFF THANK U GUYS U R MY ##HOMIES 4 LYF IDK WHAT ID DO WITHOUT U I LOVE U

(gay)uanghong: NO HOMO

katsukidon: ‘no homo’ ‘help me seduce a man’ 

(gay)uanghong: shUT UR MOUTH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just wanted to let u all know that i am not sorry for the slander against c*leslaw in the third chapter ok its gross and tbh i headcanon yuuri and leo to be the type of people to like that disgustign food


	5. guang hong is a puppy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello its yo boy aidan back at it again w some more of this bullshit  
> this is just self indulgent cuteness bc i love dogs and also i lvoe these boys so much i cry i want them to all be happy

RussianTiger: hey

RussianTiger: look at these dogs

RussianTiger:  [ puppers.jpg ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cve0PScXYAA7bOW.jpg)

pikachit: oh my goddddd theyre so GOOD

pikachit: GOOD BOYS

katsukidon: oh MY GOD ANGELS??? PURE??? SO GOOD???

katsukidon: I WANT ONE CAN WE GET ONE

katsukidon: VICTOR WHERE R U 

katsukidon: VICCCCCTTTTOOORRRR

RussianTiger: we already have a dog

RussianTiger: ‘we’ meaning victor. i meant theres already a dog in the house

RussianTiger: wld ur parents rly let u get another dog

katsukidon: makkachin cld use a friend!!

pikachit: omg yuri thats so cute u said ‘we’

RussianTiger: I MEANT IT LIKE THERES ALREADY A DOG HERE

pikachit: u rly are like a lil family omg

RussianTiger: i wanna die

RussianTiger: also if ur allowed another dog then am i allowed another cat

katsukidon: thats fINE i want all the animals

pikachit: u have a cat??????

RussianTiger: yes!!! shes beautiful!!! i love her!!!!!!!!

RussianTiger: mila came 2 japan and brought her with her when i told her i was stayign here

pikachit: oh my gdo show me ur cat

katsukidon: she and makkachin r still weird around eachother  :(((

RussianTiger: well tht dog is massive she has a right to be scared

katukidon: but hes harmless :((((

pikachit: makkachin is an angel ngl hes so cute i die

(gay)uanghong: stop talking about things being cute if theyre not me

(gay)uanghong: im the cutest

pikachit: omg

(gay)uanghong: ill be ur puppy

(gay)uanghong: compliment me

(gay)uanghong:  [ lookhowcuteiam.jpg ](http://lostinanime.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Yuri-on-Ice-06-6.jpg)

(gay)uanghong:  [ impretty.jpg ](http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/yurionice/images/a/a1/GJ_Icon_1.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/250?cb=20161112212928)

katsukidon: wtf ur so soft and squish

pikachit: fluffy boy!!!!!

RussianTiger: why r u giving in to his attention seeking

pikachit : hes CUTE dont u have eyes 

(gay)uanghong: he only has one eye bc hes emo

(gay)uanghong: cut ur fringe mate

RussianTiger: wtf did i do to deserve thsi i didnt say u werent cute

pikachit: dont u think hes cute

RussianTiger: i mean yeah??? Ur like a puppy

(gay)uanghong: are u hitting on me, plisetsky?

katsukidon: FSHDGS

RussianTiger: NO

RussianTiger: PHICHIT AND YUURI CALLED U CUTE TOO WTF

(gay)uanghong: dw dw im only teasing u

(gay)uanghong: look heres me again

(gay)uanghong:  [ complimentmemore.gif ](http://66.media.tumblr.com/a7b6a97054333f7a2159376e3324a5cb/tumblr_ogep3ahAFS1vgzd4so8_250.gif)

chickennugget: why do u have a gif of urself

pikachit: CUUUUTEST BOY

(gay)uanghong: its amazing what the internet can do

pikachit: also hello minami welcome

chickennugget: hi 

chikennugget: why were u mad yesterday tho guang hong wtf ur way cuter than me

RussianTiger: why is this chat so fucking gay can everyone stop being homosexual for like two seconds??????????????

katsukidon: no

pikachit: no

(gay)uanghong: u called me cute like 5 seconds ago dont pretend to be straight

(gay)uanghong: look heres me and leo bein cute  [ wearecute.jpg ](https://67.media.tumblr.com/c385d119b43d723213dc66099ccddec3/tumblr_inline_ogh6ewFGwn1r3gyp3_540.png)

pikachit: i love my beautiful children

chickennugget: omg ur so cuteeee is tht ur boyfriend aww

(gay)uanghong:..

(gay)uanghong:.....

(gay)uanghong:. yes

chickennugget: u guYS R ADORABLE

pikachit: FDJFSJHD GUANG

Leo ♫:??????????????????????

Leo♫: ????

Leo♫:....thats ME

Chickennugget: oHH THATS U sorry i dnt rly remember everyones faces i havent met u all yet so 

(gay)uanghong: oh hi babe

chickennugget: u two look so cute together wtf power couple

pikachit: oh my goddddddd guang hoign ji pls

(gay)uanghong: idk what ur talking about phichit

(gay)uanghong: and aww thank u minami bless !! we do look quite cute together dont we babe

katsukidon: why r u doign this

Leo♫: uhhhhh???????????????????????????????

(gay)uanghong: doing what?? :)

chickennugget: omg whats ur ship name

pikachit: omgjgdhsgf

(  _ Private Message: _ **_pikachit_ ** _ and  _ **_(gay)uanghong_ ** _. _

pikachit: BOI WHAT R U DOIGN

pikachit: DID U ASK HIM OUT ALREADY OR

(gay)uanghong: fSGFHSJG NO 

(gay)uanghong: I SAID IT AS A JOKE BUT THEN HE CAME INTO THE CHAT FUCKDHSU

pikachit: FFFF SAY UR NOT DATING 

pikachit: HE SEEMS SO CONFUSED OH MY GOD POOR LEO

(gay)uanghong: NO JUST GO WITH IT

(gay)uanghong: ITS FUNNY JUST PLAY ALONG

pikachit: UR A MESS

(gay)uanghong: PLS

pikachit: ALRIGHT OKAY )

  
  


chickennugget: leoguang? 

pikachit: tht sounds like a reptile

chickennugget: omgsg ok true

pikachit: leoji probably 

(gay)uanghong: omg thats cute i like that

chickennugget: omg leoji pls thats actually adorable

Leo ♫: what is going on

katsukidon: leo dont u like leoji???

Leo♫: no?

Leo♫: i mean???

Leo♫: yeah???? I couldnt think of a better one??? But????

(gay)uanghong: its settled then!!! Thats the official ship name 

pikachit: brb gonna go write leoji fanfic

katsukidon: isnt that a bit weird

katsukidon: u know them irl

pikachit: think of it as….me using them as my muse

pikachit: theyre igniting my passion for writing

RussianTiger: barf

RussianTiger: stick to skating 

katsukidon: yuri why do i hear nickelback playing

pikachit: yuri is a nickelback fan omg

RussianTiger: alright fuck u guys nickelback are actually good idc what anyone says

RussianTiger: why is it memey and ##cool to hate on nickelback

RussianTiger: maybe i wanna listen to some music why does it matter to u wtf u still listen to the spice girls in 2016

katsukidon: ok but the spice girls are actually good

RussianTiger: nickelback are good

katsukidon: false

pikachit: so heres a story from a to z

Katsukidon: YOU WANNA GET WITH ME U GOTTA LISTEN CAREFULLY

pikachit: WE GOT YUURI IN THE PLACE WHO LIKES IN IN UR FACE

katsukidon: WE LEO LIKE GUANG WHO LIKES IT ON AN

Pikachit: EASY YURI DOESNT COME FOR FREE

katsukidon: (HES A REAL ANGSTY TEEN)

pikachit: AS AS FOR ME?

pikachit: AH YOULL SEE

katsukidon: SLAM YOUR BODY DOWN AND WIND IT ALL AROUND

pikachit: SLAM UR BODY DOWN AND WIND IT ALL AROUND

(gay)uanghong: guys tht doesnt even make sense

(gay)uanghong: ik ur quoting a song but u just added our names

pikachit: mate we didnt write the lyrics blame the spice girls

katsukidon: except i changed the line about yuri bc im not ##transphobic

RussianTiger: appreciated

RussianTiger: but u called me an angsty teen tho

pikachit: but u are an angsty teen

RussianTiger: why cant u guys be nice to me

(gay)uanghong: listen yuri i dont think ive ever seen you smile

(gay)uanghong: u cant blame us for calling u angsty

chickennugget: yuri D: smile :(((

chickennugget: are u sad?? :(((

katsukidon: hes just a wannabe emo kid

RussianTiger: this is why i dont smile

RussianTiger: i hate u all????

pikachit: im sry yuri i love u

RussianTiger: i dont want ur love

(gay)uanghong: rejected

pikachit: why wont anyone love me :((((

chickennugget: i love u !!!

pikachit: minami my boi ur so cute

chickennugget: :D<3

 

-

 

vitya: i cant believe i missed the conversation about dogs :(

pikachit: where were u

vitya: i took makkachin to the beach!!!

vitya: also i went christmas shopping

pikachit: OH SHIT ITS DECEMBER

katsukidon: did u get me anything xoxooxoxoxoxoxooxoxox

vitya: maybe

katsukidon: nO I WAS JOKING dont buy me anythin pls

katsukidon: i swear they dont celebrate christmas in russia

vitya: its kinda different than other places

vitya: but anyway I WANT ANOTHER DOG YUURI LETS GET ONE

katsukidon: DO U THINK MAMA WILL LET US

RussianTiger: shut up about dogs okay cats are better

pikachit: u started the dog conversation earlier shut ur mouth kid

(gay)uanghong: whats everyones fav breed of dog

vitya: POODLE

katsukidon: tbh same i love poodles

katsukidon: i also love german shepherds

pikachit: corgis r so cute

(gay)uanghong: these r all gd choices

(gay)uanghong: i like akita and shiba inus tbh but also?? Old english sheep dogs???? Have u SEEN THOSE???? THWYRE SO FLUFFY

Leo♫: my family have a boxer back in america

pikachit: ohmygdo a boXER SO CUTE

vitya: okay old english sheep dogs are cute too i want one tbh

katsukidon: lets get one

(gay)uanghong: pls do it i wld be round ur place 24/7 if u did

vitya: is makkachin not enough for u to wanna coMe over :(((

(gay)uanghong: nO PLS I LOVE MAKKACHIN HES A SWEET BOI WHO I LOVE

vitya: damn straight he is dont u forget it pal

RussianTiger: he scares my cat

vitya: thats not his fault :(( he just wants to play :(

chickennugget: ok idek most u of very well i only rly know phichit and ive been in this chat for like. 24 hours at most. But like

chickennugget: u guys r so pure?? and sweet??? today u just talk about dogs and compliment eachother?????? im shook????

(gay)uanghong: there is usually discourse ngl ur just here on a good day

pikachit: rt ur friendship goals tbh??? we ARE cute tbh

chickennugget: i envy ur friendship group

katsukidon: umm??? Mate????? Ur in this groupchat too ??? ur in this friendship group too now okay u have no right to refuse

pikachit: skatesquad means family, family means no one gets left behind

chickennugget: wtf im sobbing i am undeserving of this niceness

(gay)uanghong: noooo babie u r deserving idk u very well but ur so sweet pls we all love u

 

**_(gay)uanghong_ ** _ renamed the conversation  _ **_‘skatesquad means family’._ **

 

katsukidon: i love this family i love u all

RussianTiger: why do we have to be a family

pikachit: cmon yuri u love it

RussianTiger: i dont want that katsudon to be my dad

katsukidon: im ur mum actually

RussianTiger: ur a man

katsukidon: but i wanna be the mum

RussianTiger: alright alright fine

vitya: yuuri we can both be dads yknow 

vitya: #stopheteronormativity

katsukidon: but i wANT TO BE THE MUM 

vitya: okaY OKAY SORRY

pikachit: *yuuri violently mothers in the distance*

(gay)uanghong: *mothering intensifies*

chickennugget: yuuri

katsukidon: call me mum

Chickennugget: mum

katsukidon: yes?

RussianTiger: ur takign this way too far its getting weird

chickennugget: wld u be able to introduce me to everyone at the skating rink??

chickennugget: im a little anxious bc i dont rly know anyone 

chickennugget: but i know u guys now!!!so that makes me feel better!!!!!

katsukidon: of course!!!

pikachit: oh my god this is so good and pure my heart cant take it

pikachit: im getting cavities from how sweet this is

chickennugget: i worry ppl will make fun of me bc im short and look young and also my tooth

RussianTiger: ill beat them up if they do

chickennugget: omg my night in shining armour <3<3<3

pikachit: ;))))

(gay)uanghong: dw minami no one will be rude everyone is generally polite 

(gay)uanghong: and u have all of us guys here to beat any meanies up

Chickennugget: ur all so NICE <333

Pikachit: ily

(gay)uanghong: <3

katsukidon: <3

pikachit: <3

RussianTiger: stop

pikachit: send a heart yuri

RussianTiger: no

pikachit: its for support

pikachit: show minami ur here for him

RussianTiger: i already told him id beat up any bullies

pikachit: post a fucking heart yuri plisetsky or ill tell everyone about the thing we spoke about the other day

RussianTiger: okay fine

RussianTiger: <3

pikachit: good boy

RussianTiger: dont call me that

chickennugget: <33333 :D

katsukidon: what did u guys speak abotu the other day

katsukidon: u cant leave us hanging like this

pikachit: seeeecrets ;))))

katsukidon: why do u keep secrets from ur mother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok first off: thank u sm to everyone leaving such nice comments!!!! im sorry for not replying to many people, i get very overwhelmed by it but pls pls know that im so grateful for ur kind words and i read them all so pls dont think im being rude if i dont respond!!! <3
> 
> also, if anyone has any suggestions for anything id love to hear them!!! ive got a few things planned, but i need some stuff to fill in the gaps!! also shld i do any crossover?? like different characters from different things joining the gc for a chapter or smth?? i was thinking of having maybe some mystic messenger characters show up for a little bit, but i wanted to ask what you guys thought first!! <3  
> thank u all for ur support!!! :D <3


	6. drunk victor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright heres some ###shenanigans  
> this wasnt meant to be so long, this whole part was only meant to be like a tiny bit at the beginning of a chapter but......i ended up writing almost 2k words soOOOO OOPS HERES THAT BYE  
> (also tw for mentions of alcohol? and someone gets a bit drunk)

katsukidon: has anyone heard anything from victor

katsukidon: hes not answering his phone

RussianTiger: hes just out drinking with minako stop worrying

RussianTiger: its only 11pm he probably wont be home for at least another hour

katsukidon: he usually answers his phone though…

Leo ♫ : do u want me to try calling him?

katsukidon: no no its okay i think im just getting too worked up over nothing 

pikachit: yeah dont worry hes probably fine

RussianTiger: stop worrying

RussianTiger: i can hear u pacing around ur room

katsukidon: sorry sorry aaaaa

pikachit: try and get some sleep maybe?

katsukidon: i usually wait for him to get home in case he needs anything

RussianTiger: hes probably fine stop

RussianTiger: .. do u want me to come to ur room 

RussianTiger: we cld play mario kart or smth to take ur mind off it

RussianTiger: do u have a nintendo ds

katsukidon: thatd be nice thank u 

RussianTiger: ok

pikachit: wtf its so weird seeing yuri be nice to u

pikachit: didnt he kick u through a glass door when he first got to japan

katsukidon: he has a..

katsukidon: weird way of showing affection

Leo♫ : omg

pikachit: well u guys pls dont stay up too late u gotta rest up okay

katsukidon: i thought i was the mum of the chat shouldnt i be saying tht omg

pikachit: sometimes even the mum needs some looking after

katsukidon: okay okay

 

-

pikachit: are u guys okay?

RussianTiger: yeah 

RussianTiger: yuuri fell asleep so im back in my room now

Leo ♫: that boy is such a worry guts

pikachit: ik :(( 

RussianTiger: why arent u asleep???

pikachit: a social networking addict like myself doesnt need sleep

RussianTiger: ur an idiot

pikachit: what if i miss something crazy?!?!?!?

Leo ♫: sleep is for the weak

RussianTiger: go the fuck to sleep

pikachit: i cld say the same for u

RussianTiger: i AM. goodnight

pikachit: sleep well <3

 

-

 

vitya: gusy

vitya: hellooooooo

vitya: who ehre can drive

Leo ♫: victor are you okay?

vitya: im graet!!!!!

vitya: can u drive

Leo♫: yes?

Leo♫: has something happened??

Leo♫: do u need picking up?

Leo♫: where are you?

vitya: uhh

vitya: the ohter side ofhasetsu from yuuris hous

Leo♫: how did u get over there wtf

vitya: i took the train but nwo thers notrains

vitya: also ic anr bring it on the train its too big

Leo♫: whats too big

vitya: the sing

vitya: sigh

vitya: sign

Leo♫: the what???

Leo♫: where are you exactly???

vitya: near th piza hut by the shoppign mall

Leo♫: alright thats not far from my place

Leo♫: stay there, ill come get you and take you home okay?

vitya: thank yooooooooooooi!!!!! <3

 

-

 

RussianTiger: i heard a noise i think someones breaking in im spooked

RussianTiger: wait what

RussianTiger: i just read up wtf victor

RussianTiger: wait leo is tht u and victor

RussianTiger: whats making so much damn noise ur gonna wake the whole house up

-

Leo♫: sorry for waking u up ffff i tried to keep him quiet

RussianTiger: where are you?

Leo♫: in the living room im just about to leave

Leo♫: pls come here 

RussianTiger: whats wrong is victor okay

Leo♫: yeah idk where his room is and i didnt wanna just barge into a house that wasnt mine so hes sleeping on the floor in here oops

Leo♫: he didnt seem to mind tho he fell asleep as soon as he sat down

RussianTiger: what was all that noise

Leo♫: just come here

RussianTiger: okay okay ill see u in a second

 

-

 

pikachit: woah what the fuck happened last night

pikachit: see this is what i meant when i said i dont sleep bc ‘what if i miss smth crazy’

pikachit: i slept

pikachit: AND SOMETHING HAPPENED

(gay)uanghong: omg is victor alright do u think

Pikachit: probably?? 

pikachit: i cant believe leo went out at 2am to go get him and take him all the way across town omg

(gay)uanghong: friendship goals

pikachit: ur friendship goals is to get rly wasted and end up on the other side of town without a way of getting home and having to get someone to come get u

(gay)uanghong: it doesnt sound cool if u say it like that

RussianTiger: i hate victor

pikachit: what happened???????

(gay)uanghong: spill

RussianTiger: hes an actual dumbass ive never met a grown man this dense in my life

pikachit: fff what haPPENED

katsukidon: gd morngin guys im sleeeeepy

pikachit: yuuri read up

katsukidon: what okay

katsukidon: oh my god

katsukidon: brb im going to find victor

RussianTiger: hes still sleeping im sat in the living room making sure he doesnt die

RussianTiger: he might want some asprin when he wakes up if u got any

katsukidon: on it

pikachit: IS NO ONE GONNA TELL US WHAT HAPPENED?????

(gay)uanghong: its too early for thsi im going back to bed

pikachit: WAKE UP ITS DRAMA TIME

(gay)uanghong: its 6am why are any of u even awake

pikachit: force of habit bc of practice

(gay)uanghong: im going back to bed bye

pikachit: DONT LEAVE ME HERE

(gay)uanghong: bye 

pikachit: i hate u

(gay)uanghong: <3

pikachit: CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHATS GOING ON 

Leo♫: stop spamming the gc the noise woke me

Leo♫: ive had like 3 hours sleep let me sleep in peace

pikachit: whys ur phone on loud at night anyway

Leo♫: in case drunk russian men miss the train home, steal a road sign, and need me to pick their ass up and bring them home at 2am

pikachit: wait WHAT

pikachit: HE STOLE A ROAD SIGN

Leo♫: he wouldnt leave it either so we spent like 30 mins trying to get it into the back of my tiny ass car

pikachit: LIKE A FULL SIZED ROAD SIGN

Leo♫: YES

pikachit: WTFSHDSHED VICTOR WHAT THE FUC

Leo♫: he also cut his hand trying to get the sign down off the pole thing

pikachit: nights out with victor seem WILD FDHFJSJ

Leo♫: im sure it wldve been fun if i wasnt sober and half asleep

Leo♫: i still dont really know how he managed to get the sign down though??? those things r up pretty high

Leo♫: im kind of impressed tht he didnt get any more injuries than a cut to the hand tbh

pikachit: yuuri is gonna flip when he sees it

Leo♫: victors hand or the stop sign thats currently sitting on the floor in the livingroom?

pikachit: both

RussianTiger: he is currently doing that

Leo♫: what

RussianTiger: flipping

pikachit: omggdgs

RussianTiger: he saw the stop sign and started yelling at ME for it and then i showed him tht part in the gc when victor said smth about a sign not fitting in a train or smth

RussianTiger: and then he woke victor up and started yelling at HIM

pikachit: ogmdsh he rly is the mum of the group

RussianTiger: and then he gave him the water and asprin and saw tht his hand was all bloody

RussianTiger: hes currently yelling about that

pikachit: omg i wish i was there

RussianTiger: yuuribeingamother.mp3

RussianTiger: im just sat awkwardly in the corner whilst hes shouting so here u go

Leo♫: omg is tht a file of him shouting

pikachit: OMG YUURI IS SCARY WHEN HE SHOUTS IM SCARED

pikachit: I HOPE HE NEVER YELLS AT ME

Leo♫: im glad he didnt wake up last night when i brought him home omg i wldve cried if he yelled at me

RussianTiger: update now hes dressing victors bloody hand with bandages

RussianTiger: hes still mad but hes not yelling anymore

pikachit: i cant believe he stole a fucking stop sign lmao

pikachit: what is he gonna do with it omgjdh ?????????

katsukidon: this isnt funny 

katsukidon: he STOLE. A SIGN.

katsukidon: and HES INJURED. WHAT PART OF THIS IS FUNNY

katsukidon: leo why did you let him take the sign????

Leo♫: hey dont blame me

Leo♫: he refused to get in the car if he couldnt take the sign

Leo♫: if it werent for me he would probably be passed out somewhere in the streets on the other side of town

katsukidon: sorry sorry i know its not your fault

katsukidon: sorry for getting pissy

katsukidon: thank you for getting him

katsukidon: and for keeping him safe

Leo♫: its alright man dw about it its the least i cld do

pikachit: ok but what are u gonna do with the sign

katsukidon: i have no idea

katsukidon: why did he even want it ???? like ????? i dont understand

RussianTiger: tbh it does look pretty cool

RussianTiger: itd look cool hanging on the wall or smth

Leo♫: ##edgy

katsukidon: yuri why did u recoRD ME YELLING AT VICTOR

RussianTiger: it was funny lol

pikachit: more like SCARY

pikachit: mama yuuri pls dont yell at me ever

katsukidon: dont pull any dumb shenanigans like this and i wont have to

pikachit: ill behave

pikachit: im a gd boy 

RussianTiger: stop its getting weird

pikachit: ok ok sorry

 

-

 

vitya: hi

pikachit: victor!!!!!!! Hello

pikachit: how r u feeling?

vitya: like death

vitya: im russian im not supposed to get hungover this bad

vitya: why does my head feel like its been stabbed 57 times with a blunt knife

Leo♫: tbh i expected nothing less

Leo♫: u were wankered last night

(gay)uanghong: omg hi im back

(gay)uangong: brb lemme read the ##drama

pikachit: what r u gonna do with the sign

vitya: i have no idea honestly???

Leo♫: how did you even get it down?

vitya: i dont remember getting it at all

vitya: i just remember minako saying she was going home

Vitya: and then me having another drink

vitya: and then i woke up with yuuri yelling at me

katsukidon: because ur an idiot

vitya: im sorry baby :((

pikachit: wtf i wanna go drinking with victor he seems like the life of the party

katsukidon: NO MORE ALCOHOL

(gay)uanghong: good luck with that

vitya: tbh with this headache im feelin rn im down for no alcohol

(gay)uanghong: u wont be saying tht next time minako offers u a drink

vitya: touche

katsukidon: NO. MORE. ALCOLHOL.

katsukidon: not for a while anyway

katsukidon: not that much

pikachit: mama yuuri pls let me drink with victor

katsukidon: only under supervision

(gay)uanghong: hes not a child

Katsukidon: do u rly think i can trust him to drink alone when that happened???

pikachit: it cldve been so much worse

pikachit: at least he didnt get into a fight

katsukidon: ughhhhh

katsukidon: anyway im goin to make soup gdbye

vitya: can i have some pls

katsukidon: get it urself

vitya: :((( i said im sorryyyyy

vitya: im illll :((( take care of meeeee :((((((((

katsukidon: .

katsukidon: what flavour do u want

(gay)uanghong: lol yuuris whipped

vitya: tomato pls <3 love u

katsukidon:  ://///

 

-

  
chickennugget: okay woah i missed a lot wtf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was the thing tht made me think to write this fic ngl like i thought about what if victor got smashed and stole a stop sign and i wanted to write it and then i thought about doing it as a chat log sort of thing and then......this fic oops


	7. cotton eyed joe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok this whole fic is way gayer than i intended it to be??? theres so much crushing and gay????? im lowkey projecting myself onto these characters tho tbh ooPS  
> anyway!! heres more of this!! its a bit of a boring chapter oops but feat a little bit of seung-gil!!!!

pikachit: who even was cotton eyed joe tho

Leo ♫: im gonna give u two seconds to shut the fuck up and go to bed

(gay)uanghong: i just googled it

(gay)uanghong: “ The act of a man having his urethra swabbed by a qtip to test for S.T.D.s Or just another name for S.T.D.s because you have to get the swabing.

Term made most famous by Sweedish tecno/folk/bluegrass band Rednex with there verson of the song Cotton Eye Joe in 1994. “If it hadnt been for cotton eye joe I’d been married a long time ago. Where did you come from where did you go?” “Where did you come from cotton eye joe?” 

pikachit: holy shit

pikachit: i. Wasnt expecting that

Leo ♫: both of you go to bed 

pikachit: dont pretend uve never wondered ‘who’ cotton eyed joe was

Leo♫: its 1:43am 

Leo♫: dont complain to me when u two are tired at practice and flub all ur jumps

(gay)uanghong: ur mean leo

(gay)uanghong: its just some fun :(

pikachit: u shld be the dad instead of victor

Leo♫: shut up or im removing u both from the chat

pikachit: ur boring

 

-

 

katsukidon: yknow when i woke up this morning i wasnt expecting to hear tht cotton eyed joe was actually about stds

katsukidon: but there u go , u learn smth new every day

pikachit: honestly??? i feel lied to

pikachit: im nevr gonna be able to listen to tht song again

chickennugget: gd morning everyone !!

katsukidon: mornin!!!!

pikachit: MINAMIIIIII

pikachit: r u coming to practice today??

chickennugget: yeah!!! Im terrified D:

pikachit: dont be !! itll be fun !!!!

chickennugget: ff can u meet me outside and walk in with me i dnt wanna go in alone :(

pikachit: ofc <3

chickennugget: ily <3

RussianTiger: why r u all so cringey and soft

chickennugget: :(

pikachit: loving and supporting ur friends isnt cringey 

RussianTiger: i shldve picked a full contact sport

RussianTiger: i cnt b dealing w all ur pansy asses

RussianTiger: im becoming a rugby player

katsukidon: good luck with that

pikachit: yuri ur 5ft4 and stick thin and u look like a fairy

pikachit: do u rly think u cld survive full contact sports

katsukidon: youd probably get snapped in half within the first 2 minutes of u playing

RussianTiger: …..im not gonna pretend ur wrong

RussianTiger: but just u wait ok when i start T im gna be buff as fuc ill crush all of u with my bare hands

chickennugget: t??

katsukidon: testosterone

katsukidon: ##manlymanjuice

RussianTiger: im already a manly man shut ur mouth katsudon

katsukidon: u r a manly man ff i didnt mean it like tht pls im sorry

RussianTiger: ik its okay

pikachit: a very pretty manly man

RussianTiger: stop hitting on me 

pikachit: never

vitya: ur all gonna be late to practice if u keep arguing in this chat all morning!!~

vitya: and ill work u all extra hard till ur feet r numb if ur late!!!~

katsukidon: alright alright we’re goin 

pikachit: ur cruel victor

vitya: :)<3

 

-

 

**_pikachit_ ** _ added  _ **_seung-gillee_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

pikachit: hi i told seung gil id add him to the chat <3

katsukidon: yo bro

seung-gillee: hi

chickennugget: hello im minami!!!!!!

seung-gillee: were you the little new kid today

chickennugget: im not a kid!!!! :( im 17!!!!!

seung-gillee: oh

pikachit: this chat can get a bit weird so dont feel pressured to always talk in it!!

pikachit: feel free to mute it !!!

pikachit: but u can talk with us anytime!!!

seung-gillee: thanks

pikachit: ^_^<3

(gay)uanghong: who is he in the family

chickennugget: ooooooo lets think

katsukidon: hmmm

katsukidon: could HE be the grandpa?

vitya: i think georgi should be the grandpa

pikachit: georgi isnt in this chat victor

vitya: ok but the grandpa is reserved for if he ever is added

katsukidon: well whos seung gil then

pikachit: the aunt to my uncle <3

(gay)uanghong: thats gay

pikachit: <3 <3 <3

(gay)uanghong: tbh i wldnt be suprised if yuri grew up to be like him

RussianTiger: im nothing like him

pikachit: eh u kinda are

RussianTiger: no

(gay)uanghong: ur both angsty emos

RussianTiger: no the differrence between us is i actually have emotions 

(gay)uanghong: omfg rekt

pikachit: dont be mean to him he has emotions

katsukidon: when have u ever cared about the ##banter going too far in this gc 

pikachit: i jst dont wnt him to feel attacked :(

seung-gillee: i dont care

RussianTiger: see what i fucken mean

(gay)uanghong: omghsfd

  
  


_ (to  _ **_‘SECRET CHAT FOR SECRETS’_ ** _ : _

(gay)uanghong: stop being fucking gay in tje gc we get it u think hes cute

pikachit: IS IT THAT OBVIOUS

(gay)uanghong: ur so obvious its embarrassing

pikachit: i doNT WANNA BE MEAN TO HIM THO

katsukidon: breaking news: there is a middle ground between being a gay loser with a crush, and being an asshole

pikachit: idk how to do that

pikachit: my only two modes are ‘cringey teenage girl with a crush’ and ‘dickhead’

katsukidon: ur not tht much of a dickhead

pikachit: i make fun of my friends tho as a form of affection

(gay)uanghong: then ur just a sadist

pikachit: omG NOOOO

katsukidon: phichit is a sadist #confirmed

pikachit: u cant talk mate did u forget that we all found out ur a masochist 

(gay)uanghong: LMAO

katsukidon: U SAID WE WOULDNT TALK ABOUT THAT AGAIN

pikachit: u brought this upon urself

katsukidon: i take it back, u are a dickhead

(gay)uanghong: why do u even like him tho

(gay)uanghong: seung-gil i mean

pikachit: hes very pretty

katsukidon: gay

pikachit: r u telling me he isnt pretty

katsukidon: he wld be prettier if he smiled

pikachit: OMG 

pikachit: IM GNA MAKE IT MY MISSION TO GET HIM TO SMILE

(gay)uanghong: ur sucha fuckign loser with a dumb crush

pikachit: says u

pikachit: when u gonna ask leo over anyway

(gay)uanghong: oH SHIT YEA 

(gay)uanghong: ok its friday so ill ask him to stay tonight??

katsukidon: why are u both so gay

(gay)uanghong: ur dating a man

katsukidon: shut up

pikachit: gOOD LUCK GUANG HONG <333

(gay)uanghong: THANK U <3 )

  
  


_ (Private Message:  _ **_(gay)uanghong_ ** _ and  _ **_Leo♫_ ** _ : _

(gay)uanghong: leooooooo

(gay)uanghong: leoooo kuuuuuuuunnnnnn <333

(gay)uanghong: leeeeoooo reply to meeee its important

Leo♫: im here omg whats up

(gay)uanghong: do u wanna come over tonight 

(gay)uanghong: we can play overwatch or smth and order takeout

Leo♫: u eat too much takeout how r u so tiny

(gay)uanghong: im blessed w a quick metabolism<3

(gay)uanghong: is tht a yes tho

Leo♫: ofc

Leo♫: ok but how about instead of overwatch….

Leo♫: i bring final fantasy xv with me

Leo♫: u have a ps4 right

(gay)uanghong: OMG U HAVE THE NEW FF WTFGDSG BRING IT BRING IT

(gay)uanghong: I NEED IT BUT I DONT HAE ENOUGH MONEY RN

Leo♫: thts why i said id bring it omg

(gay)uanghong: UR  THE BEST

(gay)uanghong: IS IT GOOD

Leo♫: ive only played like 20 mins of it so far but its rly good so far ur gna love it

(gay)uanghong: EXCITIGN

Leo♫: ill be over laterrrr is like 6 okay? I got errands to run

(gay)uanghong: yea thts gd 

(gay)uanghong: txt me when ur on ur way

Leo♫: will do <3

 

-

 

_ (to  _ **_‘SECRET CHAT FOR SECRETS’_ ** :

(gay)uanghong: screenshot.jpg

(gay)uanghong: FFF ITS HAPPENING GUYS IM SCARED

pikachit: omg i forgot ffxv came out the other day

katsukidon: DONT BE SCARED ITLL BE OKAY

pikachit: ok but u gotta like live-text us everything tht happens

(gay)uanghong: OFC

(gay)uanghong: IM GNA NEED U GUYS FOR MORAL SUPPORT

 

**_katsukidon_ ** _ renamed the chat  _ **_‘24/7 moral support’._ **

 

(gay)uanghong: U GUYS R THE REAL MVPS

katsukidon: IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS IM GNA BE WAITING BY MY PHONE ALL EVENING FOR UR MESSAGES

katsukidon: can i tell vitya and yuri so theyre not confused as to why im always checking my phone

(gay)uanghong: YEA IF U WANT

pikachit: fffffFFFFF GOOD LUCK BAB

(gay)uanghong: THANK UUUUUUUUUUUUU

 

-

 

_ (Private Message:  _ **_Leo♫_ ** _ and  _ **_(gay)uanghong_ ** _ : _

Leo♫: im omw, ill be abt 15 mins!!!

(gay)uanghong: okay see u sooooon!!!!!!!!! :D<3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ##cliffhanger omg lmao  
> but yea see what i mean theyre all gay they all fancy eachother i love it  
> i rly love seung gil hes rly pretty i want to look after him and cuddle him  
> also can u tell i wanna play final fantasy xv lol im so mad i cant afford a ps4


	8. will u be my boyfriend, or is this too cheesy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which guang hong writes the title of this chapter on a pizza box and gives it to leo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED IN THREE DAYS FFF i was updating twice daily and then i just. didnt for three days ffFF SORRY i was home alone all weekend so i thought i wldve had time to write but i was very stressed out caring for my dog alone so soRRY PLS FORGIVE ME so yea leo is zoomin 2 guang hongs house for some final fantasy and pizza cool cool ok bye
> 
> EDIT: SOMEONE DREW ART FOR THE SELFIES GUANG HONG SENDS PLS LOOK AT IT ITS SO CUTE IM SHOOK

_(To:_ **_‘24/7 moral support’_ **

 

(gay)uanghong: HES ON HIS WAY

(gay)uanghong: I FEEL LIKE IM GONNA COUGH UP MY LUNGS IM SO SCARED

katsukidon: DONT BE SCARED ITS OKAY FDGSFG

pikachit: WHY R U EVEN SCARED I DONT UNDERTSNAD

pikachit: U TELL HIM SHIT LIKE ‘U CAN CHOKE ME IF U WANT’ AND ‘ITS A SHAME UR NOT INTO KINKY STUFF’ BUT U CANT SAY ‘UR PRETTY AND I WANNA DATE U’

pikachit: UR A WEIRD KID

(gay)uanghong: FHDSDKS SHH IM A SEXUALLY PROMISCUOUS BOY ITS IN MY NATURE TO TALK ABOUT THT STUFF ITS NOT A SUPRISE TO ANYONE ANYMORE

(gay)uanghong: FEELINGS ON THE OTHER HAND

(gay)uanghong: IDK WHAT TO DO ABOUT THOSE

katsukidon: its weird to think ur 6 years younger than me and im still shy talking about sex  and its normal for u to make sex jokes

(gay)uanghong: who said they were jokes

(gay)uanghong: im bein serious leo cld choke me if he wanted to and i would encourage it

katsukidon: guang hong is a masochist

(gay)uanghong: hell yea i am

pikachit: guang hong ur seventeen thats illegal

(gay)uanghong: this is japan, bitch

(gay)uanghong: i can fuck who i want

(gay)uanghong: laws cant stop me from gettin that dick

katsukidon: holy shit

pikachit: ur inability to talk about ur feelings can stop u tho

(gay)uanghong: i thought this chat was for MORAL SUPPORT WHY R U BEIGN MEAN TO ME

katsukidon: it IS FOR MORAL SUPPORT WE SUPPORT U

pikachit: FFFF IM SORRY

(gay)uanghong: u better be  )

 

 _(Private Message:_ **_Leo_ ** **_♫_ ** _and_ **_(gay)uanghong_ ** _:_

 

Leo♫: im here !!

(gay)uanghong: the doors open come in im in my room and i cba to get up and open the door

Leo♫: lazy ass

 

 _(To:_ **_‘24/7 moral support’_ ** _:_

 

(gay)uanghong: HES HERE HES HEREHEYRFTGSHJ

katsukidon: STAY CALM ITS OKAY

(gay)uanghong: IM SHITITIGN MYSELF MY MIND IS SUDDENLY BLANK IDK WHAT IM DOIGN I CANT RMEMEBER MY NAME

pikachit: GUANG HONG CALM DOWN

pikachit: RUN THROUGH WHAT UR GONNA DO SO U KNOW UR PLANS AND R CALM

(gay)uanghong: OK

(gay)uanghong: OK WE R GONNA PLAY FINAL FANTASY AND. AND ALSO I FOUND AN ILLEGAL COPY OF FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM ONLINE SO WE MIGHT WATCH THAT

katsukidon: a great choice of film tbh i love me some harry potter

(gay)uanghong: THEN .LATER WE ORDER PIZZA?

pikachit: YES GOOD

pikachit: THEN WHAT R U GONNA DO W THE PIZZA

(gay)uanghong: UHH IM GNA SNEAK AWAY AND WRITE ON THE BOX BEFORE I GIVE HIM IT

pikachit: GOOD BOY SEE UR GONNA BE FINE U KNOW WHAT UR DOING

(gay)uanhgong: OK I GTG H ES GNA ASK WHO IM TEXTING AND IM A SHIT LIAR

katsukidon: goOD LUCK just go w the flow dont overthink it ur gonna be fine

 

-

 

pikachit: HOW R THINGS GOING

(gay)uanghong: aLRIGHT  IM SAT WATCHING HIM PLAY FF BC HES BETTER AT IT THAN ME

katsukidon: how can someone be bad at ff

(gay)uanghong: adhd fam its difficult for me to focus on it

katsukidon: fair

pikachit: HAVE U SMOOOOOOCHED YET

(gay)uanghong: HES ONLY BEEN HERE AN HOUR BRO

(gay)uanghong: bUT WE R IN A SORTA CUDDLY POSITION

katsukidon: CUTEEEE

(gay)uanghong: hes half-laying against the beds headboard bc the tv is at the end of my bed and im layin  w my head on his tummy

pikachit: THATS FUCKIN GAY MATE

(gay)uanghong: IKR IM SHOOK I THOUGHT HE WLDVE PUSHED ME OFF

(gay)uanghong: HE STROKED MY HAIR A MINUTE AGO WHILST HE WAS JUST PRESSING THROUGH DIALOG ON THE GAME

katsukidon: IM CRYIGN WHY R U GUYS SO CUTE

(gay)uanghong: i have never been so gay in my entire life

(gay)uanghong: anYWAY WE ABOUT TO ORDER PIZZA IM GNA STAB MYSELF IN THE NOSE

pikachit: DONT STAB URSELF JUST ORDER THE PIZZA AND KISS THE CUTE BOY ON UR BED

(gay)uanghong: aaaAAAAAAAA OK BYE

 

-

 

(gay)uanghong: thE PIZZAS HERE IM SHAKIGN

pikachit: fuCK OK WHATS HAPPENIGN

(gay)uanghong: im in the kitchen rn i told leo to stay upstairs whilst i went to the door to get the food and also plates

(gay)uanhong: i just wrote on the inside of the box im sobbgifnggtndh im gonna DIE

katsukidon: this is so cheesy and cute im cryin

pikachit: yuuri was tht supposed to be a joke bc its pizza bc i hate to break it to u but guang hong literally wrote tht word on the box

katsukidon: omg no i didnt even mean tht fshdsv

(gay)uanghong: oK OK IM . GOING NOW WISH ME LUCK IF I DONT COME BACK JUST ASSUME HE KILLED ME WITH HIS HETEROSEXUAL HANDS

pikachit: hes gay but okay

katsukidon: GOOD LUCKLLKCKDJFHJKSFHGHK

pikachit: REPORT BACK ASAP

pikachit: omg im worrried for him idek why im worried bc like i kNOW ITS GONNA GO WELL BUT FDGHJDG

katsukidon: i understand pls i am ##worry

pikachit: idk wHY im so shook tbh theyre pretty much already married

Katsukidon: tbh tru

pikachit: omg wait do u know about yuris crush

katsukidon: yuRI HAS A CRUSH WTF I THOUHT HE WAS INCAPABLE OF EXPERIENCING EMOTIONS SUCH AS LOVE

pikachit: fSFDGHSJ

pikachit: YEA HE FANCIES THE NEW KID MINAMI

pikachit: YURI MESSAGED ME BC I POSTED A SELFIE W HIM ON INSTA AND HE WAS LIKE YO WHOS THT CUTIE

katsukidon: omHFGSHD thats so cute wtf can we set them up

pikachit: YES

pikachit: why is our whole friendship group so lovey dovey and gay tho

pikachit: theres u and victor, guang and leo r probably fucking as we speak, and yuri has a crush on chicken nugget boi

katsukidon: dont forget ur lil crush on seung gil ;))))

pikachit: ITS NOT A CRUSH

pikachit: HES JUST PRETTY

pikachit: AND HE HAS A NICE VOICE

pikachit: AND NICE HANDS

pikachit: AND NICE EYES

pikachit: AND PRETTY LIPS

pikachit: AND HE LOOKS BEAUTIFUL WHEN HE SKATES

katsukidon: phichit

pikachit: fuck i think im gay

katsukidon: yeah no shit honey

katsukidon: speaking of gay

katsukidon: it has been st least 5 minutes since guang hong left where is he

pikachit: probably gettin that d ;)))))

katsukidon: i think at least he wld tell us how it went before tht

pikachit: idk man hes been wanting to sit on leos dick for like ever i dont think he wld wanna wait any longer than he had to

katsukidon: do u haVE TO BE SO VULGAR

(gay)uanghong: HE CRIED

(gay)uanghong: IM CRYGIN HES CRYGIJN THER ARE TEARS IM S CHJS

Pikachit: WHY R U CFYGIN WHATS WRONG WHAT HAPPENED

(gay)uanghong: ODJHK OK SSO

(gay)uanghong: I CAME BACK UPSTAIRS AND HE WAS SAT ON THE EDGE OF YM BED ADN I HANDED HIM THE BOX AND THEN I WENT TO GO SHUT MY DOOR CB I CLDNT WITH ALL THE STUFF IN MY HANDS

(gay)uanghong: and i TURN BACK AROUND AND HES CRYING?????????????????

(gay)uanghong: HES SAT W THE BOX OPEN ON HIS LAP AND HIS FACE IN HIS HANDS AND HES CRYIGN AND IM LIKE SHHHIT I FUCKT UP OH GOD

pikachit: oH NO WTF

(gay)uanghong: SO IM STOOD THERE IN FRONT OF HIM LIKE . UHHH

(gay)uanghong: AND HE LOOKS UP AND HES SMILING EVEN THO HES CRYIGN

(gay)uanghong: AND HE FUCKGIN. SAYS SOEMTHUGN THAT BREAKS MY HE ART

(gay)uanghong: HE SAID ‘I THOUGHT ALL THIS TIME U WERE FLIRTING THT YOU WERE JUST MAKING FUN OF ME AND YOU DIDNT LIKE ME AT ALL LIKE THAT AND IT WAS JUST A JOKE’

katsukidon: OMG NOOOO THTAS SO SAD IM CRY

(gay)uanghong: AND I START FREAKING TF OUT LIKE ‘NONONO NO I REALLY LIKE YOU IM NOT GD AT EMOTIONS SO I STICK TO FLIRTY STUFF I REALLY LIKE U’ AND SHIT LIKE THAT

(gay)uanghong: AND HE MOVED THE PIZZA ONTO MY BEDSIDE TABLE AND STANDS UP AND HE FUCKIGN. PICKS ME UP BRIDAL STYLE AND TWIRLS AROUND AND IM LIKE YELLIGN

pikachit: THIS IS SO FUCKGIN CUTE AN GAY WTF NEED ME A MAN LIKE LEO

(gay)uanghong: AND THEN HE SAT BACK DOWN ON MY BED BUT STILL HELD ME SO NOW IM SAT IN HIS LAP AND WE R EATIN THE PIZZA AND IM CRYIGN IM SODHFJSD

pikachit: WTFJSWBDJ IM SO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA MY BOYS IMS OBIGJ

katsukidon: THSI SI SO CUTE IM SHOOK I

(gay)uanghong: [ boyfriendswtf.jpg ](http://norancia.tumblr.com/post/154946993612/gayuanghong-and-then-he-sat-back-down-on-my-bed)

pikachit: WTF U GUYS R SO GAY AND CUTE IM SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT

katsukidon: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

(gay)uanghong: [ boYFRIENDSSSSS.jpg ](http://norancia.tumblr.com/post/154946993612/gayuanghong-and-then-he-sat-back-down-on-my-bed)

pikachit: WTF HES KISSIN UR SHOULDER THTS SO CUTE

katsukidon: stay safe have u got any condoms

(gay)uanghong: fFDHDSG ITS NOT LIKE THT HES JUST GIVIN A PECK FOR THE PHOTO

pikachit: suuuuuuuuuure ;););))))

(gay)uanghong: we haveNT EVEN KISSED ON THE LIPS YET

pikachit: WHY THE FUCK NOT

(gay)uanghong: phichit its been approx 6 minutes since we became boyfriends cut us some slack

katsukidon: why r u talking to us instead of ur new boyfriend ;)) go on pay him some attention

(gay)uanghong: alrighr alrighT  )

  


-

 

 _(to: ‘_ **_skatesquad means family’_ ** _:_

 

pikachit: guang hong and leo are fucking

Leo♫: this is incorrect

pikachit: ...why arent u fucking

Leo♫: ……..im playing ff

katsukidon: phICHIT STOP PRESSURING THEM THEYRE NEWLYWEDS

(gay)uanghong: WE ARENT MARRIED

katsukidon: newlygays

(gay)uanghong: oh honey ive always been gay this isnt new

Chickennugget: whats happening here?? :o

pikachit: guang hong asked leo out and now theyre boyfriends how cute

chickennugget: but werent they already dating??

(gay)uanghong: omfgdhjf no pls the other day i was joking when i said tht  omg i cldnt pass up the opportunity to be a flirt

Leo♫: thts not flirting u got me confused as fuck

chickennugget: well!!!!u guys r cute anyway!!!!!!! :D

RussianTiger: wow finally

RussianTiger: u guys have been eye fucking eachother across the ring fr the past like. forever

pikachit: fGSFDHJASG TRUUUU

pikachit: omg wait leo look at this

pikachit: [ screenshot;).jpg ](http://image.prntscr.com/image/ab293e1472bd488c9281b4fddf57c871.png)

Katsukidon: PHCIHIT

(gay)uanghong: WHAT THE FUCK MAN WHY R U DOIGN THIS

pikachit: to embarrass u ;)

Leo♫: oh my god

(gay)uanghong: I WAS JOKING . PLS

pikachit: suuuuuure u were ;)))

Leo♫: … were u joking rly?

(gay)uanghong: ….

katsukidon: holy shit

RussianTiger: get a fucking room

Katsukidon: why r yall texting ur next to each other

(gay)uanghong: actually im in his lap

RussianTiger: why is that information that we need to know

Leo♫: …..do u want me to do tht

(gay)uanghong: now?!?

Leo♫: no i meant generally

Leo♫: whenever idk

(gay)uanghong: … i have the best boyfriend ever

katsukidon: GUYS JUST TALK IRL THERE R CHILDREN PRESENT WHO DONT WANNA KNOW ABOUT UR SEX LIFE

pikachit: i, for one, want to know everything about their sex life

katsukidon: thats bc ur a nosy little shit

pikachit: tru

Leo♫: okaY sorry fff bye

katsukidon: be good

katsukidon: and if u cant be good, name the baby after me ;)))

 

-

 

 _(Private Message:_ **_vitya_ ** _and_ **_Leo♫_ ** _:_

 

vitya: so.

vitya: leo.

Leo♫: ?? yes?

vitya: ik u and guang hong got together yesterday and im super thrilled.

Leo♫:??????? why r u using ‘.’ its not like u

vitya: he just came over to yu-topia to hang out w yuuri, yuri and me.

Leo♫: okay????

vitya: leo.

vitya: wanna explain to me

vitya: why his voice is raspy and why hes got little marks on his neck??

Leo♫: ……...i have to go suddenly

vitya: no u dont

vitya: why dont u indulge me

vitya: why does ur boyfriend look and sound like hes been…….choked?

Leo♫: …..

Leo♫ **:** yo no hablo inglés

vitya: smh

Leo♫: hE ASKED ME TO OKAY READ THE GC LOOK AT THE SCREENSHOT PHICHIT SENT

Leo♫: IT WASNT VIOLENCE OK

vitya: omg no i KNOW. im just saying

vitya: its a good thing hes not got any competitions coming up because otherwise i wouldve kicked your ass for roughing him up

Leo♫: iM SORRY

vitya: no ur not

vitya: and thats okay ;)) jst be careful.

vitya: also when ur doing it, its best to press at the sides of their neck with ur fingers and thumb rather than pushing at the front of their throat

vitya: that way ur pushing on the veins and it slows the blood flow, making the feeling of light headedness without possibly damaging their throat

vitya: and alternate between soft and more firm grips so tht the blood is till flowing and they dont pass out

Leo♫:.....yknow when i woke up this morning i didnt think that id be getting advice on how to safely choke someone sexually from you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only practice safe sexual choking, my dudes


	9. the skatesquad groupchat fanfiction but every time i upload i forget to proof read so theres always typos and mistakes but i cba to ever fix them so this whole fic is just a mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> theyre all so cute and supportive of eachother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didnt mean for this whole fic to get so LEWD FDHSFGHJSFGDH BUT to make up for it i added some memes and also some asexuality representation bc i love my ace babies <33

vitya:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSKAZVuz2VM ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSKAZVuz2VM)

vitya: look at this meme

RussianTiger: what is tht i dont wanna click it its probably porn knowing u

vitya: okay 1) thats obviously a youtube link and u cant put porn on youtube

vitya: and 2) its the bee movie trailer but every time it says bee it gets faster

RussianTiger: why are u like this

katsukidon: ok but look at this one

katsukidon:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVvSGBsRfgI ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVvSGBsRfgI)

vitya: omG THEIR FACES

Leo ♫: have u guys seen the lazytown ones

katsukidon: yES OMG

Leo♫:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4S5QnK-MD94 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4S5QnK-MD94) crank dat soulja boi

vitya: OMG I LOVE THESE

(gay)uanghong: if u guys r gonna meme u gotta go all out

(gay)uanghong: that shit is boring, u gotta find the ones that r like. hella complicated

vitya: link me

katsukidon: honestly bless the ppl that put their time and effort into these 

RussianTiger: its a waste of time and effort

katsukidon: r u tellin me u didnt find that lazyown soulja boy one tht leo sent at least a little bit funny

RussianTiger: … maybe i laughed once

(gay)uanghong: heres a fav of mine

(gay)uanghong:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EePY6-gIcUE&t=111s ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EePY6-gIcUE&t=111s)

vitya: thank u sm im gna be watching these all day tbh

katsukidon: no ur not we got practice  cmon get ready 

Leo♫: jesus christ guang hong that gets LOUD AS SHIT MY EARS HURT

(gay)uanghong: thats the price u pay for good quality memes, my guy

 

-

 

Pikachit: tbh seung-gil cld get it

pikachit: did u see him today at practice holy shit im gay hes so hot

pikachit: if i had a dick i wldve popped a boner probably

pikachit: he cld step on me and i wld say thank u

katsukidon: uHH PHICHIT

pikachut: LSITEN HES HOT OKAY

katsukidon: FFFF UM PHICHIT

pikachit: DONT JUDGE ME WTF U AND GUANG HONG R ALLOWED TO BE MASOCHISTS BUT I CANT SAY THT I WLDNT MIND IF SEUNG-GILL STEPPED ON ME

pikachit: FUCK U YUURI

RussianTiger: jesus christ

katsukidon: NO NO NO PHICHIT ITS NOT THAT

katsukidon: ITS UM

Leo♫: omg phichit holy shit

pikachit: WHATS WRONG

seung-gillee: ………

Leo♫: oh my god oh my god oh my god

seung-gillee: ….. Thanks? I think?

pikachit: wait what

pikachit: shit

Pikachit: NONONONO NO

pikachit: NO FUCK WAFDT TE FUCK NO NO

pikachit: I DIIDNDNT MEAN THSI

katsukidon: ccalm down fff itll be alrigh

pikachit: I THGOUGHT I WAS SENDIGNTHIS TO THE GC W JUST ME YUURI ND GUANGHGONG FUCK

pikachit: iM OS FUCKGIN EMBARARSED IM SOR I CAN NEVER SHWO UP TO PRACITICE AGAIN IMMOVIGN BAKC TO THAILAND BYE

 

**_pikachit_ ** _ left the conversation. _

 

Leo♫: oh my godddddd i cant beLIEVE THSI

katsukidon: seung gil r u there still

seung-gillee: yeah 

seung-gillee: i dont know why hes so embarrassed it was just a mistake he was probably joking anyway

katsukidon: tbh i dont think he was joking omghsfg but im glad ur chill w this 

Leo♫: add him back

 

**_katsukidon_ ** _ added  _ **_pikachit_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

katsukidon: u cant run away from ur problems

Leo♫: u must face them head on

pikachit: i want to fucking die im so sorry seung-gil

seung-gillee: its okay

RussianTiger: why r u all such messes 

katsukidon: says u mate

pikachit: im sO EMBARRASFED I WANNA DIE???

 

_ (‘ _ **_pikachit_ ** _ ’ changed their screenname to ‘ _ **_a fucking gay idiot_ ** _ ’.) _

 

katsukidon: omg no pls ur not an idiot it was a mistake

a fucking gay idiot: AN IDIOTIC MISTAKE 

a fucking gay idiot: im quitting skating im moving back to thailand im changign my name to phillipe rodriguez again

Leo♫: omg change ur screen name back

a fucking gay idiot: NO THIS REPRESENTS ME

seung-gillee: phichit it is okay stop it

seung-gillee: you’re pretty good looking too

katsukidon: omfg this isnt how i thought this would go

a fucking gay idiot: noooo u dont have to say tht to make me feel better pls its okay for u to hate me rn or think im grOSS

seung-gillee: why would i hate you

a fucking gay idiot: i literally said i wouldve gotten a boner over u if tht was something my body was capable of doing

seung-gillee: ill take it as a compliment

Leo♫: oh my ffhdjkdgh

 

**_RussianTiger_ ** _ renamed the conversation  _ **_‘skatesquad but every time someone says something gay i get one step closer to ending my own life’_ ** _. _

 

Leo♫: nice meme yuri

RussianTiger: u guys make me wanna die

a fucking gay idiot: thats emo

a fucking gay idiot: (wake me up)

(gay)uanghong: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

a fucking gay idiot: (cant wake up)

(gay)uanghong: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

a fucking gay idiot: SAVE MEEEE

(gay)uanghong: CALL MY NAME AND SAVE ME FROM THE DARK

katsukidon: hello guang ur here u missed the #beef

(gay)uanghong: hi i was summoned by the memes

(gay)uanghong: omg phichit look at u pullin dudes by accidentally telling them u wld fuck them

a fucking gay idiot: i dIDNT PULL

Leo♫: u kinda did

seung-gillee: what does pull mean

(gay)uanghong: omg hi

(gay)uanghong: its like. a word to describe successfully attracting a person so much so tht u cld probably kiss/fuck them and it wouldnt seem out of the blue bc ur both into eachother

a fucking gay idiot: HES NOT INTO ME

Leo♫: not yet ;)))))

katsukidon: was that in intercourse joke

Leo♫: maybe

katsukidon: why have i let my children become so lewd

Leo♫: sorry mama yuuri :(((

seung-gillee: oh

seung-gillee: im kind of into you i guess

RussianTiger: you ‘guess’ lol rejected

Leo♫: i think thats just his way of keeping his cool emotionless personality

a fucking gay idiot: i cant believe a pretty boy just said hes kind of into me wtf im swooning yuuri catch me im gonna faint

seung-gillee: i can still see your messages

a fucking gay idiot: i know

a fucking gay idiot: whats the point in me hiding anything now that youve seen me say tht i wldnt mind u stepping on me

katsukidon: how did i leT MY CHILDREN BECOME LIKE THIS

katsukidon: IVE FAILED AS A MOTHER

katsukidon: ALL MY CHILDREN ARE MASOCHISTS

Leo♫: im not

a fucking gay idiot: thts probably a lie tbh u just havent tried it

(gay)uanghong: leo is a sadist tbh

(gay)uanghong: tho i can tell hes holding back :///

Leo♫: IT WAS OUR FIRST TIME WTF I DIDNT WANNA BREAK U ON OUR FIRST TIME

(gay)uanghong: i knOW I KNOW SHH i appreciate it babe thank u for caring <33

katsukidon: im disowning u all ur no longer part of this family

chickennugget: hi guys!!

chickennugger: whats a masochist? and a sadist?

Leo♫: oh nO PRECIOUS LIL MINAMI IM SORRY 

Leo♫: i cant belieb we r corrupting his innocence

(gay)uanghong: hes literally my age he doesnt need to be babied

(gay)uanghong: in the sense we r talking about its a sexual thing but generally masochism is liking pain being inflicted upon u and sadism is enjoying inflicting pain upon others

chickennugget: ouCH WTF WHY WLD U LIKE THAT THAT HURTS

katsukidon: each to their own

chickennugget: i dont wanna be hit or hit anyone :(

Leo♫: u dont have to omg pls its not a thing for everyone during sex its just weirdos like us lot

(gay)uanghong: dont call me weird wtf u loved it

chickennugget: i dont wanna have sex ever at all let alone be hit :(

katsukidon: u dont have to have sex!!! Its not for everyone!!! some people dont experience sexual attraction, some people experience very little sexual attraction, and others experience it a lot, and its all normal!!!

katsukidon: u never have to do anything u dont want to do

a fucking gay idiot: mama yuuri being an educational and accepting mum is my aesthetic

chickennugget: but doesnt like. everyone have sex?? i thought tht was like a thing u had to do if u loved someone

Leo♫: u r NEVER obliged to have sex if u dont want to !!! if someone pressures u into it then they are a disgusting human being and u deserve better

Leo♫: also if anyone does tht to u i will beat them the fuck up

chickennugget: thats such a relief omg i thought i was gonna have to in the future

chickennugget: wtF IM SO HAPPY THANK U GUYS SM????

katsukidon: UR WELCOME BABIE <333333

katsukidon: also some ppl dont experience romantic attraction either, and dont wanna date people, which is 100% cool too!!!!!

chickennugget: woahh this is so cool im ###learning

chickennugget: i feel so uneducated i didnt know any of this

chickennugget: but i think i wanna date people i think i get crushes and wanna cuddle ppl and hold hands

chickennugget: can i only want that and not the sex part?

Leo♫: of course pls u neVER gotta do anything u dont wanna

chickennugget: :D!!! thats me then!!!! i just wanna date pretty boys nd cuddle and thats it

katsukidon: the term for tht is ‘asexual’ if u wanna use labels, but ofc u dont have to use a label if ur not comfy them!

chickennugget: ooo i like tht it sounds cute :D

chickennugget: u guys arE SO NICE WTF I LOVE U ALL

a fucking gay idiot: WE LOVE U TOO MINAMIIIIII WE R A ##SUPPORTIVE FAMILY

Leo♫: i love this family

RussianTiger: shit thats me too

Leo♫: whats u

RussianTiger: asexual

katsukidon: niCE

katsukidon: but u wanted to skate eros??? I assumed u wld be ####sexual af

RussianTiger: idk its more of the whole confidence thing tht i was more into with the eros vs agape thing rather than the sexual thing

a fucking gay idiot: plus some ace ppl like to dress and act sexually bc its fun and makes them feel confident

Leo♫: sexuality education w the katsuki-nikiforov family

a fucking gay idiot: the katsuki-nikiforov family but every time someone in the gc announces that theyre anything other than cishet, we all become supportive family members who love eachother very much

katsukidon: what a pure way to use tht meme <33

a fucking gay idiot: i loVE U ALL SM

Leo♫: WE LOVE U TOO

chickennugget: :D <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOM another one of ur favs is trans lol suck on thAT bet u didnt see that coming


	10. the haikyuu crossover no one asked for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive been haikyuu trash recently and i wanted to have a short chapter with a bit of crossover but i wasnt sure how to do tht.......then i realised tht hinata and minami share the same voice actor so i thought why not make that a topic
> 
> (the username for kags was stoled from pinktoria's haikyuu gc fic 'karasuno team chat' bc i cldnt think of anything better and also their fic is awesome)
> 
> also sorry tht everything i touch becomes gay. i didnt mean for this to be gay. i just cant keep my gay hands off of anything

_‘_ ** _a fucking gay idiot_** _’_ _changed their screenname to ‘_ ** _pikachit_** _’._

 

Leo ♫: are u not a gay idiot anymore

Leo♫: did u turn straight

pikachit: no no im still gay as fuck

pikachit: but i have my mum on here and i dont want her seeing me swear

katsukidon: i know u swear phichit xoxooxox

pikachit: ok ik i call u mama yuuri but didnt we establish tht in this family im ur brother???????

katsukidon: ssshut ur mouth 

pikachit: anyway

pikachit: has anyone seen kenjirou

Leo♫: the fuck is that

pikachit: minami

Leo♫: omg i caNT BELIEVE I DIDNT KNOW HIS FULL NAME IM SO SORRY MINAMI

chickennugget: hello i have arrived i was summoned

chickennugget: its okay omg dw about it

chickennugget: whats up phichit

pikachit: omg so like i have this friend and he sounds just like u???

pikachit: like i wasnt sure what it was at first tht seemed weird about him but after hearing u talk irl recently i realised tht u lit have the same voice and u kinda look similar too??????

chickennugget: omg do i have a doppleganger :O ????????!!!!!!!!

chickennugget: who is it?!?!?! 

pikachit: ill add him to the gc omg

 

**_pikachit_ ** _ added  _ **_notashrimp_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

pikachit: this is him

notashrimp: whtas goign on where am i

chickennugget: hi!!!!! im minami kenjirou!!!! phichit says we sound and look alike

pikachit: o yea fff hinata this is the guy i told u about earlier 

notashrimp: omg hi im hinata shouyou 

notashrimp: how tall r u

chickennugget: like 5ft2, why?

notashrimp: ffFFF GOD BLESS

notashrimp: -MY LONGEST YEAH BOY EVER-

notashrimp: IM FINALLY TALLER THAN SOMEONE WHO ISNT NOYA

pikachit: omghsgfh why did i let this happen

chickennugget: no fair D: how tall r u?

notashrimp: im 5ft4!!!!! but doNT UNDERESTIMATE ME IM GONNA BE THE NEXT SMALL GIANT JUST U FUCKIN WAIT 

chickennugget: how can u be small and a giant???

notashrimp: DO U NOT KNOW WHO THE SMALL GIANT IS??!?!?!?!!?!

chickennugget: no ??? am i supposed to know??

notashrimp: oHHHH MYYYY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD

pikachit: hinata not everyone plays volleyball

pikachit: minami is a skater like me

notashrimp: o shit i forgot lol

notashrimp: anywAY THE SMALL GIANT WAS A RLY AWESOME VOLLEYBALL PLAYER AND HE WAS SHORT LIKE ME!!!! 

notashrimp: AND EVERYONE UNDERESTIMATES ME BC IM SHORT AND UR ‘SUPPOSED’ TO BE TALL TO PLAY VOLLEYBALL

notashrimp: BUT I CAN JUMP RLY HIGH AND WITH MY PARTNER IN CRIME WE R UNSTOPPABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

chickennugget: woAHHH SO COOOOL

chickennugget: what do u and ur partner in crime do 

chickennugget: sorry idrk anything about volleyball

notashrimp: thats okay!! ill add him here hold up

pikachit: thsi is a chat for the skaters why did i think this was a good idea now this is gonna get flooded with volleyball players

 

**_notashrimp_ ** _ added  _ **_kingofthecourt_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

kingofthecourt: why am i here

notashrimp: LOOK KAGEYAMA THERES SOMEONE SHORTER THAN ME

kingofthecourt: great

chickennugget: hi im minami!!!!!! 

kingofthecourt: hey

notashrimp: INTRODUCE URSELF DONT BE RUDE

pikachit: this was a mistake

kingofthecourt: u already said my name

notashrimp: UGH 

notashrimp: MINAMI, THIS IS MY PARTNER KAGEYAMA TOBIO HE IS SUPER SCARY BUT HE SENDS ME THE BEST TOSSES AND I SPIKE THEM LIKE WHABAMMMMMMM AND WE R LIKE THE BEST EVER 

chickennugget: so coooooolllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!

chickennugget: will u teach me how to play volleyball?!?!

notashrimp: oF COURSE !!! UR MY DOPPLEGANGER SO UR PROBABLY GONNA BE JUST AS GOOD AS ME!!!!

kingofthecourt: hes gonna be shit then

notashrimp: WHY R U SO MEAN TO ME BAKAGEYAMA :(

kingofthecourt: why did u call us ‘partners’

notashrimp: i meanT PARTNERS IN CRIME

notashrimp: BC WE R THE FREAK DUO

notashrimp: NOT LIKE.

notashrimp: PARTNER PARTNERS OR ANYTHING

pikachit: why is everything that enters this gc turn out gay

kingofthecourt: im not gay

notashrimp: haha me neither

notashrimp: im straight as fuck

notashrimp: i love. girls 

notashrimp: and .. women

kingofthecourt: i only like volleyball

chickennugget: u sound just like yuri omg

RussianTiger: i heard my name whats going on

RussianTiger: whys he sound like me

chickennugget: he only likes his sport

RussianTiger: tbh same i only like skating

notashrimp: u like milk tho right kageyama

kingofthecourt: milk and volleyball thats it

notashrimp: not even me :( or any of the team :( u hate us all :(

kingofthecourt: ur such a dumbass

chickennugget: u guys r mean to eachother but u say ur partners ?:(( i dont get it

notashrimp: not paRTNERS PLS im straight

notashrimp: even if i WAS gay

notashrimp: which im NOT

notashrimp: why wld i EVER wanna go out with BAKAGEYAMA

kingofthecourt: shut the fuck up dumbass noya told me all about ur crush on me

notashrimp: …

 

**_notashrimp_ ** _ has left the conversation. _

 

pikachit: sEE WHAT I FUCKING MEAN WHY R ALL ATHLETES GAY

chickennugget: …. do u think he wld still teach me how to play volleyball?

kingofthecourt: yeah, ill speak to him

kingofthecourt: anyway idk why i was added to this chat idk anything about skating so i guess ill go now bye

 

**_kingofthecourt_ ** _ has left the conversation. _

 

RussianTiger: ….i wanna play volleyball too

chickennugget: im sure hinata wouldnt mind teaching the both of us!!! :D

pikachit: omg if this actually happens can i record a video of u both speaking bc lit u have te same voice its spooky

chickennugget: ofC eeee im so excited

chickennugget: do u think theyd let me bring a volleyball onto the rink and use it in my free program?

chickennugget: i cld toss it in the air and then do like . a jump and then catch it when i land!!!

RussianTiger: thats an awful idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ik some ppl said they werent a fan of crossovers so thts why they both left at the end omg but yea idK IVE BEEN WATCHING HAIKYUU RECENTLY AND I LOVE MY SPORTS BOYS I WANTED THEM TO MEET SOOOO HERES THAT also i didnt plan on making this have any kagehina in it but i typed the word 'partner' and then i waslike. wait. i can make this GAY.
> 
> bc thats what i do best; make things gay


	11. seung-gil is a gemini lol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> probably the least gay chapter yet (dont worry, itll get gay again)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i like astrology and witchcraft so . heres a bit of tht.  
> also idk how gender related stuff works in japan i only have my experience from being in the uk so the processes r probably rly different than how i describe them oops.
> 
> also theres a sliver of angst. the tiniest bit of angst. angst upsets me im a pissbaby so i dont write it ever omg but ye its just as happy and fun as usual dw no proper drama

RussianTiger: GUESS WHO JUST OFFICIALLY GOT HIS NAME CHANGED LEGALLY  AND IS IN THE PROCESS OF GETTING HIS GENDER MARKER CHANGED ON HIS PASSPORT

RussianTiger: THIS GUYYYYY 

pikachit: oMG YEEESSSS MY BOIIII IM SCREAMIGN GOD BLESS U

RussianTiger: I FEEL SO GIDDY RN IDEK WHY

katsukidon: OMG IM SHOOK YES THATS MY SON 

Leo ♫: im sO HAPPY FOR U!!!!!!!!!! 

Leo♫: does this mean tht theyve got to put u down as yuri on the stuff for competitions

RussianTiger: heLL YEAH THEY DO

RussianTiger: ive managed to get them to do it recently but its taken so much effort but !!! now they literally dont have a choice but to use my name lol

pikachit: ITS SUCH A GOOD FEELING RIGHT??

RussianTiger: RIGHT !!! I FEEL RLY WEIRD LIKE IDK WHAT THIS EMOTION IS I JUST FEEL STRANGE ITS SO WEIRD LIKE. IM LEGALLY YURI PLISETSKY NOW.

vitya: u shouldve changed your name to yurio lol

katsukidon: victor no

RussianTiger: YKNOW WHAT ? IM NOT EVEN MAD

RussianTiger: GO FUCK URSELF VICTOR IM HAPPY TODAY U CANT BRING ME DOWN

vitya: i diDNT MEAN TO BE MEAN IM SORRY SON IT WAS JUST A JOKE PLS IM ACTUALLY SO HAPPY FOR U 

(gay)uanghong: can we throw a party for this momentous occasion

Leo♫: is that really the best idea

vitya: LETS DO IT EVERYONE COME TO YU-TOPIA TONIGHT WE  CAN PARTYYYYYYYYYY

katsukidon: no alcohol for u remember

vitya: party pooper

RussianTiger: why do we need a party omg yall r crazy

(gay)uanghong: its like. a second birthday

(gay)uanghong: ur officially a sagittarius

RussianTiger: i dont think thts how astrology works

katsukidon: NO THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE YURI WHO IS A SAGITTARIUS AND THAT YURI IS ME

RussianTiger: mate thats not how it woRKS calm urself im a pisces

(gay)uanghong: omg whats everyones signs i love zodiac i wanna know

Leo♫: im. a leo.

pikachit: omg thats so funny is tht a coincidence or were u named after ur zodiac

Leo♫: honestly i have no idea

pikachit: im a taurus holla B)

(gay)uanghong: im a capricorn im better than u all

vitya: i dont know my star sign

katsukidon: how the fuck do you not know that

katsukidon: everyone knows their sign

(gay)uanghong: whens ur birthday victor

vitya: december 25th

chickennugget: omg ur a christmas baby!!!!

chickennugget: also hi sorry i missed everything!!!!

(gay)uanghong: ok ur a capricorn like me lol

pikachit: MINAMI WHATS UR SIGN

chickennugget: IM A LEO WHY

pikachit: idk we were discussing it

Leo♫: SAMEEEEE

chickennugget: but ur names leo too

Leo♫: wow rly i never knew tht my name was leo wow thanks for telling me

RussianTiger: whats so great about zodiac anyway

(gay)uanghong: ITS SO FASCINATING TO ME I LOVE IT SM 

RussianTiger: do u actually believe in all the horoscope bullshit

katsukidon: hey dont call smth like that bullshit just because u dont personally believe in it

RussianTiger: sry

(gay)uanghong: idk if i 100% believe in it, but i do find it rly cool and interesting to learn about tht sort of thing

(gay)uanghong: astrology and like. ‘magick’ stuff is rly awesome to me ive loved it since forever u shld see my crystal collection

chickennugget: OMG DO U PRACTICE WITCHCRAFT 

(gay)uanghong: i dabble

vitya: witchcraft?? like in harry potter? guang hong r u harry potter

chickennugget: nooo modern witchcraft is very different to that omg

(gay)uanghong: im not vry good at making potions or anything and i feel kinda stupid doing it bc everyones like ‘thats not reaaaallll ur dumb for thinking tht’ but like idk even if tht sort of stuff IS just placebo effect, its nice i like it

chickennugget: OMG YAY I DO A BIT TOO

chickennugget: do u want me to make u a protection potion??? ive been practising mixing stuff recently so if u want i can make u some or teach u!!!!

(gay)uanghong: omg pls ur to kind to me i wld love some pls teach me

Leo♫: …. r u like. magic or smth

chickennugget: nO didnt u read what i said to victor

chickennugget: its like. Energy focusing and crystal stuff rather than hogwarts style magic

pikachit: i wish i cld go to hogwarts

katsukidon: whats makkachins zodiac sign

vitya: we arent talking about tht anymore we r talking about how minami and guang hong r witches

katsukidon: idc the question still stands

vitya: idk when his birthday is

seung-gillee: im a gemini

(gay)uanghong: oh

(gay)uanghong: thats why ur heartless

katsukidon: iM SURE HES NOT HEARTLESS WTF

RussianTiger: i thought u didnt believe in tht stuff

(gay)uanghong: but. geminis r bad

seung-gillee: excuse me

(gay)uanghong: NO OFFENCE

(gay)uanghong: actually no. full offence fuck ur gemini ass

pikachit: WHATS WRONG WITH GEMINIS 

(gay)uanghong: thEYRE ALL MEAN AND TWO FACED

RussianTiger: stop judging ppl by their star sign u weirdo

(gay)uanghong: ok ok im sorry

(gay)uanghong: im sry seung-gil im sure ur not like other geminis

seung-gillee: sick of all this gemini hate :///

Leo♫: did he just use an emoji

seung-gillee: sick of all the fakes sick of all the lies ://// smh

katsukidon: did he just. meme

(gay)uanghong: omg im s ORRY PLS ur cool ur the good gemini of the batch

pikachit: the one good gemini?

(gay)uanghong: yeah theres only one good gemini and its him

seung-gillee: im flattered

(gay)uanghong: change ur screen name to tht

seung-gillee: k

Leo♫: why is no one else concerned that he just used emojis. and memed. he made a joke.

katsukidon: literally why r yall so calm about this have any of u ever seen him emote at all

 

_ ‘ _ **_seung-gillee_ ** _ ’ changed their screenname to ‘ _ **_theonlygoodgemini_ ** _ ’. _

 

(gay)uanghong: omg u actually did it 

Leo♫: ARE ME AND YUURI THE ONLY ONES SEEING THIS

theonlygoodgemini: i can ‘meme’ if and when i want to, leo

theonlygoodgemini: i am not obligated to emote or ‘meme’ in this group chat

katsukidon: ok hes back

theonlygoodgemini: you shut your mouth too dont talk about me like im an idiot 

theonlygoodgemini: this is why i dont make jokes or talk to anyone

theonlygoodgemini: people freak out when i do anything

(gay)uanghong: ……. look what u guys fuckin did u upset him

Leo♫: …. im sorry 

katsukidon: sorry seung-gil we didnt mean it to be mean it was meant to be a joke :(

theonlygoodgemini: it wasnt very funny

pikachit: wtf guys tht was low

Leo♫: stop protecting ur boyfriend

pikachit: HES NOT MY BOYFRIEND I CALLED HIM HOT LIKE ONCE SHUT UP????

pikachit: also ill protect him as much as i want wtf dont tell me not to stick up for him when u guys made him upset????

katsukidon: ffff i feel so bad

theonlygoodgemini: its ok just please dont over react like that

(gay)uanghong:.......ok but…..can we still have a party for yuri

vitya: YES

katsukidon: NO

RussianTiger: why not wtf dont u SUPPORT ME 

katsukidon: oF COURSE I DO U KNOW THT FGSGF

RussianTiger: ik ik i was kiddin lol

pikachit: why cant we have a partyyyy mama yuuri :((((

katsukidon: no alcohol not after last week

vitya: i wont drink that much i promise

katsukidon: u wont drink at ALL

vitya: ok if i promise to not drink any alcohol can we have a party

pikachit: plsssssssss yuuuuuuuurrriiiiiiiii <3

(gay)uanghong: plsss mama let us party its ur sons birthday

RussianTiger: its not my birthday omg but ye pls lets have  a party

katsukidon: . do i have a choice in this at all

vitya: nope lol we r gona do it anyway

katsukidon: OKAY FINE ON ONE CONDITION

pikachit: YAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Leo♫: is this rly a good idea i dont want another road sign incident

katsukidon: IT WONT BE A ‘PARTY’. ITS A ‘GET TOGETHER’. NOT A LOT OF ALCOHOL. NONE FOR VICTOR OR YURI OR ANYONE ELSE UNDER 20. NO ONES GETTING WASTED. ONLY TIPSY. NO SCREAMING AND PISSING OFF OTHERS AT THE INN. U GUYS FORGET MY FAMILY HAS A BUSINESS TO RUN

pikachit: im dOWN FOR A GET TOGETHER itll be fun omg

(gay)uanghong: WHAAAAT NO ALCOHOL FOR ME :(((( YUUURRRIIIIII PLSSSS

katsukidon: ITS ILLEGAL

(gay)uanghong: we r rebels we do it anyway 

katsukidon: fine but not a lot

katsukidon: and bring ur own

katsukidon: and dont let my parents know u drinking if ur underage

vitya: AYYYYYYYYY GUYS ITS GONNA BE LIT PAAAARRRTTTYYYY AT OURS TONIGHT 

katsukidon: ITS NOT A PARTY ITS A GET TOGETHER

pikachit: u sound like candace from phineas and ferb

pikachit:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbAYl1xUF6w ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbAYl1xUF6w)

Leo♫: how do u guys even know these american shows omg wtf

katsukidon: me and phichit lived in detroit remember

Leo♫: o ye oops

chickennugget: can i come to the party?!?!?

pikachit: heck yeAH LIL DUDE the more the merrier

 

**_katsukidon_ ** _ renamed the conversation: ‘ _ **_NOT A PARTY_ ** _ ’. _

 

(gay)uanghong: omg ur such a mum pls

 

**_vitya_ ** _ renamed the conversation: ‘ _ **_PARTY AT YU-TOPIA TONIGHT 6PM-WHENEVER U WANNA LEAVE WE HAVE ROOM FOR U TO SLEEP ON THE FLOOR IF U NEED TO ALSO BRING UR OWN ALCOHOL_ ** _ ’ _

 

chickennugget: ill be there!!! :D

theonlygoodgemini: same 

Leo♫: omg yeeesss the whOLE GANG IS COMING

katsukidon: if any of u disturb business i will m u r d e r you

pikachit: chiiiiiilllll fam itll be gd dw ill make sure everyones calm and collected ;)

katsukidon: u are the last person i trust with that responsibility

pikachit: <3 ;)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its party time mate 
> 
> which one of ur favs will i make trans next??? who knows???? theres only one person ###confirmed to have a dick so nO ONE IS SAFE BASICALLY. ILL RUB MY TRANS HANDS ALL OVER EVERYONE JUST U TRY TO STOP ME


	12. episode 10 fucked this chapter up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> episode ten stole all my ideas for this chapter and im sALTY UGH I LIT HAD THE THOUGHT OF IT GOING OUT OF HAND AND YUURI DANCIN W EVERYONE AND NOT REMEMBERING IT AND ONLY SEEING THE PICTURES IN THE MORNING IM SO PISSED
> 
> anyway. heres what i came up with instead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this wasnt meant to be so long and i didnt even read back through it lol i didnt want this chapter to be like this but eh what can u do
> 
> also ppl wanted some otabek/yuri stuff but i dont like shipping yuri with adults bc hes a minor so i added the next best thing so tht we r all content ok nice

pikachit: yo my dudes ik its a couple hours before the party but

Katsukidon: *get together

pikachit: get together sorry

pikachit: can i come over early bc im bored and i have nothin better to do 

katsukidon: ofc come on down pal 

pikachit: ok good bc i was already on my way lol u had no choice in this

katsukidon: nice one ##ladz

RussianTiger: can i invite otabek to the get together

(gay)uanghong: who tae fuck is that

RussianTiger: my qpp

katsukidon: he sometimes trains at ice castle??? Hes got weird time schedules tho so hes not usually there when we r

pikachit: hes like. the seung-gil of kazakhstan 

theonlygoodgemini: umm offended 

theonlygoodgemini: im better looking than him

(gay)uanghong: omG YURI U HAVE A QPP THATS ADORABLE

RussianTiger: itsnot tht big of a deal

Leo ♫: whats tht

(gay)uanghong: THEY R IN A QUEER-PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP

katsukidon: theyre like dating but also not bc its not romantic idk how else to describe it??????????

RussianTiger: ye tht basically

Leo♫: omg thts cute 

chickennugget: do u guys date other people?!?!??! What about if u fancy someone?!?!?!

pikachit: why u askin chicken boi ;))))

chickennugget: …….curiosity

RussianTiger: our qpr isnt monogamous lol he has a romantic gf shes p cool

vitya: iNVITE HIM TO THE PARTYYYY INVITE EVERYONEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

pikachit: not jj 

pikachit: or chris pls

vitya: chRIS MEANS WELL OKAY hes no where near as bad as jj

katsukidon: umm victor didnt i tell u to go to the shop :// 

vitya: iM TEXTING AND WALKING 

katsukidon: does anyone want anything whilst victor is out 

katsukidon: hes out gettin snacks for later

(gay)uanghong: get some pepsi ill pay u back later

theonlygoodgemini: coke is better than pepsi

(gay)uanghong: go fuck yourself u good for nothing gemini bitch

pikachit: yOO CALM URSELF

theonlygoodgemini: youre the one that called me ‘the only good gemini’

Leo♫: get some coleslaw

(gay)uanghong: im breaking up with u

vitya: id rather cut off all my fingers with my skates blade than go NEAR c*leslaw

pikachit: ur officially uninvited

Leo♫: IT ISNT EVEN UR PARTY WTF

katsukidon: stop callin it a party or ur ALL UNINVITED

Leo♫: sorry mama yuuri

pikachit: btw im here open ya door im too anxious to knock

katsukidon: omw mate

(gay)uanghong: can i bring cards against humanity

pikachit: YES

pikachit: DO IT

katsukidon: NO. MINAMI IS A CHILD

(gay)uanghong: 2 flaws in ur logic there mate

(gay)uanghong: 1) hes literally my age

(gay)uanghong: 2) hes oLDER THAN YURI??? YURI IS THE CHILD HERE

RussianTiger: call me a child one more time i fuckin dare u

chickennugget: omg no i love cah shld i bring my expansion packs

Leo♫: okfhsfg see yuuri hes nOT THE INNOCENT CHILD U THINK HE IS

katsukidon: if u wanna corrupt this tiny chicken nugget with holocaust jokes then BE MY GUEST

(gay)uanghong: yay thanks mama yuuri 

katsukidon: ://////

chickennugget: im a big kid now i can tie my OWN LACES

pikachit: so cute

(gay)uanghong: whos got music for tonight tho we cant have a ‘get together’ without some bangin tunes

Leo♫: leave it to me ;)))

RussianTiger: no brit pop

Leo♫: listen kid it may be ur party but u dont get to decide how much britpop we have okay im the dj in this town and ill put on whatever i want

chickennugget: i like brit pop

(gay)uanghong: ur not a dj u just have spotify premium and a lot of playlists

Leo♫: i didnt come here to be attacked like this

pikachit: oMG THE FUNNEISTS THING JUST HAPPENEND

(gay)uanghong: oooooo whats this

pikachit: oK ME AND THE YURIS ARE SAT IN VICTORS ROOM RIGHT YKNOW JUST CHILLIN HAVIN A CHAT AND YUURIS PHONE STARTS RINGING RIGHT

pikachit: AND YURI LOOKS OVER AND SEES THE CALLER ID AND IS ALL LIKE ‘ha as if you still call ur dad ‘daddy’ ur such a child’

pikachit: AND YUURI JUST LOOKS HIM STRAIGHT IN THE EYE

pikachit: HE PICKS UP THE PHONE AND SAYS 

pikachit: ‘hey victor’

Leo♫: omFG JESUS CHRIST

RussianTiger: i am Mortified thsi isnt funny i want to DIE

(gay)uanghong: LMSOFHDY OMGGGG YUURI

pikachit: IM HOWLING

RussianTiger: thts tru hes like screaming and rolling on the floor rn idk how hes finding the energy to type

theonlygoodgemini: this party is a mess before it even began

katsukidon: NOT A PARTY 

pikachit: …..is tht the only thing u have to say for urself

katsukidon: what do u waNT ME TO SAY I CANT EXACTLY DENY IT CAN I 

katsukidon: I HAVE TWO WITNESSES 

(gay)uanghong: is anyone really surprised tho like we know hes a masochist

katsukidon: CAN WE NOT TALK ABOUT MY SEX LIFE PLEASE

pikachit: hey u brought this upon urself lol ur the one with ur partners name as ‘daddy’ on ur phone

katsukidon: actually its ‘daddy ☆ ☽ ♥’

RussianTiger: im gonna fucking kill you

vitya: dont hurt my babyboy

RussianTiger: i wanna move out

vitya: gd luck finding a place to stay thatll allow two cats

(gay)uanghong: he only has one cat???

vitya: hes the other cat

RussianTiger: r u calling me a pussy or an actual cat

RussianTiger: bc id rather be a pussy than someone who calls their partner daddy in bed 

(gay)uanghong: rekt

katsukidon: im gonna need a lot of alcohol for this

pikachit: but u said no alcohol tonight

katsukidon: its MY PARTY AND ILL DRINK IF I WANT TO GOD DAMN IT

RussianTiger: its actually MY party bitch

pikachit: omg he called it a party

(gay)uanghong: ITS OFFICIALLY A PARTYYYYY HECK YEAH GET THE BOOZE GET THE MUSIC GET THE LIGHTS GET THE POLE

RussianTiger: p l e a s e  no more poles im still scarred from the banquet

chickennugget: …..what happened at the banquet

pikachit: u dont wanna know

RussianTiger: ill show u the pictures when u get here omg

katsukidon: doNT SHOW HIM MY REGRETS

 

-

 

theonlygoodgemini: im gonna be late to the party 

pikachit: noooooooo why

theonlygoodgemini: i have coursework i need to do

katsukidon: thats okay my dude just come on down whenever ur done

(gay)uanghong: on the subject of that. we r here open the door hoe

katsukidon: how DARE u show up at MY HOUSE

katsukidon: call me a HOE

katsukidon: and EXPECT ME to let you ENTER

(gay)uanghong: just let us in its fucking freezing out here

pikachit: almost the whole gang is here nice

pikachit: wheres minami

pikachit: MINAMI MINAMI MINAMI

pikachit: MIANMIIIIIIIIIIIIII

pikachit: MINAMI KENJIROUUUU ANSWER MEEEEEEEEEEEE

pikachit: BOI

Leo ♫: chILL OUT

chickennugget: HI

pikachit: WHERE ARE U MATE

chickennugget: soRRY I WAS TAKING A NAP UR MESSAGES WOKE ME UP

Leo♫: omg 

pikachit: huRRY UP GET HERE WE MISS U

RussianTiger: thats gay

pikachit: ur face is gay

 

-

 

Leo♫: yuri why didnt u tell us ur qpp was that hot holy shi

RussianTiger: u knew him before i did ?????

Leo♫: ive never actually spoken to him ive just seen him a couple times around

(gay)uanghong: umm babe u better not be trying to form a harem

Leo♫: im nOT HES JUST GOOD LOOKIN

RussianTiger: stop starin he gets uncomfortable with too much attention

pikachit: shall we add him to the gc

RussianTiger: definitely not

RussianTiger: u guys will scare him away and he will never wanna hang out w u again

(gay)uanghong: offended

(gay)uanghong: tho ur probably right

 

-

 

RussianTiger: what was tht noise

Leo♫: no idea

vitya: sorry i droped a glass in the kicthen it smashed

pikachit: did yuuris mum scream????

katsukidon: ….that was ME

pikachit: ofbshjKDGSJD

katsukidon: lsITEN OKAY IT WAS LOUD IT SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME

Leo♫: victor u havent even had any drink why r u already smashing glasses

vitya: thats what u think ;)))

pikachit: i snuck him a shot

Leo♫: if one shot is enough to get him fucked then jfc

vitya: iM NOT DRUNK PLS I DIDNT MEAN TO I WAS HOLDING LIKE 5 GLASSES AT ONCE

 

-

 

RussianTiger: victor and yuuri are having sex in the bathroom

vitya: are we??

vitya: yuuri u shouldve told me i wldve paused my game of candy crush

katsukidon: WE ARENT HAVING SEX WTF MAN

pikachit: ofmmshf what is going on in there

RussianTiger: i heard suspicious noises

vitya: i got glass stuck in my foot and yuuris tryna get it out and clean it up for me 

Leo♫: relationship goals

katsukidon: he keeps moving and its making it hurt more thts why ur hearing shit

RussianTiger: ….still suspicious

pikachit: is this the second time tht a sober yuuri has had to patch up a drunk victor

vitya: IM NOT EVEN DRUNK WTF I HAD ONE SHOT

vitya: yuuri is more drunk than i am

RussianTiger: please stop him from drinking please i dont want a repeat for the banquet

Leo♫: they dont have a pole in their house dw

RussianTiger: still

 

-

 

pikachit: SEUGN GIL PLS HELP

theonlygoodgemini: what 

pikachit: WHEN WILL U BE HERE

theonlygoodgemini: idk im almost done my work why whats wrong

pikachit: CHAOS HAS ENSUED

pikachit: VICTOR AND YURI HAVE BEEN YELLING AT EACH OTHER IN RUSSIAN FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES

pikachit: MINAMI AND YUURI ARE SINGING SOME JAPANESE SONG THT I DONT KNOW ALSO YUURI IS SHIRTLESS

pikachit: I HAVE NO CLUE WHERE LEO IS

Pikachit: GUANG HONG IS SHITFACED AFTER LIKE. ONE DRINK

pikachit: HES LAYING ON THE FLOOR MUMBLING TO HIMSELF IN CHINESE

pikachit: OTABEK IS ASLEEP IN THE CORNER CUDDLING THE DOG

pikachit: IM SAT ALONE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM AND IDK WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

theonlygoodgemini: it could be worse

theonlygoodgemini: i wouldnt call that chaos

pikachit: juST PLS COME SAVE ME

theonlygoodgemini: ill be there soon

pikachit: THANK U SM UR THE REAL MVP

-

 

Leo♫: guys

Leo♫: can someone help me please

Leo♫: help

Leo♫: guys pls

Leo♫: im stuck in the bathroom

Leo♫: guysguysguysguys i refuse tobelieve none of u r on ur phones rn

Leo♫:  i hate u all????

Leo♫: well when u guys fianllt read this,, im in yuuris en suite pls come break me out 

 

-

 

katsukidon: why are u in my bathroom we have one like right next to victors room???

Leo♫: its been an hour please just let me out

katsukidon: alright alright

Leo♫: why is there vodka in ur bathroom

Leo♫: and a frying pan???

Leo♫: also a high heel. like u only have the one wheres the other one

katsukidon: yknow what. u can stay in there 

Leo♫: nO PLS LET ME OUT IM SORRY I WASNT JUDGING U I WAS JUST ASKING

katsukidon: stop snooping in my stuff

Leo♫: IM SORRYYYYY

 

-

 

_ (Private Message: **RussianTiger** and **chickennugget** : _

RussianTiger: HI ITS YURI PLISETSKEY

chickennugget: ??? why r u messaging me we are in the same place

RussianTiger:  UR IN ANOTHER ROOM THO 

chickennugget: come here then???

RussianTiger: NNO EVERYONE IN HRE IS ALSEPE I DONT WANNA WAKE THEM UPPPPP

chickennugget: who is this

RussianTiger: I TOLD U IM YURI

chickennugget: phichit why are u on yuris phone

RussianTiger: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT U R TALKIGN ABOUT

chickennugget: oh my god get off his phone

RussianTiger: NO IM NOT PHICHIT IM YURI 

RussianTiger: IM YURI PLSIESTKY AND I HAVE A CRUSH ON U

chickennugget: ?????????????????????????

chickennugget: phichit if u have a crush on me just message me through ur phone u dont have to do it through yuris

RussianTiger: nO NO NO I DONT HAVE A CRUSH 

RussianTiger: ITS YURI HE HAS A CRUSH

RussianTiger: ON YOU

chickennugget: this is confusing me whats going on here

RussianTiger: ok riGHT ye hi its phichit i nicked yuris phone when he fell asleep

RussianTiger: he totally has a cruhs on u he thinks ur hella cute

chickennugget: so u tried to pretend to be him and ‘confess’

chickennugget: ur idea was good in theory but u didnt even TRY to get his typing style correct 

RussianTiger: srory im tired and tipsy

RussianTiger: where r u currently

chickennugget: victors room on the floor lol leo guang otabek and victor are still here

chickennugget: where did u even go when did u leave

RussianTiger: i followed yuuri to his room idk why ??? hes like .laying on top of me currently

RussianTiger: yuri is next to me he fell asleep whilst on his phone so i nicked it lol

chickennugget: hes gonna be piiiiiiissed at u

RussianTiger: tru lol

chickennuget: …...does he rly fancy me tho or r u just jokin

RussianTiger: he wldnt admit it bc hes a stubborn prick but ye before u guys met he was all like ‘phichit whos tht guy on ur insta hes cuuuuute’ and he kept callin u cute

chickennugget: im so blessed??? cant believe a pretty boy thinks im cute thank u @ god @ jesus @ allah @ prince ali

RussianTiger: prince ali 

Chickennugget:  Prince Ali! Fabulous he!

Ali Ababwa

Genuflect, show some respect

Down on one knee!

Now, try your best to stay calm

Brush up your sunday salaam

The come and meet his spectacular coterie

Prince Ali!

Mighty is he!

Ali Ababwa

Strong as ten regular men, definitely!

He faced the galloping hordes

A hundred bad guys with swords

Who sent those goons to their lords?

Why, Prince Ali

RussianTiger: oh my gofd

chickennugget: a great song dont lie

RussianTiger: u right u right

chickennugget: they have tht song on just dance on the nintendo wii i know the whole dance by heart

RussianTiger: omg niCE we shldve played tht tonight before everyone fell asleep

RussianTiger: wait shit yuri is shufflign im gna go incase he wakes up bYE

 

-

 

 

RussianTiger: wait what

RussianTiger: WHAT THE FUCK

RussianTiger: PHICHITS GONNA GET FUCKING STRANGLED

RussianTiger: HE DIDNT MEAN ANYTHING HE SAID OKAY

chickennugget: good mornin to u too

RussianTiger: im gonna punch phichit when he wakes up

chickennugget: :(( u dont think im cute???

RussianTiger: whats it matter to you

chickennugget: i think ur cute :((

RussianTiger: ..

RussianTiger: im not cute im punk rock

chickennugget: shut the fuck up and come to victors room we r all awake in here

RussianTiger: k

chickennugget: :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate this chapter i hate this chapter i hate this chapter i wANTED SOME FUNNY DRUNK YUURI BUT NO EPISODE 10 HAD TO RUIN IT FOR ME AND TAKE ALL MY IDEAS IM SO MAD
> 
> if u dont know what a queer platonic relationship is then i wld suggest googling it omg i love my two boys they r happily qpps
> 
> also someone put a comment on an older chapter saying tht i shld keep victor and yuuri cis for canons sake (and btw this isnt me hating on tht person!!! they werent mean at all !!! but i wanted to discuss what they said!!!):  
> 'keeping' a 'canonically cis' character in this show cis isnt something i can do, as there are no characters that are 100%confirmed to be cis. no characters have ever spoken about gender in that way, and we havent seen anyones genitalia so we literally dont know if anyof the characters are cis or trans or non binary or intersex or anything!!!! and thts smth tht i love about fanon stuff bc like we can headcanon any of the characters to be anything and theres no way of saying tht we are 100% wrong!!!  
> (i am considering putting my nb heacanons onto oth victor and yuuri but idk how id add it into the fic ??? like idk how id make it come up in conversation lol)
> 
>  
> 
> but yeAH SORRY long notes r long sorry
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT: OK FOR ANYONE WHO DOESNT KNOW WHAT A QPR IS, HERE IS A BETTER DESCRIPTION THAN THE ONE IN THE FIC
> 
> "A queerplatonic relationship is a relationship that is not romantic but involves a close emotional connection (platonic) beyond what most people consider friendship. The commitment level in a queerplatonic relationship is often considered to be similar to that of a romantic relationship."


	13. jj lives on dick island, canada

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the title is a lie , he was born on dick island

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dislike jj why did u make me do this

_(Private message:_ **_xXKINGJJXx_ ** _and_ **_katsukidon_ ** _:_

 

xXKINGJJXx: Yuuri! Why Didn’t You Invite Me To Your Party?! x

katsukidon: how did u get my username

xXKINGJJXx: Why Wasn’t I Invited, Yuuri!? x

katsukidon: why would i invite u ???

xXKINGJJXx: You Invited All Of Our Other Friends! :-( x

katsukidon: jj we arent friends

xXKINGJJXx: Why Not? x

xXKINGJJXx: We Are Only Rivals On The Ice! We Can Be Friends When Not Competing! x

katsukidon: no thank u

xXKINGJJXx: :-( x

katsukidon: .. bye

 

)

  


-

 

katsukidon: how does jj know about last night

katsukidon: also where did seung-gil go

pikachit: he prob saw my snapchat story lol

pikachit: and he went home early bc he didnt wanna leave his dog alone all night

(gay)uanghong: he shldve brought his dog with him its so cute

phichit: did jj message u????

katsukidon: ye he asked why i didnt invite him

Leo♫: since when were u and JJ friends omg

katsukidon: wE ARENT

katsukidon: I DONT EVEN REMEMBER ADDING HIM ON HERE

pikachit: hes gross dont invite him to anything

katsukidon: im not gonna omg

katsukidon: why do u have him on snapchat

pikachit: i like to keep an eye on my peers in case i find anything i can use as blackmail

(gay)uanghong: phichit ur scary

RussianTiger: he called me a lady at the rostelecom cup

pikachit: whAT

pikachit: IM GONNA KILL HIM

pikachit: IM GONNA FUCKING MURDER HIM

RussianTiger: pls do it i wldve done it but i didnt wanna get disqualified

Leo♫: woah wtf whyd he say tht

RussianTiger: he said ‘ladies first’ as i got off the ice

(gay)uanghong: WHAT A DICK

Leo♫: lets all go beat him up

(gay)uanghong: letS DO IT CHAT SHIT GET BANGED MATE

pikachit: does anyone know where he lives

vitya: i do

vitya: [ [link] ](https://www.google.co.uk/maps/place/Dick+Island/@45.4233284,-80.3588908,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x4d2b92017cae9311:0xf2860c32411cf5cd!8m2!3d45.4237403!4d-80.3560426)

(gay)uanghong: oMDGKG

Leo♫: WHAT AN AMAZING NAME FOR AN ISLAND

(gay)uanghong: omG ITS IN CANADA TOO LMAOOO

pikachit: lets all go to dick island and punch him in the dick

pikachit: down with cis

RussianTiger: down with cis

katsukidon: down with cis

vitya: down with cis

Leo♫: i feel attacked

(gay)uanghong: down with cis

theonlygoodgemini: down with cis

pikachit: omg seung-gil r u not cis

theonlygoodgemini: .

theonlygoodgemini: i must go goodbye

(gay)uanghong: omg

chickennugget: idk what this means but

chickennugget: down with cis

katsukidon: cis means. not trans

chickennugget: ooooooo

chickennugget: i can always count on u guys to teach me new stuff

pikachit: also leo dont be a ##bad cis pls cisphobia isnt real

Leo♫: i neVER SAID IT WAS PLS I WAS JOKING IM SORRY

RussianTiger: im driving the down with cis bus

vitya: i made the shirts

katsukidon: choo choo all aboard the Trans Train™

RussianTiger: its a bus

katsukidon: but tht doesnt have alliteration

pikachit: the Trans Train™ (with special (cis) guests) on our way to beat JJ the fuck up

(gay)uanghong: i will proTECT YURI WITH ALL OF MY POWER I MAY LOOK LIKE A 12 YEAR OLD WHO COULDNT HURT A FLY BUT ILL PUNCH ANY TRANSPHOBES IN THE DICK AND KICK THEIR SHINS IN SO THEY GET SHIN SPLINTS I WILL ALWAYS PROTECT MY FELLOW TRANS SIBLINGS

RussianTiger: thank u sm

pikachit: ouCH IMAGINE TRYNA SKATE WITH SHIN SPLINTS

(gay)uanghong: exACTLY

 

 _(_ **_(gay)uanghong_ ** _renamed the conversation: ‘_ **_Yuri Plisetsky Protection Squad™_ ** _’ )_

 

katsukidon: u missed the perfect opportunity for alliteration there

RussianTiger: whats with u and alliteration

 

 _(_ **_katsukidon_ ** _renamed the conversation: ‘_ **_Plisetsky Protection Program™_ ** _’)_

 

(gay)uanghong: ok thts better than mine ill give u tht

katsukidon: thx

Leo♫: unrelated but guys

Leo♫: what do yall want for xmas

vitya: ive never rly celebrated it properly??

vitya: russia isnt rly big on it for some reason

(gay)uanghong: its only rly celebrated in like. major cities back in china

pikachit: thailand is mostly buddhist but theres quite a bit of decoration around usually??? where im from anyway

Leo♫: woahhhh u guys r miSSING OUT CHRISTMAS IS AWESOME

RussianTiger: get thsi religion talk away from me

Leo♫: bro im noteven christian

pikachit: i thought only christians celebrated it

Leo♫: idk its a massive thing back in america?? ive always celebrated it omg its jst fun w family and lights and snow

katsukidon: christmas is more of a thing for lovers here

Leo♫: WELL IM GONNA FORCE MY ###CULTURE UPON U ALL AND HOST A CHRISTMAS PARTY UR ALL INVITED THERES GONNA BE A TREE AND LIGHTS AND TINSEL AND MUSIC AND FESTIVITIES AND MINCE PIES UR GONNA HAVE A GREAT TIME

pikachit: ‘culture’

Leo♫: bUT GUYS U DIDNT TELL ME. WHAT. DO. U. WANT. FOR. CHRISTMAS.

pikachit: a boyfriend

Leo♫: i cant help u with tht

(gay)uanghong: u can be my xmas gift just like. wrap urself up in paper and lay under a tree

Leo♫: thats gay

katsukidon: for xmas i wld like some will to live

katsukidon: or a bucket of bleach

katsukidon: whichever is cheapest

RussianTiger: i found the perfect gift for u

RussianTiger: [ xmasbleach???.jpg ](http://img.tesco.com/Groceries/pi/055/5054269748055/IDShot_540x540.jpg)

pikachit: omfgsFDH ok why does tht exist

(gay)uanghong: who makes up these products do they think shit like ‘ah yes i want my toilet water to smell like smth id wanna drink’

katsukidon: im gna down the bottle

Leo♫: dont

RussianTiger: do it itll be funny

RussianTiger: wE LIKE TO DRINK WITH YUURI, COS YUURI IS OUR MATE

RussianTiger: AND WHEN WE DRINK WITH YUURI HE GETS IT DOWN IN 8

RussianTiger: 7

RussianTiger: 6

pikachit: wait what

RussianTiger: 5

RussianTiger: 4

Leo♫: thATS A DRINKING SONG FOR ALCOHOL

RussianTiger: 3

RussianTiger: 2

RussianTiger: 1!!!!!!!

RussianTiger: did u do it

katsukidon: no i dont even have it???

RussianTiger: shame

katsukidon: wtf u wanted me to down a whole bottle of bleach in 8 seconds get out of my house

katsukidon: someone come take him away i dont want him near me what if he tries to kill me in my sleep

pikachit: hes not gna kill u probably

pikachit: i wldnt be surprised if he replaced all ur drinks w bleach now tho

Leo♫: guys pls no ones gna drink mulled spice bleach okay ik its christmas and thts a very festive flavour but u can find other mulled spice drinks that WONT kill u

katsukidon: but i want it to kill me

vitya: I JUST FOUND A WEBSITE WHERE YOU CAN CUSTOMISE YOUR OWN CONDOMS

pikachit: whAT

pikachit: LIKE THE PACKET OR THE ACTUAL CONDOM

vitya: THE ACTUAL CONDOM LOOK AT MY CREATION IM GONNA BUY IT

vitya: [ condom.jpg ](http://image.prntscr.com/image/5c6049f66c6f4e6586a6e372624cee42.png)

pikachit: fDGFHJKSG

(gay)uanghong: is that jesus on a condom

vitya: YEP

katsukidon: u put an ice skate on it

vitya: of course i did

vitya: what is sexier than jesus and an ice skate

Leo♫: tht cheeky hand tho ogmddb

vitya: i just ordered them

pikachit: omF i want one

katsukidon: ur gonna be let down if u think tht we r gonna be using those during sex

vitya: i just spent 11417 yen on those um yes we are using them

RussianTiger: gd 2 kno u hav ur priorities straight

vitya: they arent straight theyre gay i just bought condoms yuri

katsukidon: DO U HAVE NO CHILL

katsukidon: HES FIFTEEN DONT U FIND IT AT LEAST A LITTLE WEIRD HOW OPEN U ARE WITH HIM

vitya: right right im sorry

katsukidon: also no. im not having jesus in my ass

 

-

 

 _(_ **_Leo♫_ ** _added_ **_xXKINGJJXx_ ** _to the conversation.)_

 

Leo♫: im sorry guys he made me do it

xXKINGJJXx: Hey everyone!x

xXKINGJJXx: Its Rude To Keep Me Out Of The Friendship Group Like This!x

 

 **_katsukidon_ ** _left the conversation._

 

 **_pikachit_ ** _left the conversation._

 

 **_(gay)uanghong_ ** _left the conversation._

 

 **_RussianTiger_ ** _left the conversation._

 

 **_vitya_ ** _left the conversation._

 

 **_theonlygoodgemini_ ** _left the conversation._

 

Leo♫: ..really.

xXKINGKJJXx: Why’d They Leave? :-(x

Leo♫: um idk maybe they were busy

Leo♫: this was probably a mistake

xXKINGJJXx: ??x

Leo♫: we uhh dont talk much in here anyway aha idk why u wanted to be in here so bad

xXKINGJJXx: I Didn’t Want To Miss Out On Any More Parties!x

Leo♫: right

chickennugget: whos this??

chickennugget: new friend??!?!!?!?

chickennugget: HI THERE IM MINAMI KENJIROU!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer JJ is alright but bc of my ftm yurio headcanon i get mad bc he called him a lady omgghjswg ik its a stupid reason to dislike a character but eh whatcha gonna do
> 
> the jesus/skate condoms were 99USD or 78GBP lol
> 
> yuri sings a drinking song bc he lowkey hates yuuri but hes just kidding pls.
> 
> (also i wrote another fic wow u shld check it out pls its a camboy!yuuri au omg idk how to write porn but i thought the idea was great so ye u can read tht too if u want ayy ok bye now)


	14. emil is in cahoots w pewdiepie lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quite a few cis ppl got mad at me for making jj transphobic and said tht iwas too harsh on him. this is a STORY. jj is fine im sure hes a good person in canon but this is just banter okay calm down????
> 
> also bc of this ive abandoned the story i was gonna follow w jj (he was gonna have a redemption arc but ya'll blew it lol) and im gonna continue the plinami one i had in mind instead bc im petty and if u dont like how i write a character then tough i guess u wont see more of him bc im not changing it lol (also theres still a lil bit of haikyuu crossover, and ik not everyones seen it, but all u rly need to know is tht in haikyuu they play volleyball and tht a lot of the voice actors from yuri on ice voice characters in haikyuu too lol)
> 
> to compensate for m changes, three new pals have joined the gc!!!
> 
> cyberEmil: emil  
> Thing1: Sara  
> Thing2: Mickey
> 
> aight bye enjoy

**_Leo_ ** **_♫_ ** _ added  _ **_pikachit_ ** _ ,  _ **_(gay)uanghong_ ** _ ,  _ **_RussianTiger_ ** _ ,  _ **_katsukidon_ ** _ ,  _ **_vitya_ ** _ , and  _ **_theonlygoodgemini_ ** _ to the conversation.  _

 

pikachit: leT ME LEAVE THE CHAT

xXKINGJJXx: Why Do You All Hate Me? :(x

theonlygoodgemini: ur a transphobe

xXKINGJJXx: ???x

RussianTiger: u called me a lady 

RussianTiger: im not a lady pls dont call me tht its rly rude

pikachit: u shldnt misgender people its rly shitty

xXKINGJJXx: Oh! I Didn’t Know He Was Trans Im Sorry!!!:((x

RussianTiger: ohh i thought u were just being peak

xXKINGJJXx: I Didn’t Mean It Like That :(x 

pikachit: still, u shldnt misgender people anyway even if they arent trans

pikachit: calling yuri a lady bc he has long hair isnt very nice bc even if he was cis, u wld still be saying that long hair is only for girls, which isnt true

pikachit: anyone of any gender can have their hair as long or as short as they want

katsukidon: and the way u said it was as if it was a joke to be a girl which is kinda sexist

xXKINGJJXx: You’re Right, I Said A Bad Thing. Im Really Sorry, Yuri x

RussianTiger: its aight 

theonlygoodgemini: ur still a dick tho and i rly dislike u

theonlygoodgemini: im kinda glad i didnt get into the finals bc the thought of standing next to u on the podium makes me feel ill

theonlygoodgemini: honestly id rather have bombed it as hard as yuuri did last year and come last than stand by you

katsukidon: i feel like i should be offended but that was amazing ofmhdg

pikachit: jeSUS christ do u have any chill

xXKINGJJXx: I Can Understand That, Seung-Gil. You’ve Never Liked Me, Have You?

theonlygoodgemini: no pls leave thanks

Leo♫: i think thsi is enough

  
  
  


**_Leo♫_ ** _ removed  _ **_xXKINGJJXx_ ** _ from the conversation. _

 

Leo♫: im soRRY GUYS he wouldnt leave me alone until i added him

pikachit: hes gone now thts good

pikachit: tHT SLAM FROM SEUNG GIL THO OMFDGS

katsukidon: i feel kinda bad bc i dont think he knows much abt tht stuff and tht what he said is wrong he probably just thinks we r assholes

pikachit: i feel like such a snake tho omg this is like the anti jj chat

Leo♫: phichit ur the biggest snake i know

pikachit: uM RUDE

pikachit: but ur right i am a snake

katsukidon: u probably have enough dirt on all of us to get us all disqualified from any future competitions

pikachit: tru

pikachit: none of u better cross me or ill be forced to expose u :)

(gay)uanghong: im an open book theres nothing to expose of me

pikachit: youd be surprised by some of the receipts i have

katsukidon: should i be scared

pikachit: probably :)

 

_ (Private Message:  _ **_notashrimp_ ** _ and  _ **_chickennugget_ ** _ : _

 

notashrimp: MINAMI!!!!! MINAMI ITS HINATA HI

chickennugget: HI HINATA HOW ARE U

notashrimp: IM GOOD!!!!

notashrimp: i wanted to ask if u wanted to hang out later and i can teach u some volleyball!!!!!!!

chickennugget: THATD BE AWESOME YES PLEASE!!!!!

notashrimp: NICE!!! do u know where karasuno high is???

notashrimp: u and phichit shld come down this afternoon and me and kageyama can teach u some stuff!!!! :D

chickennugget: yAY NICE!! IM EXCITED!!!!

chickennugget: can i bring my friend yuri??

notashrimp: OF COURSE!! itll be awesome :D!!!

chickennugget: SO COOL 

chickennugget: ILL SEE U THEN!!! )

 

_ (Private Message:  _ **_chickennugget_ ** _ and  _ **_RussianTiger_ ** _ : _

 

chickennugget: yuri!!!!!!!!!

chickennugget: remember phichits volleyball friend from the other day???

chickennugget: he asked if we wanted to go to his school this afternoon and he could teach us!! do u wanna come? are u busy???

RussianTiger: im not busy today so ye we can go

chickennugget: YAAAAAY!!!! :D

chickennugget: we can become amazing at volleyball and be a perfect duo like hinata and his partner!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RussianTiger: volleyball is a bit different to skating idk if we will be THAT good 

chickennugget: HOW HARD CAN IT BE?!?!? plus ur fast so u will probably be awesome!!!

chickennugget: ur good at everything so i hav no doubt u will be perfect!!!!

RussianTiger: r u hitting on me

chickennugget: maybe

chickennugget: aNYWAY GOTTA GO BYE ILL SEE U LATER )

  
  
  


-

 

**_theonlygoodgemini_ ** _ added  _ **_cyberEmil_ ** _ ,  _ **_Thing1_ ** _ , and  _ **_Thing2_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

theonlygoodgemini: emil tell everyone what happened

katsukidon: new friends hi welcome to skate squad (trademark) (copyright all rights reserved)

pikachit: actually its the plisetsky protection program (trademark) (copyright all rights reserved)  **®**

cyberEmil: FF OKAY SO 

cyberEmil: some guy just came up to me and asked me if i was pewdiepie

cyberEmil: and when i said no he CALLED ME A LIAR???? AND THEN SLAPPED ME AND TOLD ME NOT TO BE RUDE TO MY FANS

cyberEmil: IM SO CONFUSED ? I DONT EVEN LOOK LIKE PEWDIEPIE

pikachit: u kinda do

Thing1: you really do

Thing2: someone once commented on my instagram once asking if you were pewdiepie

cyberEmil: i hate this

katsukidon: whos thing one and two

theonlygoodgemini: the twins

Thing1: oh right yeah its sara and mickey hey

pikachit: whos who

Thing1: im sara im thing 1 because im better than mickey

Thing2: shes right

chickennugget: HI NEW FRIENDS IM MINAMI

cyberEmil: hI MINAMI R U THE LITTLE ONE WITH THE RED IN HIS HAIR

chickennugget: IM NOT LITTLE IM 17

(gay)uanghong: right its time to assign these newcomers some positions in the family

pikachit: omg i almost forgot about that

pikachit: sara and mickey r the rly good looking cousins tht everyone loves but is secretly jealous of bc its as if they stole all the good genes from the family

Thing1: im honoURED BLESS YOU PHICHIT

pikachit: emil ur that one guy whos not actually related in any way but the kids still call u uncle and ur always at the family gatherings and half the people there dont know how or why you’re considered part of the family or where ur even from but ur fun and know how to have a laugh and ur good with the kids so no one rly questions it

katsukidon: u know the family is too big when ur running out of family members to assign to people so u have to make an in depth story behind why someone is there

pikachit: ok but i can still totaly imagine emil being tht guy

katsukidon: same same

cyberEmil: is that a good thing???? 

pikachit: yeah ur cool and mysterious

(gay)uanghong: no hes pewdiepie

katsukidon: does every family have to have a pewdiepie

(gay)uanghong: yes

cyberEmil: i dont wanna be the family pewdiepie

(gay)uanghong: well someones gotta do it and u look the most like him

Leo ♫: i was just rewatching the stream from the rostelecom cup bc i missed the first bit and um emil why were ur eyes brown at the start???? And then blue???? Ur eyes are blue right???

cyberEmil: wait what

Leo♫: look  [ browneyes???.jpg ](http://image.prntscr.com/image/b618bd62c2244288baa3eef0414e24e9.png)

Leo♫:  [ blue?????.jpg ](http://image.prntscr.com/image/d561cceea5134f8dae407cb39913d40c.png)

Leo♫: explain urself

Thing2: omg what thats so weird how didnt i notice that at the time

katsukidon: spooky

chickennugget: whAAAT THAT SCREENSHOT SAYS UR 18?!?!?!?!

chickennugget: HOW COMES U HAVE A MASSIVE BEARD AND UR ONLY A YEAR OLDER THAN ME?!?!? THIS ISNT FAIIIIIRRRRRRRR

(gay)uanghong: is tht rly all u care abt rn

chickennugget: GUANG HONG ARENT U THE SLIGHTEST BIT JEALOUS?!?!?! WE HAVE BABY FACES AND HE LOOKS LIKE A PROPER ADULT

(gay)uanghong: having a baby face has its perks too!!! I still get child fare on the bus

cyberEmil: i literally have no idea why my eyes look like that im just as confused as u are

pikachit: theory: emil and pewdiepie are in cahoots with eachother; emils natural eyes are actually brown, and sometimes him and pewdiepie switch places to gather information on each others rivals 

Leo♫: why would they need information on each others life what are they planning

pikachit: pewdiepie is the most subscribed on youtube so with any information he gets from pretending to be emil he could leak it and RUIN EVERYONES CAREER

(gay)uanghong: emil pls dont tell pewdiepie any of my secrets

cyberEmil: IM NOT IN CAHOOTS WITH PEWDIEPIE WTF

pikachit: THEN EXPLAIN THE EYES, BUDDY

cyberEmil: I HAVE NO IDEA PLS MAYBE IT WAS JUST THE LIGHTING

pikachit: SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING SOMEONE WHOS IN CAHOOTS WITH A FAMOUS YOUTUBER WOULD SAY

cyberEmil: IM NOT

katsukidon: pls stop saying cahoots u sound like someone from a shitty 1950’s detective drama

cyberEmil: ok but why would pewdiepie know how to skate MY ROUTINE

cyberEmil: checkamte bicth

pikachit: idk what he does in his free time maybe he likes skating

cyberEmil: fuck that guy why does he get to be famous and not me 

(gay)uanghong: at least he has a girlfriend unlike u lol

pikachit: oOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JIMINY CRICKETS

(gay)uanghong: the fuck

cyberEmil: ya i dont have a girlfriend because im GAY, IDIOT

katsukidon: why the fuck is everyone gay i dont understand 

katsukidon: there is yet to be a person in this chat to openly state that they are 100% cisgender and heterosexual

pikachit: u got a problem w that huh

pikachit: are u secretly cis and het huh

pikachit: r u secretly a bigot

pikachit: u waNNA GO, KATSUKI??? U WANNA FUCKING GO

pikachit: ILL SEE U ON THE FUCKING DUELING GROUND BRO U BETTER HAVE QUICK REFLEXES COS UR GONNA CATCH THESE HANDS

pikachit: DONT MESS WITH ME BUDDY IM FROM THAILAND I KNOW MUAYTHAI I WILL NOT HESITATE TO FUCK U UP

katsukidon: WTF CHILL 

katsukidon: DONT BEAT ME UP I WAS JUST STATING THT EVERYONE WE KNOW IS GAY

pikachit: i got my eyes on u mate u better sleep w one eye open

katsukidon: im neither cis nor het why r u like this

RussianTiger: this one time i was layin on my bed just chillin on my phone and my cat started walking on me which is chill bc she usually likes to sleep on my stomach or smth so i let her do that and then she started doing the lil kneading thing tht cats do like into my thigh and it rly hurt but i didnt wanna push her off bc i felt bad so i just let her carry on and then she walked onto my stomach and did it there but one of her claws went into my belly button and i screeched so loud and sat up so fast tht she went flying across my room and she looked at me rly scared bc i just catapulted her like 5 meters and i still feel bad about it to this day bc she just wanted to have a nap on my tummy and she just wanted attention but it scared me so bad she went zooming across the room and i tried to say sorry but she doesnt speak any human language so i just started crying because i felt so so so awful and she would never know how bad i felt because she didnt understand my apologies and sometimes i look at her and wonder if she still trusts me or if shes mentally scarred or if shes completely forgotten and it breaks my heart to think maybe shes still shook up from that experience.

Leo♫: um

pikachit: what did tht have to do with anything we were talking about

RussianTiger: nothing but i just remembered it and got rly sad

katsukidon: are u okay yuri

RussianTiger: i think i need a nap

katsukidon: thts probably for the best….

chickennugget: dont sleep too long we gotta meet hinata later!!!!!!!!

pikachit: iM COMING RIGHT

chickennugget: yeah!!!!!

RussianTiger: gdnight nap time

Leo♫: its like 1pm

RussianTiger: good. NIGHT.

katsukidon: ill wake u later

chickennugget: good night yuri!

RussianTiger: goodnifssdtfstfdtfdstfdgfhsdfgfstfdghsfhsdfhfshsfhsfhshfdhfddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

pikachit: did he fall asleep whilst typing omg cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall did this to urself lol i might add jj back in the future but for now hes outta hereeeeeeee
> 
> ALSO LETS PRETEND THAT THE HAIKYUU BOYS AND THE YOI GANG LIVE IN THE SAME PREFECTURE OK IK THE MIYAGI PREFECTURE AND THE SAGA PREFECTURE ARE LIKE OPPOSITE SIDES OF JAPAN BUT SHHHHH FOR STORIES SAKE LETS PRETEND THEY LIVE CLOSER
> 
> i had no idea what emil sara and mickeys usernames would be???? emils is a bit shit but its only tht bc his theme was fuckign cyberpunk omg and i put the twins as thing 1 and thing 2 bc. theyre twins. thats it. 
> 
> i wanna add mila to the chat but idk what her username wld be so if u have any suggestions for what milas name wld be pls tell me ihave 0 creativity


	15. one big room full of bad bitches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i didnt update for a week i dont have an excuse other than i couldnt be bothered  
> anyway heres more shenanigans! also i forgot to add mila omg she will be there next chapter i promise
> 
> the chats getting pretty full so heres a username reminder!:  
> Yuuri: katsukidon  
> Yuri(o): RussianTiger  
> Victor: vitya  
> Phichit: pikachit  
> Leo: Leo♫  
> Guang hong: (gay)uanghong  
> Seung-gil: theonlygoodgemini  
> Minami: chickennugget  
> Emil: cyberEmil  
> Sara: Thing1  
> Mickey: Thing2
> 
> i think thats everyone??? omg idek anyway enjoy

RussianTiger: minamis nose is broken lmaooooo

kasukidon: wait what whyd you do that for

RussianTiger: i didnt do it wtf did u think i did

katsukidon: i assumed u punched him in the face idk u said lmao so i thought it was u

RussianTiger: im wounded yuuri, how could u even think id do anything like that

RussianTiger: im innocent, im just a 15 year old boy trying to do his best, i would NEVER hurt anyone

katsukidon: the first thing u did when u came to japan was kick me through a glass door and stand on my head 

RussianTiger: everyone makes mistakes

katsukidon: u kicked me at the rostelecom cup too

RussianTiger: but i gave u pirozhki to make up for it

katsukidon: at the party u threatened to cut my throat with ur ‘knife shoes’ if i didnt stop talking to minami in japanese bc u thought i was flirting with him which is weird bc im 24 and hes 17 and also im engaged 

Leo ♫ : knife shoes????????

katsukidon: ice skates. he fuckign meant ice skates.

Leo ♫: omfg

RussianTiger: look i didnt come here to get attacked 

RussianTiger: dont u care about minami and his broken nose

katsukidon: i do care what happened why did u let this happen

RussianTiger: wtf im not his guardian talk to phichit hes the responsible adult

pikachit: uM NO IM NOT THE GUARDIAN

katsukidon: howd he break his nose tho is he alright

pikachit: ye he shld be alright  he got hit in the face with a volleyball

pikachit: we r at karasuno high school bc minami and yuri wanted to play volleyball and well. hinata has a surprisingly strong spike for his size

Leo ♫: jesus christ 

Leo ♫: see this is why guys like us stick to ice skating, we arent cut out for contact sports

RussianTiger: its not even a contact sport ? the two teams r separated by a net in the middle? he got hit with the fucking ball

katsukidon: jfc 

chickennugget: IM OKAY!!!!!!!!! ALSO U DONT KNOW IF ITS ACTUALLY BROKEN UR NOT A DOCTOR

RussianTiger: ur not okay ur bleeding

chickennugget: ITS SLOWED DOWN NOW THO

pikachit: i think we shld go home or to the doctor 

chickennugget: IM FINE I DONT NEED A DOCTOR I WANNA COMTINUE PLAYING

katsukidon: idk if thats a good idea darling 

(gay)uanghong: omg minami is a badass he wants to play even with a broken nose

chickennugget: it miGHT NOT EVEN BE BROKEN

chickennugget: its so fUN THO AND HINATA IS SO COOOOOOL HES SO FAST AND HE JUMPS SO HIGH I BET HE WLD BE GREAT ON THE ICE

pikachit: hes a clutz i dont think thatd be good

katsukidon: why r yall texting ur in the same room

pikachit: so u gUYS R IN ON THE CONVERSATION

pikachit: yuri is playing again now hes surprisingly okay at it

(gay)uanghong: i wldntve ever thought he’d be ever able to focus on anything that wasnt either skating or making yuuris life a living hell

katsukidon: thts all he does ngl

chickennugget: his ass looks great in shorts tho 

(gay)uanghong: omg 

katsukidon: im not gonna agree bc im like 8 years older than him and thats weird but also dude thts gay

pikachit: update minami just shouted tht to him across the room  omgfh yuri flipped him off but hes BLUSHING LIKE HELL

Leo ♫: omfg minami i thought u were a tiny innocent child i never took u for an ass man

chickennugget: im not ass man chris is ass man

katsukidon: tru

pikachit: omg okay two of hinatas friends (??? can u call them that??) just came in to practise and one of them looks scary af bUT HE JUST SPOKE AND HE SOUNDS JUST LIKE YURI I THOUGHT IT WAS HIM????

(gay)uanghong: maybe its a twin

pikachit: no this guy is tall af 

pikachit: hes blonde tho……conspiracy theories

chickennugget: whys he wearing like. swimming goggles 

katsukidon: ???? i thoight u were playing volleyball not swimming

pikachit: idK i think theyre like weird sports glasses or smth idk

pikachit: i wld ask him but he looks like he wld beat the shit out of me

(gay)uanghong: yuuri u shld get sports goggles

katsukidon: ffFF I DONT THINK SO

katsukidon: can u rly imagine me skating with fuckign goggles on

katsukidon: how to fuckin ruin eros 

pikachit: hey i think u wld look sexy

chickennugget: he laughed when he sent that

pikachut: ur a snake

katsukidon: lsiten its easier skating half blind bc then i cant see the crowd

chickennugget: but then u slam ur face into the side of the wall and get a nose bleed

katsukidon: ok ive made a lot of mistakes in my time but  at least i finished my routine after that

katsukidon: ur nose is bleeding and ur sitting out 

katsukidon: pussy

pikachit: WTF YUURI

Leo♫: u cant just call a child a pussy

katsukidon: fff im sorry i didnt mean it minami

chickennugget: pls i wanna play but they wont let me 

chickennugget: its not even bleeding anymore

(gay)uanghong: i cant believe yuuri just called someone a pussy

katsukidon: i dIDNT MEAN IT 

(gay)uanghong: riiiiight

pikachit: omg yuri and spooky glasses guy r arguing

katsukidon: pls dont let him get a broken nose too

pikachit: it sounds so fucKING WEIRD THEY SOUND THE EXACT SAME IT JUSTSOUNDS LIKE YURI IS TALKING TO HIMSELF

chickennugget: IT DOES ITS RLY WEIRD

pikachit: glasses guys friend is cute tho 

chickennugget: ur right hes a cutie 

katsukidon: HOW ABOUT INSTEAD OF GUSHING OVER CUTE VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS U MAKE SURE YURI DOESNT GET BEATEN TO DEATH

pikachit: chill hes fine theyre just glaring at each other now

pikachit: they seem just as salty as each other its so weird im uncomfortable

pikachit: yuri and glasses guy r both salty asses who sound the same, and minami and hinata r both cute balls of sunshine who sounds the same im shook

chickennugget: u rly callin me cute when im sat here with a tissue up my nose covered in blood

pikachit: just accept the compliment

Leo♫: now i lowkey wanna play volleyball ngl

(gay)uanghong: u wld die

Leo♫: u cant talk

(gay)uanghong: i never said i wldnt die either,, ik i wld die we all would we r too fragile

chickennugget: phichit dID U JUST SEE WHAT GLASSES GUYS FRIEND JUST DID IM SHOOK

pikachit: NO WHAT I WASNT LOOKING

katsukidon: WHY R U GUYS TEXTING??? UR NEXT TO EACHOTHER????

chickennugget: i cant talk aloud he might heAR ME

katsukidon: ok fair

chickennugget: HE JUST FUCKIGN DID THAT THING THT THEY DO IN ANIME IM SHOOK YKNOW WHEN THEY BLUSH AND LAUGH AND SCRATCH THE BACK OF THEIR NECK NERVOUSLY HE JUST DID THAT AND IM CRYING THIS GUY IS SO CUTE WHO IS HE

pikachit: OMG NOOO I WISH ID SEEN HIM DO IT 

pikachit: ASK HINATA WHO HE IS

katsukidon: why r  freaking out over this guy SCRATCHING HIS NECK

pikachit: ok listen this guy is adorable u wld be swooning too if u saw him

pikachit: he has F R E C K L E S 

(gay)uanghong: wtf i have freckles why dont u scream abt me being cute

pikachit: I DO. CONSTANTLY.

Leo♫: same

(gay)uanghong: ok tru

katsukidon: do u have a thing for freckles now 

pikachit: who DOESNT have a thing for freckles?????????

chickennugget: UPDATE: HIS NAME IS YAMAGUCHI TADASHI

(gay)uanghong:yamaGUCCI

pikachit: omg i wonder if ppl ever call him guchi

pikachit: guchi-kun 

(gay)uanghong: nO ITS GOTTA BE LIKE GUCCI 

katsukidon: whats that song about gucci

pikachit: theres a song?

katsukidon: yeAH ill find it hold on

katsukidon:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WJFjXtHcy4 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WJFjXtHcy4)

pikachit: o yEAH IK THAT SONG OMGMDG

Leo♫: do i wanna click tht

katsukidon: pls listen its actually a good song

pikachit: ‘good’

katsukidon: dont judge my music taste bitch u listen to blood on the dance floor

(gay)uanghong: WTF PHICHIT OGMHH WHY WLD U LISTEN TO THEM WE ARENT FRIEDNS

pikachit: I DONT LISTEN TO THEM PLS IT WAS ON MY PLAYLIST ON SPOTIFY IRONICALLY BC ITS SO BAD

(gay)uanghong: THAT BETTER BE THE REASON

pikachit: IT IS PLS YUURI DONT U REMEMBER ME SHOWING U THEM BC THEY WERE SO BAD

katsukidon: i imagine yuri wld listen to them

(gay)uanghong: do u have NO FAITH in the russian prodigy????????? He knows better than that

pikachit: he would Never do tht

Leo♫: ok yuuri ur right tht link is great i cld bop to this

katsukidon: RIGHT???????? 

katsukidon: one big room full of bad bitches 

pikachit: aND WE STUNTIN LIKE GUCCI GUCCI LOUIS LOUIS FENDI FENDI PRADA

katsukidon: THEM BASIC BITCHES WEAR THAT SHIT SO I DONT EVEN BOTHER

pikachit: I PUT THAT ON MY PARTNER I PUT THAN ON MY FAMILY

katsukidon: OAKLAND CITY REPRESENT ADDRESS ME AS UR MAJESTY

pikachit: YEAH U CAN KISS THE RING BUT U CLD NEVER TOUCH THE CROWN

(gay)uanghong: sh ut the fuck up

pikachit: ur no fun

 

**_katsukidon_ ** _ renamed the conversation ‘ _ **_one big room full of bad bitches_ ** _ ’. _

 

Leo♫: we dont need gucci we dont need louis

pikachit: ur damn fuckin right my friend

(gay)uanghong: tbh i like this name for the chat i feel cool now

katsukidon: cos we r all bad bitches

RussianTiger: ur the furthest thing from a ‘bad bitch’ u cld evr get yuuri lol

katsukidon: um rude shldnt u be playing volleyball

RussianTiger: the tall guy is pissing me off

RussianTiger: and the small guy

RussianTiger: and the small guys babysitter

pikachit: bABYSITTER FDHSJFD

RussianTiger: hes literally acting like hes a babysitter tbh ginger kid is such a child 

pikachit: i think their dynamic is cute its the whole ‘cutesy happy flirty but oblivious dere-dere and the stoic expressionless tsundere’ thing 

RussianTiger: eh 

chickennugget: is cute freckle boy the only one not annoying u  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

katsukidon: u used his name earlier why r u calling him tht

chickennugget: bc hes cute

(gay)uanghong: i wanna be the cute freckle boy :(((

Leo ♫: u are

pikachit: get a room u two

Leo♫: um u have been crying over that freckle kid in this chat maybe U SHLD GET A ROOM

RussianTiger: he hasnt spoken to me yet but hes not even doing anything so he hasnt rly annoyed me yet

pikachit: ‘yet’

RussianTiger: stop calling him cute hes not cute

chickennugget: he rly is

RussianTiger: no hes not

pikachit: oooo r u jealous yuri ;))) bc minami thinks another guy is cute ;))

RussianTiger: shut the fuck up

RussianTiger: u guys calling him cute is making him annoying to look at

pikachit: tbh he cld annoy me all he wants i wldnt mind ;)))

chickennugget: omg get his number

pikachit: omg noooo im scared

(gay)uanghong: phichit i thought u had a thing for seung-gil

pikachit: pLS LET ME LIVE HES IN THIS CHAT

(gay)uanghong: he KNOWS already u both have a thing for eachother

pikachit: ffgfhdfg pls im allowed to think other boys are cute im not even dating him????????

pikachit: also im poly soooooo

katsukidon: where is seung-gil anyway he hasnt spoken today

pikachit: neither has victor or emil or the twins

katsukidon: shit ur right

katsukidon: well ik victors fine hes right here

katsukidon: hi guys im alright

katsukidon: that was him

pikachit: omg

Leo♫: where r they r they safe

(gay)uanghong: theyre probably all scared as shit bc of how weird u all are and how often we talk in here

Leo♫: we dont talk that often

(gay)uanghong: we send liek 57tu45738 messages at a time tho

cyberEmil: HI SORRY WE WERE AT THE MOVIES

katsukidon: all of u????

cyberEmil: no me and mickey went to the movies, sara is sick :(((

cyberEmil: idk where seung-gil is

(gay)uanghong: just u and mickey huh ;)

cyberEmil: dont even

katsukidon: what did u see

cyberEmil: fantastic beasts and where to find them !!!!

Thing2: im a sucker for the harry potter franchise

katsukidon: who isnt tbh

Leo♫: fff i rly want to go see moana it looks so good

(gay)uanghong: saME IT LOOKS GREAT LETS GO SEE IT

katsukidon: ik u two prob wanna go as a date but . can i come pls i wanna see it too

Leo♫: yeaH MY DUDE the more the merrier

Leo♫: who else wants to come

RussianTiger: whens this happening

Leo♫: ff umm?? next weekend?? is everyone free then

katsukidon: thats christmas

Leo♫: shit 

Leo♫: what about. thursday???

Leo♫: i only have practice that morning so? Is everyone free tht afternoon

katsukidon: me victor anf yuri r free

chickennugget: can i come

Leo♫: OFC

Leo♫: anyone in this gc is invited

cyberEmil: ill be there

Thing2: me two

Thing2: sara will probably be there too if shes not ill still

pikachit: mE TOO ILL BE THERE

pikachit: I ALSO JUST GOT CUTE FRECKLE BOYS NUMBER 

katsukidon: jfc man

Leo♫: invite ur new boyfriend

pikachit: HES NOT MY BOYFRIEND OKAY WE R ONLY FRIENDS I THINK HIM AND TALL GLASSES GUY ARE DATING IDK THO

pikachit: hes nice tho can i invite him anyway

Leo♫: the more the merrier my dude

katsukidon: omg family outing to the movies

Leo♫: ill book the tickets ayy how many of us is that

Leo♫: 12? Including phichits new friend and seung-gil wherever the fuck he is

(gay)uanghong: omg the family is getting large

RussianTiger: can otabek come

Leo♫: ofc ok so 13 of us

Leo♫: anyone else???

pikachit: … do any of us actually have any other friends

chickennugget: HINATA IS OUR FRIEND

pikachit: u dont wanna invite him hes the kind of guy tht talks through movies and is rly loud

katsukidon: we cld invite chris?

Leo♫: 14

Leo♫: right thats a lot of us 

pikachit: squadsquadsquadsquadsquadsquadsquadsquad

(gay)uanghong: #ladsontour

chickennugget: #LADSONTOUR

katsukidon: we r not all lads

pikachit: omg i forgot its not a gender neutral term i use it for everyone

katsukidon: tbh so do i idm being called a lad

katsukidon: #LADSONTOUR

cyberEmil: #LADSONTOUR

Leo♫: #LADSONTOUR

Thing2: #LADSONTOUR

RussianTiger: ive changed my mind i dont wanna be around u guys ever again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> self indulgent love for yams bc i love him so much hes my actual angel baby who i want to love forever and ever
> 
> also tsukki and yuri have the same voice actor thts why i included the things of them sounding alike omg
> 
> this was a bit uneventful sorry
> 
> mila will be at the movie outing so expect some mila ##banter next time


	16. idk what to name this chapter but mila and chris are here now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so many ppl gave some AMAZING username suggestions for mila, and i wish i cldve used them all omg but i finally settled on 'liftqueen'. (i almost used 'tsareena' bc thats a pokemon and also it sounds like tsarina who was a russian empress, but i didnt know if ppl wld understand properly)
> 
> but yeah. liftqueen and assman join the fun.

chickennugget: hey guys

chickennugget: so turns out tht the kid me nd phichit were calling cute the other day is actual 15/16

chickennugget: which is fine for me but phichit is currently mortified

katsukidon: wtf do u mean ‘15/16’ is he 15 or 16 he cant be both

chickennugget: it depends on if ur talking about him from the manga or the anime

katsukidon: what

chickennugget: nothing

chickennugget: anyway

chickennugget: phichit is freaking out he thinks hes going to jail

pikachit: IM SCARED LSITEN I DIDNT KNOW HE WAS A MINOR

Leo ♫: u were at a highschool why did u expect him to be older

pikachit: IDK HE WAS A LOT TALLER THAN HINATA SO I ASSUMED HE WAS A THIRD YEAR OR SMTH

chickennugget: that or the author forgot his age but only remembered after he’d already posted the chapter

katsukidon: what

chickennugget: nothing

pikachit: IM GOING TO HELL AND ALSO PRISON

cyberEmil: well … did u have sex with him

pikachit: nO I ONLY GOT HIS NUMBER ITS NOT EVEN LIKE THT 

pikachit: WE R #BROS NOW ITS NOT LIKE THT PLS

cyberEmil: then why wld u go to jail

pikachit: BC IDK I CALLED HIM CUTE  IN THIS CHAT

katsukidon: dw about it pls no ones gonna tell the police on u

Leo♫: ok but is he still coming to the movies 

pikachit: heck yeah boiii hes kinda nervous tho so be nice to him okay

chickennugget: i cant come guys i am soRRY ik i said i wld but :(

cyberEmil: :((

pikachit: :(((((((

Leo♫: oh noooooo why not

chickennugget: i gotta go to a family gathering :(

chickennugget: also the author hasnt seen moana so he needs something to steer the conversation away from the film when the story gets to that part

katsukidon: what

chickennugget: nothing

chickennugget: anyway has anyone seen seung-gil yet?????

chickennugget: its been like. at least 20 hours since we last asked where he was

pikachit: good question where is he

katsukidon: it says he hasnt been online for 2 days

Thing1: he wont answer my calls

Leo♫: omg hi sara r u feeling better

Thing1: hEY LOL SORRY FOR JUST BARGING IN UNANNOUNCED ye im feelin a lil bit better thx for asking

vitya: he hasnt posted on instagram in a while

pikachit: he doesnt use like any social media tbh so thts probably not a good way to find his whereabouts

pikachit: also hi sara 

Thing1: suh

pikachit: also hi victor i forgot u were even here u never come in the chat ever and uve jsut been speaking through yuuri recently

vitya: hes always in the chat so whats the point in me being in it when hes right next to me

pikachit: touche

(gay)uanghong: what was the last thing he said in the chat

(gay)uanghong: also hi im here now

katsukidon: this chat is very overcrowded there r too many people

chickennugget: ikr how is the author keeping up with this many ppl to write in

katsukidon: literally what are u talking about minami

chickennugget: dont worry about it

Thing1: lets make it more overcrowded

 

**_Thing1_ ** _ added  _ **_liftqueen_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

Thing1: hey babe

vitya: is that mila

liftqueen: ur damn right it is 

liftqueen: where am i and what is this place

(gay)uanghong: hi there mila consider this ur formal introduction

(gay)uanghong: this is ‘one big room full of bad bitches’ 

(gay)uanghong: previously known as ‘furries anonymous’, ‘fuck c*leslaw’, ‘cooking mama’s kitchen’, ‘katsuki-nikiforov family groupchat’, ‘ skatesquad but every time someone says something gay i get one step closer to ending my own life’, and many many more,

(gay)uanghong: but we generally call ourselves skatesquad bc we r disgusting losers who have no lives out side of skating

pikachit: we r also a family

(gay)uanghong: yeAH WE R A FAMILY

cyberEmil: im technically not in the family

pikachit: noo emil u count as part of the family we love u <3

liftqueen: riiiight okay so what am i doing here

Thing1: they were complaining about how crowded this gc is so i added u

Thing1: also im inviting u out to see moana with us

Thing1: also i didnt wanna be the only girl here

liftqueen: nice

chickennugget: hI THERE IM MINAMI KENJIROU!!!!!!!!!!!

liftqueen: hey ur the little kid that keeps making heart eyes at yuri right lol

chickennugget: …. iM NOT LITTLE

RussianTiger: whys this hag in the gc

katsukidon: yuri be nice

RussianTiger: no

vitya: whos mila gna be in the family

Leo ♫: ok 1) i love how minami didnt even try to hide the fact hes been staring at yuri all the time since he moved here and 2) mila is urs and yuuri’s second kid bc idk her v well but she and yuri seem to argue like siblings a lot soooo

vitya: niCE 

chickennugget: theres no point in me lying tbh

vitya: BABE DID U HEAR THT WE HAVE ANOTHER KID

katsukidon: NICE

katsukidon: why r both our kids russian

vitya: bc im better than u

liftqueen: im alright w this arrangement 

Thing2: hey has anyone seen seung-gil?

Leo♫: omg the whole gang is here hi mickey

Thing2: yes. The whole gang. Except seung-gil.

Leo♫: u know what i fuckin meant

Leo♫: sorry we dunno where he is we were asking the same thing earlier

Thing2: that BASTARD

Thing2: UGHHHH

pikachit: what wrogn my dude

Thing2: HE OWES ME MONEY

(gay)uanghong: dw he’ll prob be back soon?? U’ll get ya money

Thing2: but. I neED IT

liftqueen: how much does he owe u

Thing2: uhhhhh not much

Thing2: but i wanna go get a starbucks and i dont have any cash on me rn and i dont like using my card for stuff like that

(gay)uanghong: jesus christ

vitya: can i add chris to this chat

Leo♫: ITS TOO OVERCROWDED AS IT IS

vitya: idc

 

**_vitya_ ** _ added  _ **_assman_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

chickennugget: wow he really is the ass man

assman: thats my name, dont wear it out

pikachit: i regret ever making this chat

assman: ouch phichit say that to my face

pikachit: nO NOT BC OF U

pikachit: BUT GENERALLY THERES A LOT OF PPL HERE THIS WAS PROBABLY A MISTAKE

katsukidon: thats what i told u when u first made the chat but nooooooooo u dont listen

assman: hey yuuri remember that one time at the banquet

katsukidon: NO

katsukidon: BOTH IN THE SENSE OF NO I DONT REMEMBER AND ALSO NO DONT SPEAK ABOUT THIS THERE R CHILDREN PRESENT

RussianTiger: i was present at the banquet too and i remember it all :)))

Leo♫: dont use a smiley face its weird coming from u

katsukidon: I APOLOGISE FOR WHAT I DID IM SORRY

(gay)uanghong: i wish i was there tbh from the stories ive heard it was ##wild

liftqueen: iT WAS WILD ITS SO FUNNY I HAVE VIDEOS ON MY PHONE 

Thing1: wait what happened at the banquet

katsukidon: NOOOOOOOONONONONONOO PLS NO 

katsukidon: MY DIGNITY

RussianTiger: u have none of tht left

assman: me too i have so many photos

vitya: same

katsukidon: CAN WE NOT TALK ABOUT THIS

(gay)uanghong: omg show us

Thing1: SHOW US

(gay)uanghong: SHOW US

katsukidon: DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT 

cyberEmil: u being secretive just makes us more intrigued

cyberEmil: SHOW US

vitya: im gna show them

katsukidon: VICTOR PLS DONT ILL BREAK UP WITH U

cyberEmil: someones gotta do it

vitya: ...i cannot disobey direct orders

assman: ……….then ill do it

(gay)uanghong: YESSS CHRISSSSS MY MAN

Thing1: the reAL MVP

Thing2: no hes no good for u sara

Thing1: bitch ik i dont like men

katsukidon: CHRIS PLS DONT

assman: :)

katsukidon: im gonna FUCKIGN KILL YOU???? RIGHT NOW?????

assman: :))))

pikachit: dO IT

vitya: any last words before he slaughters u

katsukidon: DONT

assman: ….

assman: victor youre the closest friend ive got

vitya: chris

vitya: do not throw away ur shot

katsukidon: IM GONNA KILL YOU AND THEN MYSELF

assman: oKAY OKAY IM JUST KIDDING IM NOT GONNA

katsukidon: IDK IF I CAN BELIEVE YOU

assman: I WONT I PROMISE

Thing1: awwww what cmon man i was looking forward to this

assman: (((who of u guys wants to see them hmu)))

pikachit: uve already shown me but i want the evidence on my phone too

katsukidon: I CAN STILL SEE U TYPING WHAT THE FUCK

  
  


**_assman_ ** _ added  _ **_pikachit, Thing1, (gay)uanghong, Thing2, cyberEmil, Leo♫, chickennugget,_ ** _ and  _ **_liftqueen_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

**_assman_ ** _ renamed the conversation ‘ _ **_TOP SECRET CHAT DONT TELL YUURI_ ** _ ’. _

  
  


assman: ya’ll ready?

(gay)uanghong: omg chris ur an actual legend 

cyberEmil: yuuri is totally gonna kill u

assman: thats why the chats called TOP SECRT CHAT DONT TELL YUURI

assman: he wont kill me if he doesnt know

Thing2: you said it in the main chat???

assman: shhhh he has no proof

pikachit: juST SEND THE RECIEPTS OF YUURIS MESSINESS

assman: alright alright hold on

assman: ok so me and him pole danced together dont ask why or how we got a pole

assman:  [ poledance1.jpg ](http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/thumbnails/max1000x1500/cms/interest/109676/cziwwnluaaacxc0.jpg-large.jpg-percent20large.jpeg)

assman:  [ poledance2.jpg ](http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/thumbnails/max1000x1500/cms/interest/109676/czge0ypuqaauara.jpg-large.jpg-percent20large.jpeg)

chickennugget: MY VIRGIN EYES

Thing1: OMFFGHJRG 

Thing1: NO FUCKING WAY

assman: the camera doesnt lie babe

Thing1: oh my GOD

cyberEmil: jesus christ

liftqueen: i have some too

liftqueen:  [ loveatfirstdance.jpg ](https://heidicullinan.files.wordpress.com/2016/12/victuri-8.png?w=639)

pikachit: holy fuck he mustve been absolutely smashed to be that confident

assman: he really was

liftqueen: YURI IS IN THIS ONE

liftqueen:  [ danceoff1.jpg ](https://68.media.tumblr.com/91e619aff5b2dfc2b9551fd3b296a856/tumblr_ohud1kQ3kJ1uhh6i4o3_1280.jpg)

Leo♫: AS IF HE GOT IN ON IT TOO WTF

liftqueen: omg u can see me in this one 

liftqueen:  [ danceoff2.jpg ](https://68.media.tumblr.com/32ad2af5e8ca52a2f7108740a3948bdc/tumblr_ohud1kQ3kJ1uhh6i4o1_1280.png)

liftqueen: i think chris took those on my phone

assman: i did indeed

chickennugget: i cant ever look at yuuri the same way

(gay)uanghong: ok but like?? Yuri is like FLYING in tht last one???

pikachit: oMHHDFSSG

Thing2: im so glad to have this blackmail

pikachit: SAME

pikachit: as an avid collector of receipts i can use to manipulate people and ruin their lives, i am having a GREAT TIME

Leo♫: somehow i dont think its a gd idea to say tht 

pikachit: idc who hears

pikachit: fear me

 

-

 

katsukidon: YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN SILENT FOR A WHILE

liftqueen: o shit we’ve been clocked

katsukidon: CHRIS U BETTER NOT HAVE MADE A NEW GC TO SHOW EVERYONE

assman:...... in my defence it wasnt EVERYONE

katsukidon: IM GOING TO SLAUGHTER U

assman: IM KIDDING I DIDNT 

assman: CMON GUYS BACK ME UP ON THIS

liftqueen: ye we were just kidding dw we would never

chickennugget: idek what u guys r talking about

pikachit: yeah dw yuuri they didnt show us anything

katsukidon: I CANT TRUST ANY OF U

pikachit: pLS DW nothing was shown to us

pikachit: i promise

(gay)uanghong: i swear on leos life, chris and mila didnt show us anything

Leo♫: wtf why r u sacrificing me

(gay)uanghong: im not. r u saying tht they DID show us?

Leo♫: .. no

(gay)uanghong: good boy

katsukidon: side eye emoji

katsukidon: u guys make me suspicious

liftqueen: we r sorry for worrying u yuuri but i promise we didnt do anything <3

katsukidon:.......fine okay

assman: <3 :D

  
  


\--

  
  


theonlygoodgemini: whatd i miss

pikachit: SEUNG-GIL

pikachit: WHERE TF HAVE U BEEN ITS BEEN LIKE. 2 FULL DAYS SINCE WE HEART ANYTHING FROM U AT ALL

(gay)uanghong: OMG GOOD UR NOT DEAD

cyberEmil: why havent u been picking up my calls

pikachit: U BETTER HAVE A GOOD EXCUSE, YOUNG MAN

theonlygoodgemini: not a man

pikachit: U BETTER HAVE A GOOD EXCUSE, YOUNG ONE

theonlygoodgemini: better

Leo♫: r u alright pal where weRE U we were worried

theonlygoodgemini: i watched all the harry potter films back to back in a row, slept for 15 hours, then watched both season one and two of rick and morty in one sitting

theonlygoodgemini: sorry i didnt respond

katsukidon: WTF THATS NOT HEALTHY

katsukidon: DID U TAKE ANY BREAKS??????

theonlygoodgemini: i told u i slept for 15 hours

katsukidon: OK BUT THATS STILL

katsukidon: LIKE

katsukidon: 24 HOURS OF U JUST SAT WATCHING 

theonlygoodgemini: its closer to 30 bc harry potter totals to nearly 20 hours and rick and morty was like 10

katsukidon: HAVE U EATEN

theonlygoodgemini: i had cereal

pikachit: why wasnt i invited

theonlygoodgemini: i didnt plan it sorry it just happened accidentally

assman: how do u ‘accidentally’ spend 30 hours watching tv

theonlygoodgemini: it happens more often than you’d think

Leo♫: tbh sometimes i get so immersed in a game i play for like 15 hours straight and dont realise

pikachit: omg remember tht time i came over and we played smash for almost 24 hours and neither of us had eaten or drank the whole time and we both needed to pee 

Leo♫: that was the worst idea we had we smelled so bad

katsukidon: WHAT IS WRONG W U GUYS WHY DIDNT U EAT

Leo♫: we did after we realised itd been so long

pikachit: then we started playing again for another 11 hours

(gay)uanghong: i wish i had the attention span for tht wtf tht seems like so much fun

pikachit: we shld do it again some time

katsukidon: STOP NO WHY DO U GUYS LIKE SUFFERING

theonlygoodgemini: it wasnt suffering i had a great time

Leo♫: it was fun ngl but we were wrecked after

katsukidon: am i the only sane one in this family

pikachit: yeah

(gay)uanghong: probably

Leo♫: umm offended

 

-

 

cyberEmil: does anyone wanna explain to me why the fuck a lifesize cardboard cutout of pewdiepie just got delivered to my house

Leo♫: omfg

Thing1: ???????? 

Thing2: u kinda look like him ngl

pikachit: RIGHT?!??!?! HE DOES

cyberEmil: i do not

Thing2: take it as a compliment, hes hot

(gay)uanghong: maybe it showed up bc ur still in cahoots w pewdiepie

cyberEmil: im NOT

cyberEmil: what the fuck am i meant to do with this

(gay)uanghong: selfie with it

(gay)uanghong: put it in bed with u

(gay)uanghong: in the shower

cyberEmil: did u do this guang hong

(gay)uanghong: no omg i dont even have a job i have no money

cyberEmil: wHO WAS IT

cyberEmil: PHICHIT

pikachit: I WISH I CLD TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS BUT NO IT WASNT ME

cyberEmil: THEN WHO???????

Leo♫: i literally have no idea who tht couldve been omg

RussianTiger: it was victor

vitya: UR SUCH A SNAKE YURI WTF

pikachit: omG victor im sobbign

cyberEmil: victor why

vitya: it was meant to be a secret but SOMEONE had to ruin it

vitya: i was gonna deliver u a mini one too

vitya: and i sent a lifesize cut out of scarlett johansson to milas house but i guess now THATS RUINED TOO

liftqueen: I DONT EVEN LOOK LIKE HER

vitya:  u rly do

pikachit: omg send one to yuri thts of hillary clinton

RussianTiger: what the fuck i look nothing like hillary clinton

pikachit: u have the same hait

RussianTiger: kill yourself

liftqueen: im gonna send one of Gru from despicable me to victor

vitya: why

liftqueen: u sound just like him lmao

pikachit: holy shit u do

liftqueen: rIGHT

vitya: . god fucking damn it

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres a hamilton reference in there somewhere because i hate myself


	17. virginity is a social construct

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is me being petty towards 'criticism' and also self indulgent gayness lol enjoy

pikachit: so im reading this fanfic rn

pikachit: dont judge me ik you guys read fanfic too

pikachit: and this one is like,, written as if its  group chat??? and its actually amazin omg it lit feels as if im reading our gc

(gay)uanghong: omg yesssss chat fics r my fav ngl

pikachit: rigHT theyre always great

pikachit: ok but in the comments of this one im reading rn some ppl are calling the author ‘extra’ bc theyve headcanoned all the characters to be lgbt+??? and im like????? why is tht extra

pikachit: like a lot of the characters are trans which im sO DOWN FOR HECK YEAH and ppl in the comments are like “thats so unrealistic and extra” 

assman: how is it unrealistic i dont get it its just fiction

(gay)uanghong: literally all my friends are queer its not ‘unrealistic’ for everyone in a group chat to be queer

pikachit: EXACTLY LIKE FFFFFFFF QUEER PPL JUST TEND TO. GRAVITATE TOWARDS ONE ANOTHER SO ITS NOT EXTRA TO HEADCANON A GROUP OF PPL AS ALL LGBT+ 

pikachit: i feel like im more mad abt this than i shld be im sorry 

assman: its chill my guy i feel u

katsukidon: breakign news: phichit chu is a fanboy LOSER

pikachit: breakign news: katsuki yuuri used to write self insert fic about victor nikiforov on livejournal when he was a teenager

(gay)uanghong: omfG is thsi true

 

**_katsukidon_ ** _ has left the conversation. _

 

RussianTiger: woooowww thats embarrassing

liftqueen: its not even 9am yet how have u managed to ##rek yuuri already

pikachit: its my specialty :)

liftqueen: wheres victor he needs to see this

(gay)uanghong: ok but. reciepts pls 

(gay)uanghong: links or it didnt happen

pikachit: i got u i got u brb lemme find

(gay)uanghong: phichit my lord and saviour

vitya: hi i arrived 

vitya: yuuri just very pointedly told me not to look at the chat so now im here and hes tryigdnjsfkjnasbfhjkhbjkhfcd

(gay)uanghong: victor r u okay

vitya: yeah omg he keeps tryign to steal my phjjfkajs\kfhjdsjngkfjcjnrfkjhvjzsjfhgskazldgjhdjskdzlogkijhvjfcnklgjnhfdkbhjdxkfvnfhjgnhfvfhbgvbfhfujgbvhfgbvufg

(gay)uanghong: omgggg

pikachit: HERE U GO 

pikachit:  [ yuuri’sgayfanfic.pdf ](http://image.prntscr.com/image/0af96743056647de918b24b51b545b02.png)

(gay)uanghong: phichit i owe u my life

pikachit: @ everyone in this chat pls read this im sobbing its so fuckign funny i cant believe

Leo ♫: jesus christ

Leo♫: thats. Amazing

Leo♫: his little fuckng tangent about how he wants to sLEEP IN HIS HAIR IM DONE

liftqueen: omfg 

assman: this is absolutely adorable 

assman: wheres victor he needs to see this

pikachit: probably struggling with yuuri ogdmf

RussianTiger: im going to Commit

chickennugget: does this mean i have to delete my self insert fic about yuuri :////

pikachit: fJZHFHDHJFSD MINAMI

RussianTiger: ew why wld u evr write tht

RussianTiger: i thought u were alright but now no

RussianTiger: of all th ppl u wld write abt urself with u pick tht pig why

RussianTiger: hes ugly and fat and untalented and gross and engaged to a prick

RussianTiger: ugh whatever

pikachit: omg yuri

Leo♫: ……..

chickennugget: im sorry yuri pls i was joking

RussianTiger: sure u were

chickennugget: i was i promise omg pls ive never written any fanfic about yuuri 

chickennugget: i swear on my life

pikachit: why do u care yuri…...  do u have some…..feelings you need to discuss….

RussianTiger: go fuck urself hamster boy

Leo♫: get fuckin reamed son

pikachit: d a m n i just got told

pikachit: come here then lil kitty say that to my face

(gay)uanghong: fight fight fight fight fight fight fight

chickennugget: nO FIGHTS PLS

chickennugget: yuri just admit u have a big gay crush on me and u want me to write stories about us sharing a domestic life together

 

**_RussianTiger_ ** _ has left the conversation. _

 

pikachit: fHGSDHD NOW BOTH YURIS ARE GONE

liftqueen: why r they both so embarrassing to themselves omg they dont even have to try

(gay)uanghong: truuuuuuuuu

pikachit: hes such a tsundere honestly when will he admit to his ##ultimate feelings

chickennugget: we lit spoke about it the morning after the party when u messaged me abt it phichit

chickennugget: but he was all defensive abt it omg

pikachit: its so cute ngl u guys r such polar opposites ur Meant To Be 

vitya: hi guys im currently locked in the bathroom yuuri is banging on the door telling me not to read the thing but i just did 

pikachit: omg opinions???

vitya: its kinda cute ngl im flattered!!!!!!! He probably shouldve gotten a beta reader though, the writing couldve been better

Leo♫: TRUST VICTOR TO HAVE ACTUAL CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM TO FANFIC ABOUT HIM WRITTEN BY HIS FIANCE

 

**_pikachit_ ** _ added _ **_katsukidon_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

pikachit: hey yuuri remember that time in detroit when u had a wet dream about victor xxxxxxxx

(gay)uanghong: oh my GOD

katsukidon: hey phichit remember that time when you  _ sucked my fucking dick _ xxxxxxx

Leo♫: yuuri isnt taking any shit today

pikachit: at least i didnt jack off to some random russian guy for 7 years before even meeting him :) xxxxxx

katsukidon: at least i get fucked on the regular by the most famous guy in skating :) what about u phichit hows that virginity doing? lost it yet? :) didnt think so xxxxx

vitya: … jfc yuuri

(gay)uanghong: HOLY SHIT OMG

assman: wow i never took yuuri for a savage

Leo♫: i dont wanna ever get on the wrong side of yuuri he’ll rip me to shreds 

pikachit: u win this round katsuki

pikachit: but dont forget who ur messing with

pikachit: ive got dirt on u for days

pikachit: i know where to find those old pictures of you in those….compromising positions…. and i will post them if i have to :)

Leo♫: do i even wanna know what that means

assman: i do omg phichit hmu

pikachit: nah im not tht much of a snitch 

pikachit: i only dish the dirt when necessary

katsukidon: omg i forgot all about those brb killing myself

chickennugget: i thought u guys were friends why r u so mean to eachother :((((((

katsukidon: omg noo minami pls we r friends its just banter

(gay)uanghong: spooky banter ngl im scared of u both

pikachit: we arE FRIENDS I PROMISE ITS JUST JOKES WE R BESTIES SO WE DISS EACHOTHER OFTEN PLS 

katsukidon: ##bffs

 

**_pikachit_ ** _ renamed the conversation “ _ **_yuuri katsuki sucks dick for spare change_ ** _ ”. _

 

katsukidon: not true

vitya: i have never onced payed yuuri for a blowjob

 

**_katsukidon_ ** _ renamed the conversation “ _ **_i dont do that but what would be the problem if i did stop slut shaming me_ ** _ ”. _

 

pikachit: maybe u shld start charging

pikachit: youve got a pretty mouth im sure u cld make some £££££££

katsukidon: im in a monogamous relationship phichit

pikachit: charge victor

katsukidon: im not gonna chARGE MY FIANCE FOR A BLOW JOB

pikachit: hes rich as hell he cld afford it

vitya: pls no

 

-

 

**_pikachit_ ** _ added  _ **_RussianTiger_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

pikachit: yuri

pikachit: are u ready to confess ur ULTIMATE FEELINGS

RussianTiger: go away

assman: aw cmon dont be shy kid

RussianTiger: dont call me kid

chickennugget: yuri

RussianTiger: what

chickennugget: wld u rather have this conversation privately

RussianTiger: id rather not have it at all

pikachit: yuri pls

RussianTiger: leave me alone???????

chickennugget: yuri i rly like you

chickennugget: like. i like like u

Leo♫: omg when was the last time anyone said ‘like like’

pikachit: leo shut up theyre having a moment

Leo♫: sorry

chickennugget: ik we havent known eachother for very long but i think ur really cool and nice 

chickennugget: i mean. ur cold and mean to everyone else but uve always been nice to me

RussianTiger: minami

chickennugget: and i really admire ur skating!!! ur so talented for ur age and im half envious bc ur so much better than me and im older than you but also im so happy when i watch u skate bc ur so passionate about it and ur dedication rly pays off

RussianTiger: minami

chickennugget: and ur rly cute too like ik u dont take compliments very well but ur hair is rly nice and even tho it covers half ur face all the time i still think ur cute and ur eyes are so pretty

chickennugget: u act all stoic and stuff but ive seen u blush a few times and its the cutest thing in the world ur like a fluffy kitten 

RussianTiger: ..minami

chickennugget: and when u tie like only he top part of ur hair back it looks so good 

chickennugget: i mean it always looks good of course but idk i rly like it like tht u shld do tht more often

RussianTiger: jesus christ can u just shut up for like one second?????

chickennugget: im sorry

chickennugget: im really sorry yuri i didnt mean to annoy yoy

RussianTiger: stop it

RussianTiger: ur not annoying me

RussianTiger: ur embarrassing me yeah

RussianTiger: ur so sappy

RussianTiger: but ur cute too i guess

pikachit: ITS HAPPENING

Leo♫: bitch u told me to shut up now its ur turn to shut up

chickennugget: u dont have to just say tht to make me feel better

RussianTiger: no no im not

RussianTiger: i dont say anything ti make anyone feel better ever 

RussianTiger: i speak my mind and. i think ur cute 

RussianTiger: and i like like u too

chickennugget: really??!?!?!?!

RussianTiger: ye

chickennugget: oh my gOD THEN WHY R U ALWAYS BEING SO OBLIVIOUS AND DODGING THE QUESTIONS

RussianTiger: idk how to get close to ppls ffff im sorry i didnt wanna fuck anything up

chickennugget: UR SUCH A LOSER WTF IM SO HAPPY

pikachit: i ship it

Leo♫: oh my god shut UP

chickennugget: does this mean ull date me

RussianTiger: ye i guess so

chickennugget: heLL YEAH

chickennugget: HEY EVERYONE LOOK IVE GOT A BOYFRIEND

pikachit: I SHIP

pikachit: PLINAMI

(gay)uanghong: omg cute ship name

pikachit: riGHT???

RussianTiger: ur all embarrassing

Leo♫: umm dont call us embarrassing ur the one who just confessd ur feelings in the group chat

Pikachit: *ULTIMATE FEELINGS

Leo♫: right sorry, ur ULTIMATE FEELINGS

RussianTiger: shut up

chickennugget: hey can i come over ?? ik we literally just got together but i wanna see u in person

pikachit: young love is so sweet

RussianTiger: yea if u want

 

**_pikachit_ ** _ renamed the conversation “ _ **_ULTIMATE FEELINGS_ ** _ ”. _

 

(gay)uanghong: oh phichit if ur naming the chat ultimate feelings then dont YOU have any feelings to confess ;););););)));)

pikachit: fgshfg die in a fire

(gay)uangong: gladly

(gay)uanglong: leo get the gasoline ill light the match

Leo♫: no

(gay)uanghong: cmon phichit ;)));));)) its only fair ;);););)

pikachit: lit hes not even here rn also its Not That Deep we dont rly talk much

assman: whos this about

(gay)uanghong: phichit fancies seung-gil

pikachit: i dont FANCY HIM

pikachit: im just. A lil bit into him

assman: arent we all

assman: everyones a sucker for the cool ones

pikachit: paws off bitc if anyone here is getting in his pants its me

assman: ayyy ik ik im js i can appreciate a pretty dude when i see one

Leo♫: phichit chu, confirmed virgin, talks about getting in seung-gils pants

(gay)uanghong: omg he must be in LOVE

(gay)uanghong: he waNTS TO LOSE HIS VIRGINITY TO SEUNG-GIL

(gay)uanghong: OOOOOOOO

Leo♫: oooOOOOOOOOOOOO

pikachit: nO ITS A JOKE ITS A FIGURE OF SPEECH

(gay)uanghong: SUUUUUURE IT IS

theonlygoodgemini: virginity is a social construct

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyones forgotten about plinami now tht otayuri is a thing and this upsets me


	18. ULTIMATE FEELINGS: CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i rushed this af so i cld get it up on xmas eve in my timezone.

pikachit: wheres sara and mickey they havent been here in a while

katsukidon: or emil

pikachit: or seung gil but hes probably being an idiot and marathoning smth for 258564646 hours again

Thing1: PREPARE FOR TROUBLE

Thing2: MAKE IT DOUBLE

Thing1: TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM DEVASTATION

Thing2: TO UNITE ALL SKATERS FROM EVERY NATION

katsukidon: dear god

Thing1: TO DENOUNCE THE EVILS OF TRUTH AND LOVE

Thing2: TO EXTEND OUR REACH TO THE STARS ABOVE

Thing1: SARA

Thing2: MICHELE

Thing1: THE CRISPINO TWINS BLAST OFF AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT

Thing2: SURRENDER NOW OR PREPARE TO FIGHT

cyberEmil: EMIL! THATS RIGHT

katsukidon: are u done

Thing2: yeah

katsukidon: great

katsukidon: r u guys like. always poised and ready to use that

Thing1: of course we are

pikachit: tbh goals i wish i had a pal like tht

katsukidon: we can be team rocket

pikachit: but we dont have a meowth

pikachit: we dont have a pet

cyberEmil: uM IM MORE THAN JUST AN ACCESSORY FOR SARA AND MICKEY

Thing1: keep tellin urself that boo xxx

pikachit: omg rekt

katsukidon: what abt other yuri

RussianTiger: no

RussianTiger: idk what ur talking about but no

pikachit: tbh minami wld be a better meowth

chickennugget: i like meowth but there r better pokemon

katsukidon: thts not what we meant tho like ur the meowth to our team rocket

chickennugget: im flattered i cant believe yuuri katsuki thinks im like meowth <33333

pikachit: careful what u say about yuuri, ur boyfriend might get jealous

RussianTiger: go fuck urself chulanont

pikachit: :)

chickennugget: whats everyones fav pokemon tho i rly like mienfoo

pikachit: u have the same colour scheme as mienfoo omg

chickennugget: tbh thts whi i like it

Thing1: rapidash always i lov rapidash

pikachit: gOOD CHOICE

Thing2: bulbasaur he was my first starter hes always in my heart

assman: tbh i like lickitung just bc its so fucking funny

assman: ive never played pokemon or seen the show but my boyf loves it thts the only reason ik what tht one is

RussianTiger: zangoose and purrloin

katsukidon: fuCKFKFH LICKITUNG

Thing1: an actual awful pokemon

assman: dont be rude to lickitung hes the only one i know

assman: exchept pikerchu

pikachit: PIKERCHU EXCUSE ME LOOK AT MY DANG SCREEN NAME AND TRY AGAIN

assman: pikachu sorry

chickennugget: tbh yuri u look like a zangoose

RussianTiger: tf is that supposed to mean

pikachit: trust the kitten to pick to cat pokemon

chickennugget: angery looking, cld probably kill u but also super cute and u wld take the possibility of death for a chance to pet it

katsukidon: gayyyyyyyyyy

pikachit: thats cute omg my bois

RussianTiger: . thanks

pikachit: contrary to popular belief. my fav pokemon isnt pikachu

(gay)uanghong: GASP!!!!!!!

(gay)uanghong: this ##controversy summoned me hi

pikachit: its not controversy

cyberEmil: ok but ur name is pikachit hmmmm smells suspicious to me

pikachit: shuT ur mouth i like pikachu but he aint my fav

Pikachit: i like lucario

chickennugget: an awesome choice ngl

katsukidon: huh i wldve penned u as a zigzagoon kinda guy

pikachit: as cute as zigzagoon is. i love lucario

chickennugget: guang hong whats ur fav???

(gay)uanghong: buizel all the fuckign wayyyyy

katsukidon: BUIZEL IS SO CUTEEEEEEEE

(gay)uanghong: RIGHT????

vitya: whats the one thats just a nose

chickennugget: nosepass?

vitya: i like that one

RussianTiger: ofc u do

pikachit: im so upset tht pokemon go is irrelevant now

pikachit: it was awesome it made me feel like the cool pokemon trainer i always wanted to be

katsukidon: riGHT i feel stupid playing it now tht everyones over it

 

 **_katsukidon_ ** _renamed the conversation “_ **_pokemon trainers_ ** _”._

 

pikachit: finally. my life dream, realised

chickennugget: have u played sun/moon yet

pikachit: i haVENT I RLY WANNA BUT MY DS BROKE SO I NEED A NEW ONE

chickennugget: THATS SO TRAGIC

pikachit: rt if u cri evertim

katsukidon: rt

Thing2: rt

(gay)uanghong: rt

chickennugget: rt

Thing1: rt

assman: rt

cyberEmil: rt

RussianTiger: whats the opposite of retweeting

pikachit: deleting ur fucking account

 

 **_RussianTiger_ ** _left the conversation._

 

cyberEmil: omg stop bullying the child

pikachit: never

katsukidon: how DARE he leave

 

 **_pikachit_ ** _added_ **_RussianTiger_ ** _to the conversation._

 

pikachit: theres no escape

RussianTiger: i want to escape

RussianTiger: also dont call me a child emil u look like fucking pewdiepie

cyberEmil: will u guys ever let that go

Thing1: no its ur thing now

(gay)uanghong: can i film u skating and put it online and title it smth like “PEWDIEPIE IS A FIGURE SKATER???!!! **NOT CLICKBAIT!**”

cyberEmil: please do not

(gay)uanghong: too late

(gay)uanghong: [link]

pikachit: u work fast

(gay)uanghong: :)

cyberEmil: whats with the music

(gay)uanghong: copyright

(gay)uanghong: i lit just made that channel so i cld post that. Ive had this channel for 5 mins and i already have a copyright strike

(gay)uanghong: the things i do for u guys

cyberEmil: i TOLD U NOT TO

(gay)uanghong: i do what i want

 

-

 

 _(To: ‘_ **_24/7 moral support_ ** _’_ ~~((or whatever i named it tbh i cant remember if i changed the name of this gc since it was called tht but whatever its the one with just phichit guang hong and yuuri ok cool))~~

 

katsukidon: guys

katsukidon: i need ur help

pikachit: whats up homie

katsukidon: its victors birthday tomorrow and idk what to do for it

(gay)uanghong: ur so unprepared

katsukidon: ffffffff pls i got him gifts and stuff but i dunno what to do on the day

katsukidon: also its xmas??? And we dont celebrate it but idk idk

pikachit: take him to a loooooove hotel ;)))

katsukidon: delete urself

(gay)uanghong: hey thts not even tht bad of an idea like ik u were jokin p but like. U guys live with ur FAMILY u deserve an evening alone ;)

katsukidon: i. hate u both????

pikachit: lsiten its a good idea

(gay)uanghong: go see all the lights!!!! They have illuminations for winter around town so,,,, itll be cute and u cld go out for dinner too

katsukidon: thats cute and simple omg why didnt i think of tht before ffff

pikachit: what did u get him for gifts???

katsukidon: ffff okay i got him a few little bits n bobs

katsukidon: but i spent like the past couple months making this lil scrapbook thing of photos and stuff

(gay)uanghong: THATS CUTE AND GAY

katsukidon: like all the photos we’ve taken since he moved here and ik he hasnt even been here a year yet but theres a surprising amount

katsukidon: a lot courtesy of phichit  and also competition photogrphers

pikachit: sEE my frequent use of my phone has its benefits

pikachit: i helped yuuri with his gay scrapbook

katsukidon: ffFF IM WORRIED WHAT IF HE DOESNT LIKE IT

(gay)uanghong: SHUT UP MATE hes gonna love it there is no reason why he wouldnt love it

katsukidon: what if its too cheesy

pikachit: ur literally engaged it doesnt matter how cheesy u r

katsukidon: tbh lowkey pissed off tht we r engaged bc i was planning on doing tht on his birthday but then. I got carried away and did it last month kms

pikachit: u shld sing smth for him

pikachit: write him a song

katsukidon: nOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

pikachit: why not

pikachit: wait

phichit: DOES HE NOT KNOW U SING

katsukidon: ITS NEVER COME UP

pikachit: u have known each other almost a year and ur engaged how does he not know

pikachit: what about the piano

katsukidon: hes asked abt tht bc he saw it in the house but i just said i used to play it

pikachit: why the fuck u lyin

(gay)uanghong: ʷʰʸ ᵗʰᵉ fᵘͨᵏ ʸºᵘ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ, ʷʰʸ ʸºᵘ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ, ᵐᵐᵐᵐᵐᵐ ºʰ ᵐʸ ᵍºᵈ ˢᵗºp fᵘͨᵏ'ⁿ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ

katsukidon: ITS EMBARRASSING

katsukidon: IM NOT EVEN GOOD

pikachit: ʷʰʸ ᵗʰᵉ fᵘͨᵏ ʸºᵘ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ, ʷʰʸ ʸºᵘ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ, ᵐᵐᵐᵐᵐᵐ ºʰ ᵐʸ ᵍºᵈ ˢᵗºp fᵘͨᵏ'ⁿ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ

(gay)uanghong: ʷʰʸ ᵗʰᵉ fᵘͨᵏ ʸºᵘ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ, ʷʰʸ ʸºᵘ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ, ᵐᵐᵐᵐᵐᵐ ºʰ ᵐʸ ᵍºᵈ ˢᵗºp fᵘͨᵏ'ⁿ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ

katsukidon: STOP

pikachit: mate ur like. a god on the piano

pikachit: and ur voiCE I DIE

pikachit: highkey want u to sing me to sleep like every night for the rest of my life

katsukidon: ur so bad for my ego

(gay)uanghong: pls ur good

katsukidon: gUYS

pikachit: u better fuckin sing to him tomorrow

katsukidon: its EMBARRASSING NO

pikachit: if u dont ill show him tht video of u singing playing the keyboard back in detroit

katsukidon: why do u like to see me suffer

(gay)uanghong: its not suffering he will love it and u will both live happily ever after

katsukidon: i hate u bothhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh )

 

-

 

 _To: ‘_ **_pokemon trainers_ ** _’_

 

Leo♫: MERRY CHRISTAS EVERYONE

chickennugget: MERRY CHRISTMASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

theonlygoodgemini: happy holidays

katsukidon: woah its christmas

Leo♫: indeed it is, my friend

katsukidon: happy birthday jesus

vitya: my names victor, babe

(gay)uanghong: ur basically the jesus of skating soooo

Vitya: ur my new favourite

(gay)uanghong: :)

Leo♫: guang hong r u dressed

(gay)uanghong: no i lit just woke up

Leo♫: get dressed

Leo♫: and come here

Leo♫: bring a coat and gloves

(gay)uanghong: its EARLYYYYYY

Leo♫: its 10am

Leo♫: come on

(gay)uanghong: my boyfriend is ABUSIVE

pikachit: this is such a lie just go see him

pikachit: plus, at least u have a boyfriend

katsukidon: phichit ;)))) this cld change ;))))))))

pikachit: die

katsukidon: isnt there a certain person ;)))) who u have ;)))) feelings for ;))))))

Leo♫: *ULTIMATE FEELINGS

pikachit: its christmas stop making fun of me

katsukidon: u did this to urself

Leo♫: u said u wanted to lose ur virginity to him

pikachit: I DIDNT SAY THOSE EXACT WORDS WTF

pikachit: THAT SENTENCE SOUNDS A LOT MORE SERIOUS THAN WHAT I MEANT

katsukidon: r u sure u dont want a serious relationship with him???

katsukidon: se(ung-gil)rious

pikachit: oh my god

theonlygoodgemini: i can see your messages you know

Leo♫: ya thts why we r doin it

Leo♫: so u can see and phichit can stop being a pussy ass bitch

pikachit: i hate my friends

 

 **_Leo♫_ ** _renamed the conversation: ‘_ **_ULTIMATE FEELINGS: CHRISTMAS SPECIAL_ ** _’._

 

theonlygoodgemini: phichit private message me

pikachit: ffffffuck okay

Leo♫: YOOOOOOOOOOOO ITS HAPPENING

katsukidon: YOOOO

assman: whatd i miss

katsukidon: its christmas and phichit and seung-gil r having a ‘talk’

assman: EXCITING

katsukidon: RIGHT

chickennugget: this chat is just. people getting together every other day

katsukidon: tru

katsukidon: we have the power of love it makes everyone here gay

liftqueen: i heard the word gay hi whats up

assman: ok relatable

katsukidon: r u gay mila omg yes

liftqueen: yuuri i have a girlfriend

katsukidon: WHAT

katsukidon: WHO

Thing1: hi

assman: totally didnt see that coming

liftqueen: i dont need ur sarcasm, ass man

chickennugget: this is cute i love this gay family

Thing1: <3

liftqueen: <3

katsukidon: are there any OTHER RELATIONSHIPS I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT

RussianTiger: idk but apparently georgi has a new girlfriend

liftqueen: yeah shes  blonde right??

RussianTiger: i think so

katsukidon: damn so soon after him like. breaking down on the ice over anya

liftqueen: idk at least hes not sobbing over her anymore

katsukidon: tru tru

 

-

 

 _(private message:_ **_theonlygoodgemini_ ** _and_ **_pikachit_ ** _:_

 

pikachit: um hi u told me to pm u

theonlygoodgemini: yeah

theonlygoodgemini: you dont have to keep getting your friends to say stuff like that

theonlygoodgemini: just say it to me and not through them

pikachit: nooO im not making them say it fgdf pls they just wanna embarrass me

pikachit: im so sorry about them

theonlygoodgemini: so its a joke then

pikachit: yeah

pikachit: i meaN

pikachit: KINDA

pikachit: ffsjhsdgd the way theyre saying it is a joke like the way theyre makin it sound so serious

pikachit: but idk. ur cute

theonlygoodgemini: right

pikachit: im really sorry

pikachit: ill tell them to stop

theonlygoodgemini: dont worry about it

theonlygoodgemini: how about we go out later

pikachit: omg what

theonlygoodgemini: for lunch

pikachit: are u serious

pikachit: dude u dont have to say tht bc u feel bad for me omg its chill i get it

theonlygoodgemini: im not, im just saying we should get lunch together

pikachit: aaaaaa okay yeah thatd be great !!!! where shld we go?

theonlygoodgemini: i dont know

theonlygoodgemini: just meet me at the market at 1

pikachit: okay!!! Awesome!!!!!!!

theonlygoodgemini: alright then     )

 

-

 

 _To: ‘_ **_24/7 moral support_ ** _’_

 

pikachit: GUYS

pikachit: GUSYGUSYGSUGUGYUGYSGUSY

katsukidon: WHAT

katsukidon: WHAT DID SEUNG GIL SAY

pikachit: WHERES GUANG HONH FIRST I NEEDA TELL HIM TOO

katsukidon: i think hes gone out w leo for the day anyway he wiLL SEE IT LATER JUST TELL ME

pikachit: FFFFFFFF OKAY

pikachit: HE THOUGHT I WAS TELLING U GUYS TO SAY ALL THT EMBARRASSING STUFF TO GET HIS ATTENTION OMG

katsukidon: FDHFKSDG AMAZING

pikachit: AND I EXPLAINED I WASNT

pikachit: AND WE R GOING OUT FOR LUNCH TOGETHER

katsukidon: OMG YEEEEESSSSSSSS MY BOY

pikachit: IM SO SCARED HES SO INTIMIDATING WHAT IF HE STANDS ME UP

katsukidon: HE WONT I DONT THINK HES THT KIND OF GUY

pikachit: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF WHAT DO I WEAR

katsukidon: CLOTHES

pikachit: NOT HELPFUL

katsukidon: SMTH WARM

katsukidon: WEAR THT CUTE JUMPER U HAVE THE LIGHT BLUE ONE WITH THE CLOUDS , ITLL BE COVERED BY UR COAT BUT STILL ITS CUTE

pikachit: GOOD IDEA I LIKE THT ONE

pikachit: YUURI THE FASHION COACH

katsukidon: THTS ME

katsukidon: also didnt leo say he wanted to have a xmas party or smth

pikachit: omg ye i almost forgot about tht he said tht all the way back in chapter 13

katsukidon: what

pikachit: nothing

pikachit: i assume hes forgotten??

(gay)uanghong: HE HAS NOT FORGOTTEN IT IS STILL HAPPENING

(gay)uanghong: OK MAYBE HE DID FORGET

(gay)uanghong: BUT IM RE-PLANNING IT. ITS HAPPENING. EVERYONE COME OVER TO HIS TONIGHT

pikachit: u might wanna say tht in the main gc

(gay)uanghong: his house isnt big enough for everyone now tht the gc is so big

pikachit: just invite the ###original squad

(gay)uanghong: i cant say tht in the gc thatd be peak if i was just like SOME OF U R INVITED

katsukidon: just invite them to this chat momentarily to tell them

(gay)uanghong: isnt it peak to remove them from the chat afterwards

katsukidon: eh they wont mind

(gay)uanghong: alright

 

 _(gay)uanghon_ g _added_ **_RussianTiger_ ** _,_ **_chickennugget_ ** _, and_ **_theonlygoodgemini_ ** _to the conversation._

 

(gay)uanghong: sup my dudes leo is havin a christmas party later be there or be square

chickennugget: whats this chat

(gay)uanghong: dont mind it

(gay)uanghong: come to the party

chickennugget: what time

(gay)uanghong: come over anytime after 7

chickennugget: nICE ill be there

RussianTiger: okay

(gay)uanghong: nice one dudes

(gay)uanghong: seung-gil wbu

theonlygoodgemini: ill think about it

(gay)uanghong: well u know his address if u wanna come

(gay)uanghong: okay thanks guys

(gay)uanghong: dont talk abt this in the main gc also

(gay)uanghong: cya later bye

 

 ** _(gay)uanghong_** _removed_ **_RussianTiger_ ** _,_ **_chickennugget_ ** _, and_ **_theonlygoodgemini_ ** _from the conversation._

 

katsukidon: that was fast omg

(gay)uanghong: i didnt want them to get suspicious of this chat omg

katsukidon: minami lit got suspicious straight away

(gay)uanghong: shhhhhhhhhh

(gay)uanghong: also i forgot to add victor , invite him

katsukidon: k

katsukidon: we r gna be a lil late tho bc vics birthday

(gay)uanghong: thts cool my dude

pikachit: WHYD U DO THT SEUNG-GIL CLDVE SEEN WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT ABOVE

(gay)uanghong: wait what were u talking abt above lemme scroll up

(gay)uanghong: OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

pikachit: YE

(gay)uanghong: yooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(gay)uanghong: my boi gettin laid

pikachit: ITS NOT LIKE THT ITS JUST LUNCH PLS

(gay)uanghong: ;))))

(gay)uanghong: ok i gotta go leo is gettin antsy bc im not paying attention to him bye

katsukidon: never wldve taken leo to be clingy

pikachit: idk i can kinda see it

katsukidon: eh

katsukidon: ANYWAY

katsukidon: WHENS UR DATE

pikachit: ITS NOT A DATE

katsukidon: its basically a date

pikachit: nO

katsukidon: but u wld LIKE for it to be a date right

pikachit: well yeah

katsukidon: then its a date

katsukidon: whens ur date

pikachit: fgdhfgs ok its at 1

katsukidon: NICE

katsukidon: u better live text us the whole thing

pikachit: thats RUDE to ignore him to be on my phone

katsukidon: ur on ur phone all the time anyway he wont notice

pikachit: smh

pikachit: but u better fuckin tell me what victor says about ur singing

katsukidon: ffffffff i wanna die

pikachit: ur gonna do it yuuri :) ur gonna sing to him :) or else u know whatll happen :)

pikachit: hes gonna find out abt ur killer voice one way or another by the end of the day

katsukidon: i Hate u

pikachit: <3333

 

-

 

pikachit: OK WE R IN A PLACE FOR LUNCH AND HOLY SHIT HE LOOKS SO GOOD

katsukidon: GAY

pikachit: IM SHOOK IDK HOW TO SPEAK

katsukidon: DAMN U MUST BE CRUSHING PRETTY HARD IF U, PHICHIT CHULANONT, DONT KNOW HOW TO SPEAK

katsukidon: UR USUALLY THE ONE THT TALKS FOR A MILLION HOURS

pikachit: SHUT UT MOUTH

 

-

 

(gay)uanghong: GUYS LEO BOUGHT ME A BUTT PLUG FOR CHRISTMAS

katsukidon: DID WE REALLY NEED TO KNOW THAT

(gay)uanghong: YES

(gay)uanghong: CMON YUURI U LOVE HEARING ABOUT MY SEX LIFE

katsukidon: tru tbh id be mad if u didnt tell us everything tht happened in ur relationship

pikachit: omg MATE

pikachit: i dare u to wear it for the whole xmas party tonight ;)))

(gay)uanghong: EW STOP ITS WEIRD FOR U TO SUGGEST WHEN I PUT SOMETHING IN MY ASS

pikachit: OK UR RIGHT IM SORRY

(gay)uanghong: ok but leo already suggested tht when he gave me it fsgdfsd

katsukidon: WHY DID U TELL US THIS NOW IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO LOOK U IN THE EYE THE WHOLE NIGHT BC ILL KNOW U HAVE SMTH IN UR ASS

(gay)uanghong: iM NOT GONNA DO IT OMG

(gay)uanghong: dw i pROMISE I WONT

pikachit: can we trust u

(gay)uanghong: ill fuckin show u it later if u want proof

katsukidon: no thank u i dont wanna see smth thts been in ur butt

(gay)uanghong: ITS NOT BEEN IN ME YET I LIT JUST GOT IT

katsukidon: stILL

 

-

 

katsukidon: im gonna do it

pikachit: tmi

katsukidon: what

katsukidon: im gna sing to victor

katsukidon: what the fuck did u think i meant

pikachit: ...oh

pikachit: bUT FGHSJFJGDSH WHAT R U GONNA SING

katsukidon: IDK IM THINKIN SHINE BY YEARS AND YEARS ITS A GD SONG AND ITS EASY ON PIANO

pikachit: IM FUCKIGN SHOOK FILM IT PLS

katsukidon: i cant film it if im playing piano dumbass

(gay)uanghong: gOOD LUCK OMG

(gay)uanghong: when u gonna do it

katsukidon: uhhH SOON

katsukidon: dinner is at 6 so im gna do it after that before we get ready to go see the lights

pikachit: hOOOOOO BOY IM SO EXCITED FOR U

katsukidon: FFFFFFFF THANKS

katsukidon: THAT REMINDS ME UPDATES ON THE SEUNG GIL SITUATION PLS ITS BEEN HOURS

pikachit: HE JUST LEFT RN

pikachit: WE HAD LUNCH AND THEN LOOKED AROUND THE MARKET FOR A BIT AND HE NEEDED TO GET SOME STUFF FOR HIS DOG SO WE WENT TO A PET STORE

(gay)uanghong: THATS GAY

pikachit: RIGHT IM SO GAY

(gay)uanghong: im gna make leo put the sleeping arrangements tonight so u guys r sleeping together ;)))

pikachit: nO DO NOT

pikachit: PROBABLY NOT A GD IDEA

pikachit: hes NOT VERY SOCIAL IDK IF THTS A GD IDEA THIS EARLY ON WE ARENT EVEN DATING

(gay)uanghong: ok ok u right

 

-

 

katsukidon: IM BOUTA DO IT

katsukidon: IM SO FUCKGIDNSCARED

katsukidon: I HAVENT BEENT THSI ANXIOUS SINCE THE GPF

pikachit: BREATHE BRO

pikachit: ITLL BE FINE DW

katsukidon:aAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(gay)uanghong: um i dont remember years and years being a screamo band

katsukidon: shUT THSI IS ME ANXIOUS SCREAMING

pikachit: NO ANXIETY

katsukidon: WOW THANKS U JUST CURED MY MENTAL ILLNESS

pikachit: SHUT UR MOTUH UR GONA BE FINE GO

 

-

 

katukidon: o my GOD THAT WAS TERRIFYING IM SHAKING

pikachit: HOW WAS IT

katsukidon: HE FUCKING CRIED

pikachit: IM NOT SURPRISED  I WLDVE CRIED TOO

pikachit: Ur voice is very pretty

katsukidon: SHHHHUT UP

(gay)uanghong: can u sing for us all at the party later

katsukidon: DEFINITELY NOT

katsukidon: I ALMOST HAS A PANIC ATTACK SINGING FOR MY FIANCE I DONT THINK ID COPE SINGING IN FRONT OF U ALL

pikachit: but ur so gOOOOOD

katsukidon: phichit this was an awful idea victor keeps asking me to sing different songs

katsukidon: the past five minutes have just been “do u know this song on piano?” “can u play this?” “u shld sing this!!”

pikachit: THATS SO CUTE THO

katsukidon: kms

 

-

 

 _To: ‘_ **_ULTIMATE FEELINGS: CHRISTMAS SPECIAL_ ** _’._

 

vitya: why didnt any of u tell me yuuri could sing

assman: yuuri sings?

vitya: YES

vitya: he just sung to me and im crying

vitya: ive been crying for the past ten minutes

kastukidon: victor pls

liftqueen: this is so cute

vitya: yuuri you have the voice of an angel

vitya: i cant believe im engaged to an actual real life angel

katsukidon: viiiiiiictor pLS

vitya: i loVE YOU SO MUCH YOURE MY ANGEL

RussianTiger: get a roooooooooom

katsukidon: victoorhjfsjhgfjkd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> always headcanoned tht yuuri plays piano and sings like a god. so heres tht. also people r writing other gc fics for yoi which is cool af bUT LIKE NOT NAMING NAMES BUT PPL R USING MY USERNAMES FOR CHARACTERS AND MY SCENARIOS AND LIKE EXACT CHARACTERISATION IM LIKE. WYD. WRITE YA OWN SCENARIOS . IS THIS RUDE OF ME TO THINK?? IDK MAN I PUT 30k+ WORDS INTO THIS I DNT WANT PPL NICKING MY IDEAS :((((


	19. a shitty filler chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is just filler bullshit bc i havent updated in 4 days bc ive been playing pokemon moon and i felt bad
> 
> i have a lot i wanna talk about so pls look at the notes at the bottom when ur done <3333

katsukidon: sfhdffss guang hong tell leo tht me and vitya r sorry we r late ff we r on our way now

(gay)uanghong: LATE IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT

(gay)uanghong: ITS 11PM WHERE TF ARE U

katsukidon: soRRY

katsukidon: DATING VICTOR IS LIKE BABYSITTING

katsukidon: WE WENT TO LOOK AT THE LIGHTS AND EVERY TWO SECONDS HE WLD STOP AND STARE AND HE WAS TAKING PHOOTOS OF E V E R Y T H I N G

katsukidon: AND THEN HE WLD JUST RANDOMLY RUN OFF SOMEWHERE

katsukidon: HES LITERALLY A CHILD

(gay)uanghong: EH CUT HIM SOME SLACK HES GOT ADHD

katsukidon: IK ITS NOT HIS FAULT FF ITS RLY ENDEARING ACTUALLY HE WAS SO SHOCKED BY ALL THE LIGHTS

(gay)uanghong: CUTE

(gay)uanghong: DID HE LIKE UR SCRAPBOOK THING

katsukidon: YES EEEEE BUT THTS ANOTHER REASON WHY WE R LATE OMG HE LOOKED AT IT SO INTENSELY AND INSISTED ON RETELLING THE STORY BEHIND EVERY SINGLE PICTURE

(gay)uanghong: OMG BLESS HIM

(gay)uanghong: NOW GET UR ASS OVER HERE

(gay)uanghong: EVERYONES STARTED PARTYING WITHOUT U

katsukidon: IM SORRRRRYYYYY

katsukidon: IS YURI THERE

(gay)uanghong: YEAH HE CAME W MINAMI

katsukidon: AWW BLESS THEM

katsukidon: what abt seung-gil

(gay)uanghong: HE IS HERE TOO IM SURPRISED I DIDNT EXPECT HIM TO SHOW

(gay)uanghong: HIM AND PHICHIT KEEP EXCHANGING EMBARRASSED LOOKS ACCROSS THE ROOM AND BLUSHING

pikachit: THIS IS A LIE

(gay)uanghong: NO ITS NOT

(gay)uanghong: ok guys but i feel proper bad about not inviting chris and sara and mickey and emil and mila

katsukidon: we arent exactly proper close with those guys tho so dw about it

(gay)uanghong: iKKKK but aaAAAA theyre in the main gc i feel like we r leaving them out

pikachit: dw about it bab leos place is far too small to accommodate everyone im sure theyd understand

pikachit: ill invite them to my awesome massive wild birthday party to make up for it

(gay)uanghong: ‘wild’

pikachit: listen i have connections its gonna be wild af

pikachit: plus itll be my 21st so its gotta be good

katsukidon: guang hong dont underestimate him

katsukidon: whilst my college life wasnt exactly ###wild, p was gettin up to tons of mischief

pikachit: aw yuuri u flatter me <3

(gay)uanghong: i dont doubt tht tbh knowing his personality

(gay)uanghong: but the fact tht his last kiss was you like 2 years ago

pikachit: LISTEN I CAN HAVE FUN WITHOUT KISSING PEOPLE DONT JUDGE MY LIFESTYLE

katsukidon: tbh tho ur very good looking how comes u havent been kissed in ages

pikachit: i have standards

katsukidon: ok but. u kissed ME

pikachit: shut the fuck up??? ur good looking who wouldnt wanna kiss u

(gay)uanghong: im telling victor

pikachit: NO PLS DONT HE’LL BURN MY WARDROBE AND EXPOSE ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA

katsukidon: does he have any dirt on u to even expose

pikachit: …….dont question it

katsukidon: omg whAT

(gay)uanghong: HURRY UP

katsukidon: IM COMING SORRY

(gay)uanghong: and phichit stop taking photos of yuri and minami ur not as sneaky as u think ur being

pikachit: fuck

pikachit: theyre so cute thooooooo look at them

pikachit: fuckign. yuris face whenever minami does ANYTHING EVER

pikachit: minami keeps poking him and stuff and yuri looks shook

katsukidon: tbh the only affection he ever gets is from his cat so hes probably not used to this situation

(gay)uanghong: thats kinda sad tbh why dont u give him affection u LIVE TOGETHER

katsukidon: bitch we try

katsukidon: me and victor try to give him affection but the just threatens us and beats us up

katsukidon: last time we tried to cuddle him he elbowed me in the face and split my lip

(gay)uanghong: omg cant believe u got beat up by a 15 year old

pikachit: g ur only like 2 years older than him

(gay)uanghong: did i fucking ask

  


katsukidon: yo we here open up bitch

katsukidon: its cOLd open the damn door

-

katsukidon: GUYS

katsukidon: I WLD JUST WALK IN BUT ITS NOT ON LATCH

katsukidon: DOES LEO KEEP A SPARE KEY ANYWHERE

katsukidon: GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS MY NIPS R FREEZING OFF

-

katsukidon: what the fuck was that noise omg

katsukidon: that sounded like yuri

katsukidon: guYS let me in

-

pikachit: shIT SORRY OMW TO LET U IN

katsukidon: what HAPPENED IN THERE

pikachit: GUANG HONG SUGGESTED WE PLAY GAY CHICKEN

pikachit: AND HE LEANT OVER TO TOUCH YURI AND YURI SCREECHED AND KICKED HIM IN THE HEAD

katsukidon: JESUS IS HE OKAY ALSO WHY DID LEO ALLOW HIM TO DO THT

pikachit: THEYRE BOTH FINE HE ONLY KICKED HIM IN THE FOORHEAD AND BOI IDK LEO IS JUST HAVIN THE TIME OF HIS LIFE HES IN A SANTA OUTFIT

katsukidon: thats adorable omg

katsukidon: now LET US IN VICTOR IS GETTING WHINY

pikachit: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT

 

-

 

 _To:  “_ **_ULTIMATE FEELINGS: CHRISTMAS SPECIAL_ ** _”._

 

Leo♫: agiftfromgod.jpg

assman: what the fuck is happening and why wasnt i invited

assman: why is that kid wrapped in wrapping paper

Leo♫: bc he is ag gfitfrom god

Leo♫: rockinaroundthexmastreelol.jpg

assman: this looks like a fucking satanic ritual

Leo♫: thatsgay.jpg

Leo♫: SHTI I DIDNRT MENA TO SEND THAHHT

Leo♫: SORURY

assman: thanks for the blackmail i can use tht next time victor pisses me off

assman: are u by any chance drunk

Leo♫: ……..NO

assman: why even bother lying

liftqueen: why r u guys talking in this chat jesus christ its 4 am

assman: leo is havin a bitchin party without us

liftqueen: offended

Leo♫: IM SRROTY MY PLACE ISNT BIG ENIUGH FOR EVERTYONE

liftqueen: OFFENDED

liftqueen: but im more offended tht u guys woke me up at 4am shut the fuck up go to bed

Leo♫: but ist crismssmas

liftqueen: shut up

 

-

 

RussianTiger: leo why is there a picture of michael buble on top of the tree

Leo♫: because u put a star on top of the xmas tree

Leo♫: and buble is the star of christmas

RussianTiger: right

 

-

 

(gay)uaghong: if i started a youtube channel who wld watch

assman: no one

(gay)uanghong: um rude

pikachit: i would

pikachit: what wld u make videos about

Leo♫: dont encourage him

(gay)uanghong: idk like. nazi germany and world wars

assman: ……..why

(gay)uanghong: i like history

pikachit: g i love you but no offense i dont think anyone wants to watch u videos about hitler

assman: youd be better off making a gaming channel or smth

assman: be the next pewdiepie

(gay)uanghong: im shit at video games

assman: whats ur point lol all gaming youtubers r shit

pikachit: omg

 

-

 

(gay)uanghong: happy crimmus

pikachit: its chrismim

(gay)uanghong: merry chrisis

pikachit: mery chrystler

assman: what

theonlygoodgemini: theyve been watching that vine on repeat for like 5 minutes

theonlygoodgemini: and doing the thing when u laugh so much tht it doesnt even make a noise anymore

assman: omg salty im not there

liftqueen: guys shut UP IM TIRED

assman: mute the chat

liftqueen: no

liftqueen: ill throw u out a fuckin window

theonlygoodgemini: u dont wish u were here chris trust me

theonlygoodgemini: leo and yuuri have been talking about britpop since yuuri arrived and theyve only played girls aloud and the sugababes all night

assman: sounds great

theonlygoodgemini: why does this always happen ive only been to 2 of these parties yet this shit always happens

theonlygoodgemini: also minami fell asleep wrapped in the wrapping paper so hes just sleeping under the tree wrapped up

pikachit: should we unwrap him

theonlygoodgemini: probably

pikachit: hes so peaceful tho i dont wanna wake him

theonlygoodgemini: eh just leave him then

assman: why did u wrap him up in the first place

theonlygoodgemini: he said smth innocent af and guang hong started yelling about how he was an angel and a gift from god

theonlygoodgemini: so he got wrapped up like a gift

assman: nice

(gay)uanghong: omg the photos leo sent earlier

(gay)uanghong: tht photo of victor and yuuri tho holy shit where was i when tht was taken

(gay)uanghong: ik he pole danced and stripped at the banquet but i didnt expect him to give a lapdance at a little xmas party

pikachit: fshfjskdf its victors birthday let him live

 

-

 

katsukidon: UM WHAT

katsukidon: HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE BANQUET

(gay)uanghong: shit

assman: SHIT

assman: GOD DAMN IT GUANG HONG U BLEW OUR COVER

katsukidon: CHRIS WTF U PROMISED U WOULDNT SHOW THEM

assman: BUT YUURI U LOOK SO SEXY IN THEM U SHLDNT BE EMBARRASSED

katsukidon: I WANT TO KILL MYSELF AND EVERYONE IN THIS CHAT

(gay)uanghong: YUURI PLS U LOOKED GOOD THO

katsukidon: I DONT CARE I HATE U ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

pikachit: hey guys dont u think yuri is like a litten

assman: do u mean a kitten

pikachit: no like the pokemon

pikachit: bc litten is tinie and cute and a lil angery but cute and harmless

pikachit: and then its evolution is this massive fucking fire cat that will rip u apart limb from limb

RussianTiger: this is the best compliment ive ever recieved

vitya: yura why do u try so hard to be intimidating

RussianTiger: i dont

RussianTiger: everyone calls me a fairy it pisses me off

RussianTiger: i wanna be a fire cat

katsukidon: i thought u were the ice tiger

RussianTiger: shut up ill be whatever element i want

pikachit: yuri now [ litten.jpg ](http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/thumb/0/0e/725Litten.png/250px-725Litten.png)

pikachit: yuri on testosterone [ incineroar.jpg ](http://www.pokemon-sunmoon.com/media/uploads/oct_27_assets/incineroar.png)

(gay)uanghong: omg

RussianTiger: fhsdgs u kno it

RussianTiger: me one hour on t [ inc.jpg ](http://img03.deviantart.net/4d26/i/2016/301/9/7/incineroar__sugimori_style__by_alexalan-dak9o48.png)

chickennugget: wow yuri u look so gd here

RussianTiger: thanks ive been working out

Leo♫: its so weird seeing yuri meme

RussianTiger: i have the capacity to meme

RussianTiger: why is thsi surprising

theonlygoodgemini: deja vu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys sorry this chapter is so shitty!!
> 
> first off, i wanted to apologise for how ive acted in the notes of some of my chapters. i am a very petty person and i dont take criticism well. however i stand by the fact that this is my story and that people complaining about the amount of LGBT+ rep in this are being dumb. i couldve handled everything in a much more civilised manner though instead of being a petty bitch so for that im sorry.
> 
> secondly, i wanted to say WOAH THIS IS NEARLY AT 20 CHAPTERS!!!! im in a bit of a slump rn w mental health issues and general lack of motivation so i apologise for the lack of updates, but for chapter 20 (and beyond!!) id like to add in some requests and ideas from anyone who has any!!!! if u have a scenario, however vague or detailed, or a hc (that doesnt contradict one thts already in this fic) and u wld like to see it present in this fic, PLEASE SEND THEM MY WAY TO MY TUMBLR!!!!!! i wld say leave them in the comments here, but i get a lot of comments on here and it overwhelms me so i dont often reply. my tumblr is http://www.yuuchit.tumblr.com!!!!!!!! pls send me stuff!! i cant guarantee ill put it in bc im not the best writer and i might be stuck on how to fit it in, but ill try my best!!!!
> 
> lastly, i wanted to say thank you so much to everyone whos read this fic!!! be it youve read it since the first chapter came out, or u have just read it today, i want to say thank you so much. and thank you all so much for your lovely comments. im sorry that i dwell so much on the negatives and seem to ignore the positives, its a flaw of mine, but please know that i really do appreciate every nice comment i get and it really does make my day. im currently out of college for mental health reasons so my days are very uneventful and long and boring, but seeing people being genuinely nice about this dumb fic that i write and people getting happy about an update or a headcanon....it really makes me feel great <3 ur all amazing people; thank u for bearing with me!!!! :D <3333
> 
> SORRY LONG NOTES ARE LONG FFFFFFF BUT YEA HERES MY SOCIAL MEDIA SEND ME REQS ON TUMBLR ALSO PLS TALK TO ME IM SHY AND WANT FRIENDS!!<3  
> http://yuuchit.tumblr.com  
> http://twitter.com/miilkpunk
> 
> :D<3


	20. royal eyebrow court feat otabae

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i love otabek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the boy is back sorry my updates have been shite lately but ive been sick and busy rip ill get back to more ##memetime asap ok also sorry i havent updated dressed to the nines i have no excuse im just shit at writing anything tht isnt in this format ok bye

vitya: YURIO IS DYING

RussianTiger: im rly not

RussianTiger: and i thought u stopped calling me tht

vitya: U R

vitya: UR REALLY PALE

RussianTiger: yeah no shit mate im white 

RussianTiger: and so are you

vitya: u r whiter than usual

pikachit: thats not how race works

vitya: i dont know how illness works with u but in the West™ we go from White™ to Translucent™ when we get sick

pikachit: that sucks

vitya: mhm

RussianTiger: aight but im not even that sick

katsukidon: son u passed out as soon as u stood up and u didnt wake for like 4 minutes

RussianTiger: yeah im dehydrated idiot

katsukidon: AS SOMEONE WHO PASSES OUT OFTEN I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE CONCERNED. YOU HAVE NEVER PASSED OUT IN FRONT OF ME BEFORE AND THATS A LONG TIME TO BE OUT FOR IF UR SOMEONE WHO DOESNT FAINT OFTEN

pikachit: yuuri remember that one time when u passed out on the ice so i layed down next to u until u woke up so it didnt look like u fell and it just looked like we were ###chillin

katsukidon: ur the real mvp. a tru bro

RussianTiger: im hardly sick

vitya: u r on bedrest until u get better okay son

vitya: no practice no exercise just sleep and rest and cat petting

RussianTiger: ….suddenly i am extremely ill

pikachit: fgfghfd me

liftqueen: ive known yuri like all his life and hes never gotten sick holy shit

liftqueen: i didnt even think he had the capacity to get sick

RussianTiger: i just have a great immune system

liftqueen: goals

 

-

 

assman: happy new years sluts

pikachit: fUCK U GOT THERE BEFORE ME

assman: :)

pikachit: happy new yeAR MY DUDESSSSSSSSSS

cyberEmil: im so happy to see 2016 die

assman: same

Thing2: WHY IS IT A MEME TO HATE 2016

Thing2: LIKE?? EVERYONES BLAMING THEIR SHITTY LIVES ON TIME

Thing2: TIME ISNT EVEN REAL

Thing2: YEARS ARE HUMAN CONSTRUCTIONS

Thing2: AND WHAT WAS SO BAD ABOUT 2016 ANYWAY LIKE STOP HATING IT WAS TRYING ITS BEST

cyberEmil: ok but consider this

cyberEmil: it was shit

pikachit: rt

pikachit: we lost our space mum 

cyberEmil: doNT REMIND ME PLS IM SO UPSET

pikachit: :(

 

-

 

chickennugget: HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pikachit: haPPY NEW YEAR MY DUDE

chickennugget: how did everyone celebrate???

pikachit: i went to yuuri’s place but he fell asleep at 7:30

pikachit: so i let him sleep and woke him just before midnight  

assman: thats adorable omg

pikachit: wbu my chicken child

chickennugget: i didnt do much :((

chickennugget: mainly bc the author wanted to write a whole chapter about new years and some cool shit happening but he’s lazy and also was busy so its too late now

katsukidon: what 

chickennugget: nothing

chickennugget: is yuri okay ??!?!?!?!?!?!

katsukidon: fuCK I SHLD CHECK ON HIM

chickennugget: what happened D:

katsukidon: hes very sick

katsukidon: victor is at his bedside much to yuri’s dismay

RussianTiger: im just sick i dont need u waiting on me hand and foot

pikachit: take advantage of it dude

pikachit: make them wear maid outfits

katsukidon: no thanks

RussianTiger: i really dont want to see that

pikachit: i forget not everyone thinks about using things to their advantage to get blackmail material

katsukidon: why am i friends with u im scared of u

katsukidon: u probably have enough blackmail material to ruin my career, all my personal relationships, and make my family disown me

pikachit: :)

RussianTiger: thats not his fault tht just means ur a freak

RussianTiger: if uve done shit to make ur family disown u then thats on u buddy

katsukidon: shut up

 

-

 

(gay)uanghong: why is it called a ‘significant other’ when ur dating someone

(gay)uanghong: tht implies other ppl who arent ur bae arent significant in ur life

(gay)uanghong: like

(gay)uanghong: phichit is a significant person other than myself in my life but we aint dating

pikachit: </3 sadly

(gay)uanghong: so am i only allowed to have leo ever

(gay)uanghong: is he the only person allowed to be significant in my life

Leo ♫: yes

Leo ♫: i am the ONLY SIGNIFICANT PERSON U ARE ALLOWED

(gay)uanghong: rip bye @ mum @ dad @phichit @ everyone else

(gay)uanghong: im being held hostage 

katsukidon: offended tht im listed under ‘everyone else’ :////

(gay)uanghong: im sorry i love u

Leo♫: SIDE EYE EMOJI X2745638573847

(gay)uanghong: platonically

Leo♫: :)

pikachit: can you maybe chill

Leo♫: how bout maybe YOU chill

katsukidon: im kinda scared of leo

Leo♫: pls no im sorry its just banter im a softie i promise

Leo♫: im not holding g hostage i promise

pikachit: but can i trust u

pikachit: can i trust a guy with a middle part

(gay)uanghong: he is holding me hostage save me

Leo♫: nO

(gay)uanghong: i sound like i love him but its actually stockholm syndrome help me phichit 

Leo♫: dONT SAY SHIT LIKE THAT WHAT IF THE POLICE CAN TRACK CHAT RECORDS AND THEN THEY THINK IM ACTUALLY A KIDNAPPER

pikachit: u worry too much ur worse than yuuri

katsukidon: this is a lie i worry the most

katsukidon: its the only thing im good at

Leo♫: if i go to prison, tell JJ that im sorry i was always rude to him

Leo♫: and that im sorry his eyebrows are so horrendous _~~((DISCLAIMER I GOOGLED ‘YURI ON ICE EYEBROWS’ TO TRY AND FIND A CERTAIN POST ABOUT JJ’S EYEBROWS AND ONE OF THE FIRST IMAGES WAS A NSFW OF YURI P AND IM SHOOK GUYS HES A MINOR STOP))((i found it btw ill link it at the end notes))~~_

pikachit: omg leo

Leo♫: i only spit the truth

Leo♫: the ppl with the best brows are me phichit otabek and seung gil

theonlygoodgemini: flattered

pikachit: omggg im making a gc for the eyebrow kings

katsukidon: wtf why u gotta leave me outta this i need validation

pikachit: get them eyebrows done then babes then we’ll talk

katsukidon: die

  
  


**_pikachit_ ** _ added  _ **_theonlygoodgemini_ ** _ and  _ **_Leo♫_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

**_pikachit_ ** _ renamed the conversation: “ _ **_royal eyebrow court_ ** _ ”. _

 

pikachit: does anyone have otabek on here 

Leo♫: no ask yuri

pikachit: aight

 

_ (Private Message:  _ **_pikachit_ ** _ and  _ **_RussianTiger_ ** _ : _

 

pikachit: yo bro whats otabeks username

RussianTiger: no

pikachit: wHY NOT

RussianTiger: ur gonna add him to ur dumb eyebrow thing

pikachit: yea its just harmless banter

RussianTiger: u better not traumatise him

pikachit: we wont

pikachit: why u actin like ur his parent hes an adult ur a child

RussianTiger: shut up asshole

pikachit: u protective of otabae

RussianTiger: never say that again im gagging

pikachit: sorry sorry

pikachit: pls give me his username

RussianTiger: fine its otabeka 

pikachit: wow thats boring

RussianTiger: ikr

pikachit: thANK U THO YURI U A GOOD EGG     )

  
  


**_pikachit_ ** _ added  _ **_otabeka_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

pikachit: welcome otabae

otabeka: pls dont call me tht

pikachit: why :(

Leo♫: sup my dude

otabeka: hi

otabeka: why am i here

Leo♫: this is a gc for all the skaters with amazing brows

pikachit: to be part of the royal eyebrow court is an HONOUR

otabeka: thank u 

otabeka: how did u get my username

pikachit: i asked yuri

otabeka: fair

theonlygoodgemini: id like to apologise for these two and i want to make it clear i am not a part of this and this wasnt my idea

Leo♫: umm yes u r a part of it mate

Leo♫: ur the king of this court

pikachit: isnt that kageyamas username

Leo♫: who

pikachit: nvm 

pikachit: but leo is right u have the best eyebrows of us all we need u 

theonlygoodgemini: you guys are bad for my ego

pikachit: ;)<3

otabeka: sorry for sounding rude but who are you??

theonlygoodgemini: seung-gil

otabeka: whys your username….that

theonlygoodgemini: because apparently im the only good gemini

otabeka: ….fair

pikachit: whats ur sign otabae

otabeka: stop???????

pikachit: no :)

pikachit: whats ya sign

otabeka: scorpio

pikachit: ooooo nice

otabeka: why does this chat exist again

otabeka: not to be ungrateful but why do we need a chat for us?

pikachit: leo said when he goes to prison to tell jj he has shit eyebrows

pikachit: so we made a chat for the ppl with good eyebrows

otabeka: his eyebrows arent that bad

Leo♫: but his personality is

pikachit: and his voice in the english dub

theonlygoodgemini: what

pikachit: nothing 

otabeka: why is leo going to prison

Leo♫: iM NOT I HOPE

pikachit: he’s holding guang hong hostage

Leo♫: STOP SPREADING LIES

pikachit: u started it

Leo♫: >:(

pikachit: hey otabae wanna be added to the MAIN GROUP CHAT

otabeka: not really 

otabeka: yuri told me that its hell

pikachit: thats a weird way to spell THE BEST PLACE ON EARTH

Leo♫: JOIN US

pikachit: JOIN USSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

otabeka: do i have a choice in this

pikachit: no :)

otabeka: typical

  
  


-

 

_ To: “ _ **_ULTIMATE FEELINGS: CHRISTMAS SPECIAL_ ** _ ”. _

 

pikachit: im adding otabae

RussianTiger: what did i fucking say

pikachit: :)

 

**_pikachit_ ** _ added  _ **_otabeka_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

pikachit: welcome to hell

otabeka: whys it called christmas special its january now

RussianTiger: is that really ur concern rn

otabeka: i didnt have a say in coming here so i cant rly complain about that

pikachit: idk what else to call it

 

**_RussianTiger_ ** _ renamed the conversation “ _ **_hell_ ** _ ”. _

 

pikachit: good enough i guess

katsukidon: hi otabek

otabeka: hey there

chickennugget: HI IM MINAMI !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NICE TO MEET U

otabeka: hi 

otabeka: u too

RussianTiger: minami this is otabek my ##bro qpp

RussianTiger: otabek this is minami my bf

pikachit: gaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

otabeka: oh!! hello! ive heard a lot about u, minami

chickennugget: OMG RLY???!?!?!!?

chickennugget: HE TALKS ABOUT ME?!?!??!?!?!

otabeka: yeah rly often lol

RussianTiger: beka pls stop no

chickennugget: THATS SO CUTE OH MY GOOOODDDDD YURIIIIIIII UR SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IM BLUSHING SM

pikachit: thats fuckin GAY MATE

pikachit: who wldve guessed that yuri wld be a romantic

RussianTiger: i want to die

otabeka: sorry yura

RussianTiger: why do u do thsi

chickennugget: nOOOOO PLS ITS CUTE DONT DIE

chickennugget: otabek ive heard a lot about you too!!!!

otabeka: really? 

RussianTiger: no

chickennugget: is it true u ride a motorbike?!?!!?!?!

otabeka: yeah lol

chickennugget: THATS SO COOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!! I WISH I COULD RIDE A MOTORBIKE

otabeka: i can teach u if u want

chickennugget: YES PLEASE

chickennugget: ALSO IS IT TRUE UR BORN ON HALLOWEEN

chickennugget: ARE YOU A VAMPIRE

chickennugget: OR A GHOST

otabeka: im not a ghost omg but yes im a halloween baby

chickennugget:  UR JUST AS COOL AS YURI SAYS!!!!!!

otabeka: yuri thinks im cool?

RussianTiger: no ur a loser

chickennugget: YEAH HES ALWAYS TELLING ME HOW COOL YOU ARE AND HOW HE HOPES HES AS COOL AS YOU WHEN HE GETS TO YOUR AGE

pikachit: omggggggg

chickennugget: HE THINKS YOURE TOO COOL TO BE HIS FRIEND BUT I TELL HIM THAT EVEN THO I DONT KNOW U THT U DONT SEEM LIKE THE KIND OF PERSON TO JUST BE FRIENDS W SOMEONE OUT OF PITY AND HES COOL TOO SO UR BOTH PROBABLY THE COOLEST DUO

otabeka: is this true, yuri?

 

**_RussianTiger_ ** _ has left the conversation. _

 

pikachit: fJSGDFJHS MINAMI UR A LEGEND

chickennugget: did i do something wrong?

chickennugget: whyd he leave????

pikachit: hes just embarrassed omg dw about it

chickennugget: whys he embarrassed oh no does he hate me now????!!?!?!???!?!?

pikachit: no omg pls

pikachit: i never thought yuri was a softie

chickennugget: he acts all tough but hes like a lil kitten really!!!!

otabeka: true

 

**_pikachit_ ** _ added  _ **_RussianTiger_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

pikachit: no escape

pikachit: u shld know this by now

RussianTiger: let me go

RussianTiger: im not a kitten

RussianTiger: im a tiger

RussianTiger: im not a softie

RussianTiger: fuck you 

otabeka: its fine to be soft sometimes

RussianTiger: but IM NOT SOFT

otabeka: i know but you can have a soft side

RussianTiger: i dont want a soft side

RussianTiger: youre the one tht called me a soldier 

RussianTiger: soldiers arent soft

otabeka: ur still a soldier yura

otabeka: soldiers have feeings though, and they appreciate their friends and partners

otabeka: im sure a lot of soldiers talk about their peers in a good light

RussianTiger: i guess

otabeka: i appreciate it though!!! its nice to know that you think im cool

chickennugget: me too!! it makes me happy knowing u speak about me !!!!! :D

RussianTiger: ur both losers

otabeka: what did i just say

RussianTiger: i know but its embarrassing now

chickennugget: affection is never embarrassing

RussianTiger: maybe not for u

RussianTiger: ur like a puppy

chickennugget: and ur a kitten

chickennugget: cats act cool and stoic but theyre secretly affectionate

otabeka: omg kitten and puppy duo

otabeka: minami u shld get a headband with dog ears and take a photo with yuri in his cat headband

chickennugget: THATS SUCH A GOOD IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!

RussianTiger: never

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the 'yuuri passing out and phichit laying down with him' thing was inspired by this post: http://trolithfoxyflint.tumblr.com/post/154369579207/chillin-is-probably-the-right-word-everylastbird its basically tht comic except i headcanon yuuri to have POTs like me (an illness nd u faint a lot) so this probably happened often omg
> 
> the eyebrow post is here: http://randomsplashes.tumblr.com/post/155047504329/consider-this-jj-tries-to-join-the-eyebrow-club ((this was linked to me in a comment by 'viktor bell' who has commented on this fic many times thank u bae ur nice af and also this was a great idea also they gave me the name for the conversation too and i thoight it was great omg))
> 
>  
> 
> sry this chapter sucks oops anyway follow me on twitter and tumblr pls i need friends
> 
> twitter.com/miilkpunk  
> prettyphichit.tumblr.com
> 
> cool thANKS bye


	21. the author is in love with yoosung kim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just got round to playing the mystic messenger christmas dlc (im late ik) and im in mysme hell sorry bout it

(gay)uanghong: guys have u heard about tht film thats coming out next week

(gay)uanghong: ‘love on ice’ or smth

Leo ♫: no

pikachit: tht sounds cute omg is it a figure skating film ?!!?!?!?

(gay)uangong: yeah but …. like….??? the story line………..

pikachit: o no is it shit

(gay)uanghong: no its just,,,,,familiar

pikachit: how so?

(gay)uanghong: its like...this lady is thinking of retiring as a figure skater but then suddenly a guy shows up and sees potential in her and he becomes her coach.

(gay)uanghong: and then from the title i assume they fall in love or something

pikachit: wtf

Leo ♫: thats. heterosexual

(gay)uanghong: not only is it heterosexual

(gay)uanghong: it sounds lit just like how yuuri and victor got together

pikachit: holy shit????????? It literally does??????

pikachit: wheres yuuri

katsukidon: im here

pikachit: read up

katsukidon: ok

katsukidon: wtF THATS ME

pikachit: RIGHT

(gay)uanghong: IS THIS JUST COINCIDENCE ORRR……..?

pikachit: id like to think so but like,,, everyone in the figure skating world knows about victor jetting off to become a flunking yuuri’s coach

katsukidon: u dont gotta be rude about it smh

Leo♫: as if they made a film with legit the same plot as ur life ogmfhgjdf

Leo♫: yuuri how do u feel

katsukidon: honestly????? flattered and also not flattered

katsukidon: get ur own original ideas mate thats my LIFE UR DOIN

(gay)uanghong: ok but they made u a white cishet woman

katsukidon: so they made it straight AND they made me white

katsukidon: unbeliEVABLE

katsukidon: im suing

assman: i want a movie about me :((((

katsukidon: yeah well im better than u xoxoxoxoxooxo

assman: rude

pikachit: im lit confused tho omg like. this cant be just a coincidence right???? how long have they been planning this movie??

(gay)uanghong: google it

pikachit: lol brb gonna do tht

katsukidon: i just told victor about this and hes half asleep and all he said was “why do you get to be the lady?” and turned over and fell asleep again

assman: thats the most victor thing ive ever heard

pikachit: update the movie started casting in november

(gay)uanghong: YA’LL WERE ENGAGED BY THEN

katsukidon: this is #PLAGARISM OF MY LIFE

Leo♫: this is so weird wtf

pikachit: im excited to watch it to see how much they fucked up

 

-

 

_ To: “ _ **_24/7 moral support_ ** _ ”. _

 

pikachit: yo can i add minami to this chat just for today 

(gay)uanghong: but then he will know all of our SECRETS

pikachit: dw pls he needs the moral support,,, is this not 24/7 moral support??

 

**_(gay)uanghong_ ** _ renamed the conversation: “ _ **_SECRET CHAT_ ** _ ”. _

 

(gay)uanghong: not anymore

katsukidon: omg thats MEAN let him in

pikachit: ur ruDE he needs our HELP

(gay)uanghong: pls im kidding ofc he can be added

pikachit: good

pikachit: be nice

 

**_pikachit_ ** _ added  _ **_chickennugget_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

pikachit: welcome to the mega secret squad group chat for secrets

(gay)uanghong: what happens in the secret group chat STAYS in the secret group chat, understand??????

pikachit: the first rule of the secret group chat is you dont talk about the secret group chat

(gay)uanghong: the second rule of the secret group chat is

(gay)uanghong:  YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE SECRET GROUP CHAT

(gay)uanghong: do i make myself clear

katsukidon: guys pls calm down ur probably imtimidating him

chickennugget: im scared 

pikachit: omg sorry

(gay)uanghong: im soRRY BAB ITS JUST BANTER

(gay)uanghong: but also this chat gets a bit personal sometimes so pls dont share our secrets

chickennugget: ofc i wont!!! dw !!! :D

pikachit: nice!!

katsukidon: so what is up my lil dude

chickennugget: oKAY SO

chickennugget: ITS TO DO WITH YURI

katsukidon: has he been an asshole to u

katsukidon: bc i WILL give him a stern talking to, as his mother

chickennugget: no omg hes lovely to me dont worry abt that

chickennugget: idK I FEEL BAD COMPLAINING ABOUT THIS BC ITS NOT RLY MY PLACE TO COMPLAIN

chickennugget: AND IM NOT EXACTLY COMPLAINING ITS MORE OF AN….OBSERVATION 

pikachit: omg just spill

chickennugget: ok right so basically ik we only got together four chapters ago,,,

katsukidon: ?what

chickennugget: ***a few weeks ago

chickennugget: but like,,,,,, he wont kiss me??? at all???

pikachit: well he is 15,,,,

(gay)uanghong: kids these days make out with eachother at 15 tho so

chickennugget: AND I DONT WANNA COMPLAIN BC WE HAVENT BEEN TOGETHER THAT LONG AND IM 100% RESPECTFUL OF HIS BOUNDRIES

chickennugget: but idk aaaaa he’ll let me hold his hand and kiss his cheek but he doesnt look me in the eye after that and also he never initiates it and i feel like im being really pushy???? h e lp i dont wanna pressure him into things hes not comfortable with??

katsukidon: if you were doing something he didnt like, he would definitely tell u, so dont worry about that!!! 

katsukidon: hes probably just shy???

pikachit: yeah!!!! the other day in the main gc u and otabek were comforting him bc he didnt like showing emotion

pikachit: hes probably still not used to it

chickennugget: i guess so

katsukidon: he probably thinks showing affection makes him weak or soft or something

katsukidon: which is sad and sucks real bad but itll take him a while to get out of tht mindset

chickennugget: i wanna make him feel comfortable around me yknow :(

chickennugget: it sucks like sometimes i see him like,,,reach out for my hand or smth but then decide against it and look away from me completely and its so sad :(

(gay)uanghong: bless u sm :(( have u tried speaking to him about it??

chickennugget: no,,i worry pls i dont wanna upset him

katsukidon: despite what he comes off as, hes pretty sensitive 

chickennugget: exactly :( and i dont wanna say the wrong thing and make it sound like im tryna pressure him yknow??

katsukidon: i know,, its hard, im sorry bab :(

pikachit: i think its best u bring it up with him, like ask him if theres anything u can do to make him feel more comfortable ?? communication is key in any relationship

pikachit: maybe talk to otabek? hes pretty close with yuri right, and he seemed to know the right things to say the other day in the main gc

chickennugget: thats a good idea!! thank u guys sm ur so lovely <333

pikachit: dw about it my bro, thts what we r here for <3

katsukidon: <3 good luck

-

 

_ Private Message:  _ **_chickennugget_ ** _ and  _ **_otabeka_ ** _. _

 

chickennugget: otabek!! hello!! Sorry if this is weird messaging u out of the blue

otabeka: its okay, dont worry

otabeka: whats up?

chickennugget: i wanted to ask u for some advice aaaa is that okay??

otabeka: im not the best at advice but i can try

chickennugget: its about yuri

otabeka: has something happened? did you guys argue?? because if so then dont worry too much about it, he gets pissy easily he’ll get over it soon enough

chickennugget: no no we’re okay!!! no arguments!!!

chickennugget: i just….. Idk man ik me and him havent been together ages and hes young but like,,, i worry over how uncomfortable he always seems???

chickennugget: like he never initiates any sort of affection or anything 

chickennugget: he doesnt seem to mind when i initiate it though,,,

chickennugget: the only thing hes ever turned from is once i tried to kiss him on the mouth but he turned his head quickly so i havent tried that since

chickennugget: which is fine!!!!! I dont want to pressure him!!! i respect his boundries!!

chickennugget: but idk i dont want him to feel like being affectionate makes him weak  idk sorry im rambling

otabeka: slow down

otabeka: you’re worrying a lot i can tell

chickennugget: im sorry aaaaaa its just ,, me and him r very different in that way

chickennugget: i wanna make him feel comfortable

chickennugget: and i dont want this to be one sided yknow

otabeka: i understand

otabeka: yuri is very closed off with his emotions like that

otabeka: i dont think he ever really had anyone to confide in when he was growing up so he kinda keeps to himself and stays cold and stoic

otabeka: but i know theres more to him than that, hes got a lot of stuff happening in tht head of his he just doesnt know how to voice it

chickennugget: i see

chickennugget: do u know how i cld maybe help him open up a bit??

otabeka: itll take a while, but its totally possible

otabeka: just know that he really does appreciate any kind words you give him. He may respond with grumbles and rude comments but thats just how he is

otabeka: he doesnt know how to take compliments but he really does take words to heart

otabeka: be it kind words or horrible words, they get to him even if he seems like he doesnt care

otabeka: i’d suggest maybe talking about your own emotions, as like, a prompt? It doesnt have to be about this situation, but maybe talking about your own feelings on things might show him that you trust him enough to open up to him and he might begin to feel like he can open up too

chickennugget: thank u so much oh my gosh ur the best

otabeka: u dont have to thank me

otabeka: also with the affection thing……. hes not rly used to affection so he probably just doesnt know how to respond

otabeka: id say maybe start asking if you can give affection? Like, even if he seems to not mind when you just do it without asking, maybe asking him like “hey, can i hold your hand?” and that sort of stuff, it might encourage him to start asking too? Maybe?

chickennugget: good idea!!! thank u so so so so so much!!!!!!!!!!!! honestly!!!! i really appreciate this!!!

otabeka: dont worry about it, dude

otabeka: i wish you luck. take your time, itll be okay 

chickennugget: thank you<3

otabeka: update me if and when things happen

chickennugget: i will!

 

-

 

_ To: “ _ **_hell_ ** _ ” _

 

katsukidon: has anyone else played mystic messenger

katsukidon: pls say yes i need someone to talk about it with me 

pikachit: is tht the thing thts all over ur tumblr rn with the anime boys

katsukidon: yEAH

katsukidon: PLS PLAY IT 

pikachit: ffffff maybe 

pikachit: whats it about

katsukidon: ITS A MOBILE GAME WHERE BASICALLY THE PLOT IS U ACCIDENTALLY ENTER A CHATROOM THT BELONGS TO THIS GROUP OF FRIENDS WHO R A PART OF A FUNDRAISING ASSOCIATION AND U JOIN THE ASSOCIATION BUT THERES SOME GUY WHO SENDS U TO THIS HOUSE AND U GET THERE AND ITS THE FOUNDER OF THE ASSOCIATIONS HOUSE AND U STAY THERE BUT THAT GUY ENDS UP BEING A HACKER AND A THREAT AND THERES ###DRAMA AND ALSO CUTE BOYS AND U GET TO ROMANCE THE CUTE BOYS AND ALSO THERES A GIRL BUT SHE FRIENDZONES U HOW PEAK 

pikachit: i didnt understand a word of that

katsukidon: ffFFF JUST PLAY IT ITS GOOD I PROMISE 

(gay)uanghong: YUURI IS RIGHT ITS A GREAT GAME PLAY IT PHICHIT

pikachit: aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA OKAY ILL DOWNLOAD IT

katsukidon: heCK YEAH

(gay)uanghong: love me some dating simulator games

pikachit: u guys r both in relationships why do u need dating sims

katsukidon: lISTEN OKAY ITS HARDLY A DATING SIM I PLAY IT FOR THE STORY LINE

(gay)uanghong: yeah keep telling urself that

katsukidon: also phichit before u get it i shld mention tht u dont get the choice to be a dude in the game aaa they make u be a girl and use she/her pronouns for u constantly aaaaa is tht okay

pikachit: that suCKS I WANT IT TO BE GAY THATS SAD

pikachit: its chill tho i can handle some misgendering by some AI

Thing1: mystic messenger upsets me bc jaehee wont date me why isnt she gay

katsukidon: hoNESTLY????? Sara u shld file a complaint this is HOMOPHOBIA

Thing1: fhdgsfs @ cheritz pls let me be a lesbian in ur game

(gay)uanghong: jumin is gay

katsukidon: tbh theyre all gay

Thing1: truuuu jumin and zen are totally fucking

katsukidon: RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

katsukidon: also yoosung and seven wld be so cute together???? Like??????? idK MAN THEY WLD BE ADORABLE 

Thing1: I AGREE I AGREE

(gay)uanghong: yuuri who did u date in the game

katsukidon: ive done a few routes but my #1 bae forever is zen ngl

(gay)uanghong: lmao is tht bc he looks like young victor

katsukidon: NO

katsukidon: ITS NOT THT AT ALL

Thing1: omg i never noticed tht before he DOES

vitya: who looks like young me?

(gay)uanghong: yuuri’s secret boyfriend

katsukidon: IM NOT EVEN ON HIS ROUTE RN 

vitya: oh is this that game u wont stop playing???

katsukidon: YES

(gay)uanghong: heres a photo of zen

(gay)uanghong:  [ zen.jpg ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/cf/5a/7e/cf5a7ef097a318a28743e427622a80e6.jpg)

pikachit: he looks like if u gave young victor an emo fringe and dressed him like otabek

(gay)uanghong: fHSDGHSJF TRUE

vitya: his eyes r red is that normal

(gay)uanghong: its just a game it doesnt matter

katsukidon: guang hong who did u romance

(gay)uanghong: i fell for yoosung straight away

(gay)uanghong: and i tried to do jumins route after i finished yoosungs but i felt so bad flirting with someone who wasnt him i couldnt do it

(gay)uanghong: lit im such a pussy omg i felt like i was cheating on him so i jst watched playthroughs online of other routes

katsukidon: reLATABLE TBH I FELT SO BAD AFTER FINISHING ZENS ROUTE AND MOVING ON

vitya: do u ever stop talking about this game

katsukidon: ITS MY SPECIAL INTEREST LEAVE ME ALONE

katsukidon: UR SUPPOSED TO SUPPORT ME AND MY INTERESTS

Thing1: hes probably jealous bc u have a cute anime boyfriend tht looks like his younger self

katsukidon: im not oN ZENS ROUTE RN IM ON YOOSUNGS CHRISTMAS DLC THING

assman: hi guys

Thing1: BUT STILL

vitya: im not jealous 

(gay)uanghong: sounds like something a jealous guy would say

assman: ok i just got here but i have no idea what the fuck any of this is about so im gonna leave

katsukidon: fff sorry chris

assman: what the fuck is a yoosung

(gay)uanghong: YOOSUNG KIM IS THE FUCKING LOVE OF MY LIFE HOW DARE YOU SPEAK ABOUT HIM AS IF HE IS AN OBJECT

Leo ♫: um 

(gay)uanghong: u know ur my one and only leo <333333

assman: goodbye im too old for this

vitya: same

Leo♫: whats yoosung got that i dont

Thing1: leo dont worry its just a game

(gay)uanghong: do u guys think id look cute with a barrette in my hair like yoosung??

katsukidon: YESSS OMG GET SOME HAIR CLIPS AND DO IT

(gay)uanghong: I MIGHT TBH

pikachit: ok i just started the game this is weird i thought this was a dating sim but i feel like im about to get kidnapped???

katsukidon: just bear with it ok it gets better

pikachit: alright ill trust u

 

-

 

pikachit: 707 is ME

katsukidon: TBH I KNEW U WLD LIKE HIM

pikachit: HES A MEME MACHINE I LOVE HIM 

katsukidon: tbh cosplay him

pikachit: WHAT A GOOD IDEA BRB SEARCHING ONLINE FOR A RED WIG

 

-

 

(gay)uanghong: ok ik its late rn but is anyone awake

theonlygoodgemini: i am

chickennugget: me!!!!!

(gay)uanghong: ah good

(gay)uanghong: somethign has. Happened

chickennugget: ???? are u okay??????

(gay)uanghong: yeah im fine !!!! 

(gay)uanghong: i just

(gay)uanghong: accidentally dyed my hair pink???

theonlygoodgemini: how do you accidentally dye your hair pink

(gay)uanghong: i just wanted to put some like highlights in it yknow

(gay)uanghong: my hairs so boring brown i wanted to ##change it up a bit

(gay)uanghong: but then i spilt it accidentally and i ended up with a massive blob of dye right in the middle of my head

(gay)uanghong: so i had to dye the whole thing 

theonlygoodgemini: wow

chickennugget: oh my god 

chickennugget: pics pls

(gay)uanghong: pinkhairkms.jpg

chickennugget: its like. purply pink bc u didnt bleach it before hand

chickennugget: it looks cute tho!!!!

(gay)uanghong: thank u omg this wasnt what i wanted tho

(gay)uanghong: im lowkey tempted to bleach my hair and dye it all like pastel pink now ngl

chickennugget: DO IT

chickennugget: ILL HELP U I DYE MY HAIR OFTEN IK WHAT IM DOING

(gay)uanghong: BLESS U SM UR A STAR

(gay)uanghong: COME OVER TOMORROW AND HELP ME???

chickennugget: OFC <33

theonlygoodgemini: why do i feel like this is a bad idea

(gay)uanghong: bc ur boring and dont know how to have fun

chickennugget: dw seung gil hes gonna look so cool and ur gonna wish u had hair as cool as his

(gay)uanghong: minami u flatter me

(gay)uanghong: do u think pastel pink will flatter me?

chickennugget: theres only one way to find out!!!

(gay)uanghong: heCK YEAH IM EXCITED

theonlygoodgemini: go to bed 

(gay)uanghong: good idea i dont wanna be sleep tomorrow and fuck up my hair

chickennugget: yeah!!! ill see u tomorrow!!!! :D

(gay)uanghong: yes! ill see u then!!!! :DDDDDD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A FEW THINGS:  
> 1) its canon tht yuuri has a piano in his room sO ITS BASICALLY HE CANON HE PLAYS IT AND IM P SURE HE WLD BE AGREAT SINGER SO BASICALLY MY FIC IS CANON SHUT UP  
> 2) a lot of bullshit happened in this chapter omg ill continue w the plinami ###drama next chapter along with the hair dying chronicles
> 
> 3) IM HAVING A YURI ON ICE MARATHON SOME TIME THIS WEEK!!! JOIN ME!!!!!! WATCH ALL TWELVE EPISODES IN A ROW WITH ME!!!! itll be on rabb.it (a think thts kinda like skype but u can watch shows together and chat), and im thinking either this friday or this saturday (thats the 6th or 7th of january). i havent 100% decided yet because of how different everyones timezones are,. i want to make it so as many ppl can join as possible, but sadly i cant accomidate to everyones time zones :( i might have two marathons??? one this week and one next week at different times so people from accross the pond can hang out!!! either way, ill be posting the details on my tumblr (yuuchit.tumblr.com) so if ur interested drop me a dm on there and check back soon for when i have the finalised times and dates!!!! itll be a good time i think!!! :D
> 
> anYWAY THANKS FOR READING
> 
> update apparently the love on ice thing isnt tht bad idek man i just saw bullshit on tumblr so i wrote about it but kubo said not to worry about it and ill listen to anything kubo says i am a slave to kubo sensei


	22. the hair dying commences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> super short plotless pointless chapter bc im feelin shitty Sorry bout it

Leo♫: guang hong ur not actually dying ur hair light pink right

(gay)uanghong: yes 

(gay)uanghong: im abt to go out and buy some bleach before minami gets here

Leo♫: oh lord

(gay)uanghong: r u sayin i wld look ugly with pastel pink hair :(

(gay)uanghong: u dont think itd suit me :( ur the meanest boyfriend ever :(

Leo♫: no im just worried ur gonna fuck up and burn ur head with the bleach or something

(gay)uanghong: u have NO FAITH IN  ME

Leo♫: i dO i just WORRY

vitya: this makes me want to dye my hair!

(gay)uanghong: omg victor do it dye it blue

vitya: yEAH

RussianTiger: dont encourage him

pikachit: LET HIM DO WHAT HE WANTS

RussianTiger: hes like 30 though 

vitya: IM 28 DONT BE MEAN YURIO :(

RussianTiger: stop callin me tht i swear to fucking god i will end your life

vitya: youre just jealous bc i cld rock blue hair better than you :)

pikachit: strong words from victor oooooo

RussianTiger: fuck you ill dye my hair blue just to prove you wrong

Leo♫: g look what youve done

(gay)uanghong: omg yES YURI COME OVER WE CAN DO IT TOGETHER W MINAMIS HELP

RussianTiger: alright

katsukidon: yuri no

RussianTiger: u cant tell me what to do pig

Leo♫: emo teen disobeying his mother

pikachit: omg u shld dye just ur fringe blue so u and minami match

RussianTiger: thats gay

pikachit: yeah no shit

chickennugget: THATS ADORABLE OMG PLEASEEEEEEE YURIIIIIIIIIIIII

RussianTiger: okay why not

chickennugget: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

(gay)uanghong: nice one omg im omw to buy bleach ill pick up some blue dye too

RussianTiger: thx

katsukidon: my son is a rebel

katsukidon: ive raised a delinquent 

 

-

 

(gay)uanghong: bleach hurts ur scalp confirmed

Leo♫: i told u u wld burn urself

(gay)uanghong: im not burning myself pls it hasnt been on tht long

chickennugget: dw leo hes okay its only been 10 mins

Leo♫: is it supposed to burn

chickennugget: i mean,, its normal for it to burn

Leo♫: …..dont leave it on too long okay

chickennugget: hes gotta leave it longer than usual bc ptherwise the pink wont take

Leo♫: WHY NO HES GONNA DIE

(gay)uanghong: im not gonna die by hair dying

chickennugget: PLS CALM

chickennugget: HES GOING PASTEL PINK SO HE NEEDS TO LIGHTEN HIS HAIR AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE OKAY

(gay)uanghong: u worry too much

Leo♫: well soRRY I DONT WANT U TO HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS ON UR HEAD

(gay)uanghong: i woNT CHILL OUT

 

-

 

(gay)uanghong: i take it back im prob gonna die

Leo♫: why whats happened r u okay

katsukidon: dont die

(gay)uanghong: minami and yuri started talking about some personal stuff and yuri got rly ????anxious i think??? and ran into the bathroom to hide ??? and minami followed him in there

(gay)uanghong: and i can hear one of them crying 

katsukidon: did they argue??!?!?!?

(gay)uanghong: nonono i think its just ##emotional

(gay)uanghong: anyway i need to rinse out this bleach but theyre having a Moment in there and i dont wanna interrupt like hey ik ur getting sentimental but my head burns

Leo♫: jusT GO IN THERE UR GONNA DIE OTHER4WISE

(gay)uanghong: im not gonna DIE

(gay)uangong: i might lose all my hair tho ://

katsukidon: go wash it out dude they wont mind

(gay)uanghong: nO I DONT WANNA INTERRUPT

(gay)uanghong: it might be important for them

katsukidon: use ur kitchen sink???

(gay)uanghong: UR A GENIUS THANK U GOD YUURI FOR SAVING M SCALP

Leo♫: dont get bleach on any cutlery or anything

(gay)uanghong: ill try my best

otabeka: ah yeah its best to leave them alone if possible

otabeka: yuri is weird about emotional stuff its rare tht that sort ofthing happens

katsukidon: tru

katsukidon: i hope hes okay

otabeka: same

otabeka: minamis a good kid , yuri is lucky 

katsukidon: yeah im glad hes got him,, hopefully he can help him

otabeka: i hope so

Leo♫: i think otabek shld take place as yuris dad rather than victor

Leo♫: victor provokes him too much to be his dad

otabeka: nah

otabeka: im more like. the big brother that will beat up any bullies 

katsukidon: otabek u r a good lad i like u a lot

otabeka: thanks u too

 

-

 

chickennugget: omg i feel so bad making g wash his hair in the kitchen fff im so sorry

(gay)uanghong: its okay but i dont have a towel r u guys done w ur little pow wow

chickennugget: yea sorry fff ill bring a towel out w me

katsukidon: are u guys okay? 

chickennugget: yeah!!! everythings good!!

otabeka: how are things, minami?

chickennugget: rly good!! Thank u for helping beka <3 :D

otabeka: its okay little bro, im glad u guys are okay :)

(gay)uanghong: HURRY UP IM GETTING COLD MY HAIR IS WET IM GONNA CATCH A COLD

chickennugget: SORRY COMING

 

-

 

liftqueen: omg is yuri actually dying his fringe blue?!?!?

(gay)uanghong: yepits happening AS WE SPEAK

liftqueen: wow

liftqueen: good thing lilia isnt here otherwise he would be in so much trouble

RussianTiger: fuck lilia i do what i want

(gay)uanghong: i envy u yuri u didnt have to go through the HORROR of bleaching ur hair beforehand

(gay)uanghong: ur hair is already milk blonde

RussianTiger: perks of being russian

pikachit: lowkey wanna dye my hair a colour now bc of all this talk

(gay)uanghong: DO IT

pikachit: IDK WHAT WLD SUIT ME THO

liftqueen: i think u wld suit like. the colour my hair is?? but a bit darker??

liftqueen: like a cherry red

pikachit: OMG IM BLESST

pikachit: I RLY WANNA DO IT

liftqueen: DO IT

pikachit: ffffffff one day

pikachit: one day i will have the ##courage

Liftqueen: @ yura what kind of blue r u doing

RussianTiger: light blue like th sky

liftqueen: prettyyyyy

pikachit: u nd minami r gonna look so cute

pikachit: red and blue

pikachit: like minun and plusle

(gay)uangong: omg thts adorable

 

-

 

(gay)uanghong: HI GUYS WE LOOK CUTE AS HELL

(gay)uanghong: hairdyebros.jpg

pikachit: OMG U ALL LOOK FLY AS FUCK

Leo♫: OMG BABE U LOOK LIKE CANDYFLOSS

(gay)uanghong: RIGHT?!??!?! I LOVE IT

katsukidon: THE THREE OF U TOGETHER LOOK SO COOL OMG

(gay)uanghong: THANK U IKR WE R SO CUTE

RussianTiger: i feel cool

pikachit: u LOOK COOL, MY GUY

chickennugget: WE R MATCHY NOW!!!! :D

Leo♫: this is gay and cute u guys r adorable

chickennugget: :D!!!!!!!

(gay)uanghong: leo dye ur hair lilac we can be pastel boiz

Leo♫: ill pass

(gay)uanghong: doNT U WANNA MATCH W ME :((((((( 

Leo♫: I DONT WANNA DYE MY HAIRRRRRRR

katsukidon: get matching shirts

pikachit: wtf i wanna get matching sstuff w someone

pikachit: yuuri get best friend necklaces with me

katsukidon: omg okay

pikachit: i found the perfect ones

pikachit:  [ [link] ](http://g01.a.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1YAfBIFXXXXb4XXXXq6xXFXXXQ/New-Style-Sweater-Chain-Broken-Heart-3-Parts-Best-Bitches-18K-Golden-Necklace-Jewelry-Best-Friends.jpg)

katsukidon: om G

pikachit: u my best bitch <3

katsukidon: best bitches <3 <3 <3

 

-

 

pikachit: omg imagine if us, the skatesquad, were actually skateboarders instead of figure skaters

pikachit: imagine that

pikachit: skate squad but we al have penny boards and we go to the skate park and do tricks nd shit instead of ice skate

Leo♫: phichit go to bed its late

pikachit: its not that late

Leo♫: its 4am

Leo♫: go to sleep why r u even awake

pikachit: im working on a 707 cosplay

katsukidon: omg ur actually doin it??!?!

pikachit: yeah omg u mentiomed it so i went out today….technically yesterday bc its 4am?? I went out yesterday and got a black hoodie nd some yellow fabric lol im makin his jacket rn

katsukidon: omg yeeeeeeesssssssss my boi im so excited for this

pikachit: samee omg u shld cosplay zen or jumin

katsukidon: i am nOT HOT ENOUGH TO BE EITHER OF THEM

pikachit: THIS IS A LIE

Leo♫: BOTH OF U GO TO BEDDDDDDDDDDDD

katsukidon: ffff ur right its Bed Time

pikachit: u guys r BORING

Leo♫: goodnight :))

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo im having a yoi marathon / watch-along tomorrow (saturday 7th jan), u shld come hang out w me heres a link to the details cool hope 2 see u there !! http://sixteencandles.co.vu/post/155437273510/hey-dudes-so-this-is-a-followup-to-my-other-post


	23. nutting, Mr Eman, yams, and zootopia disc horse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dedicated to the nutsquad group chat; a groupchat of 28 people consisting of my new friends who came to the yuri on ice marathon on saturday !! a lot of this is inside jokes with them (such as egg!!! on ice being a reference to our chat, and lucaidan and chemma being ships from our chat) so yeAH THANKS TO THOSE GUYS FOR BEIN THE BEST

pikachit: im bored someone pay attention to me

(gay)uanghong: relatabke

cyberEmil: hi

pikachit: hi

pikachit: idk what to type but im bored entertain me

(gay)uanghong: entertain URSELF ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

pikachit: blocked

cyberEmil: guang hong ur a child stop

(gay)uanghong: do u wanna watch these hands (ง •̀_•́)ง

cyberEmil: no im not gonna hit a child

(gay)uanghong: (ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง

pikachit: emil ur like 1 year older

cyberEmil: k but i have a beard

pikachit: touche

katsukidon: no fighting in the group chat

pikachit: mother ur here

katsukidon: ye

(gay)uanghong: lets TAKE THIS OUTSIDE (ง •̀_•́)ง

cyberEmil: aight lets fucking go

katsukidon: ur tearing this family apart

(gay)uanghong: i hate this family

Katsukidon: u sound like yuri

RussianTiger: dont talk shit behind my back

katsukidon: im not

RussianTiger: o

pikachit: IM B O R E D

pikachit: i wanna play overwatch but my laptop is laggy af its making me angery

(gay)uanghong: sucks to be u bitch

pikachit: die

katsukidon: do smth productive

pikachit: like what

katsukidon: idk clean ur apartment its always a mess

pikachit: yuuri i love u but can u maybe shut the fuck up

RussianTiger: cleaning isnt fun idiot

katsukidon: im juST BEING A MOTHERLY FIGURE OKAY

cyberEmil: play a game

pikachit: i cANT MY LAPTOP IS TOO LAGGY

cyberEmil: a board game

pikachit: ON MY OWN YEAH OKAY THEN MATE JOG ON

katsukidon: one man monopoly sounds gd

(gay)uanghong: LETS PLAY NEVER HAVE I EVER

katsukidon: oh godno

pikachit: YESSSSSSSSS

RussianTiger: can i leave

pikachit: no u must take part

cyberEmil: thats a drinking game

(gay)uanghong: and???

cyberEmil: this is a group chat

pikachit: uhhhbhhh

(gay)uanghong: if u have done the thing u send (ง •̀_•́)ง

katsukidon: we fight if we sin?

(gay)uanghong: yes

cyberEmil: im leavign

(gay)uanghong: rude

Pikachit: nice

pikachit: we need more players

pikachit: where is everyone

assman: im here i was gna just spectate but ive decided i want to join

(gay)uanghong: aaaaaayyyyyyy my dude

vitya: im here idk this game but okay

pikachit: the rules r: someone says something they havent done for example “never have i ever punched a bee in the face”

pikachit: and if u HAVE done the thing u send a (ง •̀_•́)ง

pikachit: its usually a drinking game but tht doesnt rly work here

vitya: gotcha

katsukidon: who wld punch a bee in the face

(gay)uanghong: i would

RussianTiger: i would

pikachit: point proven

pikachit: wheres everyone eLSE

theonlygoodgemini: im here

(gay)uanghong: nice

(gay)uanghong: is tht everyone

katsukidon: whos starting

pikachit: ME

pikachit: OK NEVER HAVE I EVER HAD ANAL SEX

katsukidon: really

katsukidon: UR STARTING WITH THAT

pikachit: oh cmon we all know thats where thiws game is going

katsukidon: im too sober for this

(gay)uanghong: (ง •̀_•́)ง

Assman: (ง •̀_•́)ง

RussianTiger: can i leave now

pikachit: no

katsukidon: ugh

katsukidon: (ง •̀_•́)ง

vitya: how do i do the face

RussianTiger: copy paste it idiot

vitya: oh right

vitya: (ง •̀_•́)ง

(gay)uanghong: seung gil??

theonlygoodgemini: i know the rules

theonlygoodgemini: ill send it when ive done it alright

pikachit: omg

(gay)uanghong: im going next because fuck you

(gay)uanghong: never have i ever enjoyed c*leslaw

katsukidon: I FEEL ATTACKED

pikachit: omg get rekt

pikachit: wheres leo

(gay)uanghong: who knows

katsukidon: (ง •̀_•́)ง fuck urself

assman: yuuri thats gross

katsukidon: ITS NICE

assman: im never going near u again

theonlygoodgemini: i dont know what that is but it sounds not good

pikachit: ur correct its grpss

vitya: the devils spawn

katsukidon: its NICE

katsukidon: can i go next

pikachit: no

katsukidon: fuck you i dont care im going next

katsukidon: never have i ever tried to suck my roommates dick while drunk and then started crying when said roommate got confused as to why there was a drunk kid straddling him in only underwear and a snapback

RussianTiger: a bit specific

assman: i think this is getting personal

pikachit: yknow what yuuri

pikachit: fuck you

pikachit: youd be BLESSED to have my mouth on ur dick, and ur an idiot for refusing my offer

pikachit: i just wanted to help a #bro out yknow just dudes being guys

pikachit: SO YEAH U CAN LAUGH AT ME ALL U WANT AND TRY TO EMBARRASS ME

pikachit: BUT ILL HAPPILY POST MY (ง •̀_•́)ง

pikachit: bc im a NICE PERSON. I WAS TRYING TO DO A NICE THING FOR A FRIEND

(gay)uanghong: zdgfzhd why didnt i know aBOTU THIS

katsukidon: phichit u were drunk i didnt wanna take advantage of u

pikachit: i wasnt even that drunk

RussianTiger: why would u ever wanna go near his dick anyway ewwww lmaooooo

vitya: its a nice dick

pikachit: EXACTLY CAN U BLAME ME

RussianTiger: PLS CAN I LEAVE

(gay)uanghong: yuri look away from th chat

RussianTiger: tbh gonna do tht bye

katsukidon: can u STOP TALKING ABOUT MY GENITALS IN THE GROUP CHAT

assman: i for one want to know about ur genitals

vitya: yuuri r u up for a threesome

pikachit: omdgfs

Katsukidon: victor this is a conversation for privacy and not to be had in a GROUP CHAT

assman: ;)

(gay)uanghong: phichit have u still never sucked a dick

pikachit: i have standards when it comes to whos dick im putting in my mouth

katsukidon: aww bro im flattered

pikachit: go away u suck

katsukidon: :(

vitya: caN I BE NEXT IN THE GAME

(gay)uanghong: ok shoot

vitya: never have i ever

vitya: came on the ice

pikachit: ….what like??? Been on the ice?

pikachit: or like . orgasmed

vitya: orgasmed

vitya: nutted

assman: the fuck have i ever done to u victor

assman: (ง •̀_•́)ง

katsukidon: OMG CHRIS

(gay)uanghong: is it rly tht srprising have u SEEN his routines he practically touches himself up on the ice

pikachit: thats…. Impressive

vitya: hes just super easy lol

assman: DONT GET RUDE NIKIFOROV

vitya: if u can nut in less than three minutes just from skating then ur easy

pikachit: how many times has this happened

assman: twice in competition

katsukidon: EW DID IT GET ON THE ICE??????????????????

assman: no wtf i dont skate naked

(gay)uanghong: n u t m a n

(gay)uanghong: cristophe giacoNUTti

theonlygoodgemini: is that sanitary

assman: why wouldnt it be sanitary

theonlygoodgemini: u wear the costimes for competitions

assman: washing machines exist

vitya: how does tht even happen

assman: im sexy

pikachit: so u nut to urself

assman: duh

katsukidon: i want tht sort of self confidence

 

 _(_ **_‘assman’_ ** _changed their screenname to_ **_‘nutman’_ ** _.)_

 

nutman: im not ashamed

pikachit: FSFHSJH ME

chickennugget: HI IM HERE whats goin on my dudes?!?!?!

pikachit: chirs...nutted

chickennugget: ew

(gay)uanghong: i want a nut name

katsukidon: u havent nutted on ice tho

(gay)uanghong: whats ur point

pikachit: gua(nut)ghong

(gay)uanghong: can i keep the gay

(gay)uanghong: (gay)ua(nut)ghong

chickennugget: thats a bit long winded for the author to type omg

katsukidon: what

chickennugget: nothing lol

pikachit: DO IT

 

 _(‘_ **_(gay)uanghong’_ ** _changed their screenname to ‘_ **_(gay)ua(nut)ghong_ ** _’)_

 

chickennugget: theres gonna be so many mispellings of tht in this chapter omg

katsukidon: literally what

nutman: EVERYONE CHANGE YOUR USERNAMES TO NUT RELATED

katsukidon: AN AWFUL IDEA

pikachit: a GREAT IDEA

pikachit: everyones gonna be so confused when they get here omg

chickennugget: what is my nut name

katsukidon: I DONT LIKE THT COMING FROM U

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: shh lets pretends its about peanuts

pikachit: omg

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: chickenNUTget

chickennugget: PERFECT

 

 _(_ **_‘chickennugget’_ ** _changed their screenname to ‘_ **_chickenNUTget_ ** _’)_

 

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: phichit u can be phichit chulaNUT

pikachit: GSDHSHFGDSH

katsukidon: bitchit chulaNUT

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: bitchshit chulaNUT

pikachit: UM RUDE

pikachit: BUT IM USING IT

nutman: ive created an army

 

 _(_ **_‘pikachit’_ ** _changed their screenname to_ **_‘bitchshit chulaNUT’_ ** _)_

 

 **_nutman_ ** _renamed the conversation:_ **_‘nut squad’._ **

 

bitchshit chulaNUT: thats shit let me name it

 

 **_bitchshit chulaNUT_ ** _reamed the conversation:_ **_‘the nutshack’_ ** _._

 

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: OMFGSFH

katsukidon: [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO_KxGlY62g ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO_KxGlY62g)

bitchshit chulaNUT: EXACTLY THTS WHAT I WAS GOING FOR

nutman: yuuri you need one

katsukidon: uuuuh okay

 

 _(_ **_‘katsukidon’_ ** _changed their screenname to_ **_‘nutsukidon’_ ** _)_

  


chickenNUTget: nutsukidon

nutsukidon: thats me

bitchshit chulaNUT: does tht mean ur a……

bitchshit chulaNUT: pork NUTLET BOWL

 

 **_nutsudon_ ** _removed_ **_bitchshit chulaNUT_ ** _from the conversation._

 

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: SDGHFJKGD

nutman: aww cmon yuuuuuri that was funny

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: PORK NUTLET BWOK

 

 **_nutman_ ** _added_ **_bitchshit chulaNUT_ ** _to the conversation._

 

bitchshit culaNUT: stop nutshaming me yuuri

nutsukidon: THATS NOT AS THING

bitchshit chulaNUT: IT IS NOW

nutman: we are making it a thing

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: whats victors nut name

vitya: already got u covered

 

 _(_ **_‘vitya’_ ** _changed their screenname to_ **_‘nutkiforov’_ ** _)_

 

nutkiforov: tada~~~

bitchshit chulaNUT: always prepared

nutkiforov: of course i am!

chickenNUTget: wheres yuri!!! Whats his nut name!!???

RussianTiger: im not having a nut name

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: why not cmon everyone else is doing it

RussianTiger: im ace

RussianTiger: minami YOURE ace

chickenNUTget: whats ur point

chickenNUTget: maybe its a pistachio

RussianTiger: ugh

bitchshit chulaNUT: what wld yuris nut name be tho

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: plinutsky? Idk i got nothin

RussianTiger: im leaving again bye

nutsukidon: WASNT SEUNG GIL HERE

nutsukidon: he needs a nut name

bitchshit chulaNUT: INDEED

bitchshit chulaNUT: come out come out wherever u are seung gil

theonlygoodgemini: oi ill come out when im ready

bitchshit chulaNUT: thats not what i meant

bitchshit chulaNUT: u need a nut name

theonlygoodgemini: okay think of one then

nutman: seu(nut)g gil?

bitchshit chulaNUT: nah thts too similar to g’s

nutsukidon: theonlygoodgemiNUT

theonlygoodgemini: rthts good but im going to shorten it to just geminut

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: ʷʰʸ ᵗʰᵉ fᵘͨᵏ ʸºᵘ NUTTING, ʷʰʸ ʸºᵘ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ NUTTING, ᵐᵐᵐᵐᵐᵐ ºʰ ᵐʸ ᵍºᵈ ˢᵗºp fᵘͨᵏ'ⁿ NUTTING

bitchshit chulaNUT: u have a nut name shut ur mouth mate

 

 _(_ **_‘theonlygoodgemini’_ ** _changed their screenname to_ **_‘geminut’_ ** _)_

 

geminut: there

bitchshit chulaNUT: NICE

nutman: ….werent we playing a game

nutsukidon: o yea

nutsukidon: can i go

bitchshit chulaNUT: sure

nutsukidon: ok never have i ever dated a guy whos name is chair

nutman: WHY ARE YOU BEING RUDE ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND

nutsukidon: im not im just saying ive never dated a guy called chair

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: omg what ur boyfriends name is chair

bitchshit chulaNUT: omfg

nutman: dONT BE MEAN HE GETS A LOT OF SHIT FOR IT

bitchshit chulaNUT: whats his surname

nutsukidon: why didnt we know his name before omg hes a mystery man

nutman: eman

bitchshit chulaNUT: eman?

nutman: chair eman

nutman: pronounced eee-man

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: like he-man

nutman: yeah

bitchshit chulaNUT: ……..mr chair eman

nutman: yes????

chickenNUTget: …..mr . chair . eman

chickenNUTget: mr eman.

chickenNUTget: wow

nutman: why r u being so mean to him hes had a tough life

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: i have a thing for never have i ever can i go next

nutman: aight

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: NEVER HAVE I EVER

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: MIXED UP ZOOTOPIA AND ZOOLANDERS AND CALLED ZOOTOPIA RACIST AND TRANSPHOBIC

nutsukidon: omg w h a t

bitchshit chulaNUT: THIS IS JUST EVERYONE TARGETTING EACHOTHER NOW

bitcshit chulaNUT: AND IN MY DEFENSE THT WAS A MISTAKE THEY HAVE SIMILAR NAMES

nutsukidon: zootopia is like…. About racism tho in a good way

bitchshit chulaNUT: I KNOW I MEANT ZOOLANDERS

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: cant believe benedict cumberbatch is in zootopia

bitchshit chulaNUT: STOP LAUGHING AT MY FAILURES

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: NO ITS FUNNY

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: ALSO IM MAD BC U MADE ME THINK WE WERE GETTING A ZOOTOPIA 2 AND THE FIRST ONE WAS GREAT

bitchshit chulaNUT: IM SORRY OK

 

-

 

Leo♫: what the fuck have i came back to

Leo♫: why is this called the nutshack

bitchshit chulaNUT: UR BACK

Leo♫: wtf phichit is tht u

Leo♫: why is ur name that

bitchshit chulaNUT: n u t

nutsukidon: n u t

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: NN UT

nutman: nut.

Leo♫: why

nutkiforov: nut

Leo♫: why nut

nutsukidon: bc chris nuts on the ice

Leo♫: ew

Leo♫: then why r u all nut

bitchshit chulaNUT: bc . nut is life

Leo♫: im.. kinkshaming

chickenNUTget: im a cashew

bitchshit chulaNUT: where were u u missed the nut discourse

nutsukidon: it wasnt rly discourse we all kinda agreed on the nuts

nutsukidon: except yuri

Leo♫: i was playing overwatch sorry

bitchshit chulaNUT: die???

bitchshit chulaNUT: also . tracer is a lesbian and im very happy

Leo♫: ME TOO MY LESBIAN BABY CHILD WHO I LOVE

bitchshit chulaNUT: SAME

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: nut for gay tracer

bitchshit chulaNUT: N U T  F O R  G A Y  T R A C E R

Leo♫: kinKSHAMING

bitchshit chulaNUT: STOP NUTSHAMING US

Leo♫: NO

Leo♫: I DONT EVEN UNDERTSNAD WHATS GOING ON IM NUT SHAMING U ALL

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: nut discourse

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: .. disc horse

chickenNUTget: disc horse?

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: disc horse.

Leo♫: change all ur names back from nuts pls

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: no

nutsukidon: nah i kinda like this ngl

nutkiforov: me too

Leo♫: its ANNOYING BC I CANT JOIN YOU I CANT MAKE A NUT NAME OUT OF MY NAME

bitchshit chulaNUT: ur the token nutshamer

bitchshit chulaNUT: like the token cishet but. ur the nutshamer

Leo♫: dont compare me to cishets

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: n u t

Leo♫: wait a second chris’ boyfriend is called chair?

nutkiforov: he prefers to go by his last name because people laugh at his given name

bitchshit chulaNUT: ….EMAN

chickenNUTget: mr eman. I will never get over it.

nutsukidon: whys he called chair tho

nutkiforov:......bc thats his NAME yuuri

nutkiforov: its like me asking why ur japanese

nutsukidon: touche

bitchshit chulaNUT: as much as i love this new username

bitchshit chulaNUT: i do still have my mum on here and i dont want her to see this

Leo♫: thats cute mamas boy

bitchshit chulaNUT: SHE DOESNT LIKE ME SWEARING

nutsukidon: but. those are english swears??

bitchshit chulaNUT: she knows english swears

nutsukidon: omg

 

 _(_ ** _‘bitchshit_** **_chulaNUT’_** _changed the screenname to_ ** _‘pikachit’_** _)_

 

RussianTiger: phichit

RussianTiger: why didnt u jst name urself pikachulanont instead of pikachit it makes more sense lol

nutsukidon: omg

RussianTiger: pikachit sounds dumb lol

pikachit: uh hey yuri

pikachit: take ur sass

pikachit: put it in ur pocket

RussianTiger: . what

pikachit: ur sass? just. put it in ur pocket

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: omfg phicht u just got called dumb by a child

RussianTiger: oi watch it scum bag

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: sorry yuri love u <3333

 

-

 

pikachit: guys

pikachit: guang hong ships chemma more than lucaidan

nutsukidon: omg what as if

nutsukidon: dont get me wrong i like chemma but. lucaidan  is my lifeline

chickenNUTget: what. are u even talking about

pikachit: its an anime

pikachit: its called egg!!! On ice its about skating and its gAY

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: listen. i like lucaidan ofc but i juST LOVE CHEMMA OKAY WE NEED MORE CHEMMA IN EOI

pikachit: ur riGHT WE DO BUT

pikachit: L U C A I D A N

nutman: i dont ship lucaidan

nutsukidon: EXCUSE ME

 

 **_pikachit_ ** _removed_ **_nutman_ ** _from the conversation._

 

pikachit: i am. offended? upset?  This is disgusting

pikachit: get this lucaidan hate out of my gc

 

 **_nutsukidon_ ** _added nutman to the_ **_conversation_ ** _._

 

nutsukidon: chris

nutsukidon: take it back

nutman: i mean what i said

nutkiforov: i cant believe we are friends, christophe

nutman: I JUST DONT SEE THE APPEAL

pikachit: i am PERSONALLY OFFENDED BY THIS

nutman: why shld i ship it then

pikachit: BC ITS GAY AND PERFECT????????

pikachit: THEYRE CUTE TOGETHER?????????????????????????????

pikachit: wait lemme get a PROFESSIONAL here to CONVERT u to the lucaidan ways

 

 **_pikachit_ ** _added_ **_gomentsukki_ ** _to the conversation._

 

pikachit: YAMAGUCHI

pikachit: I NEED U TO MAKE CHRIS SHIP lLUCAIDAN

gomentsukki: OKAY SO

chickenNUTget: yamaguchi??? Is this yamaguchi from when we went to play volleyball with hinata????

pikachit: yea lol we r ##bros now we bonded over egg!!! On ice

chickenNUTget: omg HI YAMAGUCHI!! :D

gomentsukki: LUCAIDAN ARE JUST SO PURE OKAY THEYRE SO SIMILAR AND GOOD TOGETHER HAVE U SEEN HOW GAY AIDAN IS FOR LUCA  LISTEN BUDDY THEYRE GAY AND ITS GREAT LIT EVERYONE IN THE SHOW SHIPS THEM

gomentsukki: REN? SHIPS THEM. MIK? SHIPS THEM. CHO AND EMMA SHIP THEM TOO. ITS GAY MATE.

nutman: pls im SORRY

nutman: doNT SHOUT AT ME

gomentsukki: sorry im rly passionate about egg on ice lol

pikachit: relatable

nutsukidon: so ur the guy phichit thought he was gonna go to jail for calling cute

gomentsukki: omg what

pikachit: STOP

Leo♫: omg ye he thought u were super cute then found out u were a minor and thought he was gonna get arrested

pikachit: PLS I FELT RLY GROSS

gomentsukki: omg im flattered????? im not cute tho omg

pikachit: ...mate

chickenNUTget: mATE YES YOU ARE

Leo♫: be careful or yuri will get jealous

RussianTiger: i dont get jealous

nutsukidon: yeah u do

gomentsukki: PLS IM NOT CUTE IM A MESS

chickenNUTget: a CUTE mess

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: idk what u look like but ur probably cute shut up

chickenNUTget: hey whys ur name ‘gomentsukki’

Leo♫: what does that mean

chickenNUTget: it says sorry...tsukki i assume thats a person???

gomentsukki: omg its an inside joke between me and my volleyball team

gomentsukki: bc i say sorry to tsukki a lot

pikachit: im adding tsukki

 

 **_pikachit_ ** _added_ **_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _to the conversation._

 

pikachit: WELCOME TSUKKI

Leo♫: hello new person who i assume is tsukki

Tsukishima Kei: dont call me that

pikachit: lol soz

pikachit: tsukishima

Tsukishima Kei: why am i here

gomentsukki: they were asking me why my username was gomentsukki so i told them that its an inside joke

gomentsukki: because i say it a lot and the team make fun of me for it but its a habit lol

gomentsukki: so when noya was tellin me to make an acc he told me to make my username gomentsukki bc itd be funny so i did

Tsukishima Kei: shut up yamaguchi

gomentsukki: sorry tsukki

Leo♫: whys he allowed to call u tsukki but not us

Tsukishima Kei: because i said so.

Leo♫: thats not a reason

gomentsukki: me and tsukki have been friends since we were little!!!! he saved me from bullies and weve been friends since then so ive always called him tsukki so he doesnt mind when its me but then new ppl hear me call him it and they start calling him it and he doesnt like it

gomentsukki: i dont like it either really bc its MY nickname for him and i made it up >:(((( only i can call him that

pikachit: thats fair tbh

pikachit: its also gay

gomentsukki: umm ur the one tht called me cute i think ur the gay one here

Tsukishima Kei: yamaguchi are you saying you arent gay?

gomentsukki: i mean. no. but yknow

Leo♫: this whole chat is gay there isnt a ‘gay one’

Leo♫: we are all the gay ones

pikachit: tsukishima are you gay

gomentsukki: he better be gay cos thatd be awkward considering the marks ive got on my neck lmao

Tsukishima Kei: oh my god shut up

gomentsukki: lol sorry tsukki

pikachit: u aint sorry are ya

gomentsukki: ur damn right im not lmao

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> noot


	24. trip halfway across the world - part one

_ ( _ **_‘chickenNUTget’_ ** _ changed their screenname to  _ **_‘chickennugget’_ ** _.) _

 

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: rip 

chickennugget: im soRRY yuri made me change it back

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: yuri ur a snake 

RussianTiger: its dumb 

nutsukidon: take that back

(gay)ua(nut)ghong:the nut names r great

RussianTiger: its stupid

Tsukishima Kei: i agree with the tiger kid

Tsukishima Kei: i dont know what it is but its dumb

RussianTiger: who u callin a kid 

RussianTiger: ill break ur nose bitch

chickennugget: nO FIGHTING PLS

chickennugget: wait are you the blonde guy from karasuno?

Tsukishima Kei: yes?

pikachit: omg ye hes the one tht sounds just like yuri

RussianTiger: we sound nothing alike

pikachit: yea u do

chickennugget: u rly do its freaky

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: did u get any videos

pikachit: ff i didnt

nutsukidon: phichit chulanont didnt take ANY videos?? Fir a WHOLE DAY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? 

nutsukidon: scandalous

pikachit: IM NOT ALWAYS TAKING VIDEOS AND PHOTOS

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: ID BEG TO DIFFER

pikachit: FIGHT ME

Leo♫: guang hong change ur username back

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: no 

Leo♫: why

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: its a good username

Leo♫: pls 

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: why u gotta be a nutshamer huh

pikachit: WHY U A HATER LEO

Leo♫: i dONT LIKE IT ITS A JOKE IM NOT IN ON

nutsukidon: im gna change mine back tbh 

 

( **‘nutsukidon’** changed their screenname to  **‘katsukidon’** .)

 

pikachit: hes back 

katsukidon: back to my roots

(gay)ua(nut)ghong: now i feel out of place smh

 

_ ( ‘ _ **_(gay)ua(nut)ghong_ ** _ ’ changed their screenname to ‘ _ **_(gay)uanghong_ ** _ ’) _

 

(gay)uanghong: leo ur no fun

Leo♫: pls i wanna be in on the jokes

 

-

 

katsukidon: yo whats everyones hogwarts house im a hufflepuff

pikachit: rly i wldve expected u to be gryffindor 

katsukidon: tbh same 

katsukidon: i took the quiz before and got tht but i just retook it and got hufflepuff so idk

pikachit: im a hufflepuff too ayyyyy

Leo♫: im ravenclaw

(gay)uanghong: hECK YEAH HUFFLEPUFF SQUAD

nutman: im a slytherin

pikachit: tbh not surprised

nutman: excuSE ME

pikachit: xxxxxxxxxxx

Thing1: im a ravenclaw i think mickey is gryffindor

Leo♫: hekck yes another ravenclaw

cyberEmil: im a gryffindor

Katsukidon: thsi is so interesting omg 

katsukidon: wheres minami

chickennugget: HI 

chickennugget: IM IN HUFFLEPUFF !!!!!

katsukidon: NICE

pikachit: HUFFLEPUFF PRIDE

gomentsukki: IM A HUFFLEPUFF TOO!!!!

pikachit: omG YESS YAMS

gomentsukki: best house tbh

gomentsukki:  tsukki is a ravenclaw i think

RussianTiger: im a slytherin

katsukidon: duh

RussianTiger: dont get rude pig

(gay)uanghong: slick ur hair back and u wld look like draco malfoy lol

pikachit: FSGHFGSGDF

Thing1: omg yuri do it

RussianTiger: never

Thing1: i jst asked mila she said shes a slytherin too

nutkiforov: are all russians slytherins suddenly?

katsukidon: omg victor are u a slytherin thats sad

nutkiforov: SLYTHERINS ARE MISUNDERSTOOD

RussianTiger: rt

(gay)uanghong: i rlywanna go to the harry potter studios in london

pikachit: fffffffffffff same

katsukidon: lets do it

pikachit: fuc i wish

 

-

 

_ (to: **SECRET CHAT** ) _

 

(gay)uanghong: lets fuckin do it

katsukidon: we cant just up and leave for england??????

(gay)uanghong: why  the fuck not

katsukidon: becaUSE??????????

pikachit: why nOT YUURI ITLL BE FUN

katsukidon: yall r too spontaneous

Pikachit: no such thing

(gay)uanghong: im already looking at flights

katsukidon: ur young how can u afford this

(gay)uanghong: ......thats private

chickennugget: whats going on here??

pikachit: omg minami i forgot ur in this chat

pikachit: we r planning a trip to england do u wanna come???

chickennugget: omg!! Thatd be cool!!!!

chickennugget: i cant though :(( i dont have the money and its too short notice for my parents to let me :(((

pikachit: thats so sad rip

(gay)uanghong: k pack ur bags lads weve got a flight at 7:35 tomorrow morning :)))

katsukidon: wait whaT

katsukidon: HAVE U BOOKED IT??!?!?!??! WTF WTF WTF

katsukidon: WE HAVENT EVEN SPOKEN ABOUT THIS PROPERLY

katsukidon: we dONT EVEN HAVE A HOTEL

(gay)uanghong: chill out my guy its all gd

(gay)uanghong: i havent booked it yet dw im not tht dumb

(gay)uanghong: also i assume u want victor w u so tell him to get packing

katsukidon: this is insane

pikachit: this is AWESOME

pikachit: is leo coming

(gay)uanghong: duh

pikachit: IM GNA BE A FIFTH WHEEL

katsukidon: this isnt happening

(gay)uanghong: yes it is

(gay)uanghong: phichit ask seung gil if he wants to come ;))))))))

pikachit: WHY U GOTTA WINK

 

_ (  _ **_(gay)uanghong_ ** _ added  _ **_geminut_ ** _ to the conversation.) _

 

(gay)uanghong: yo seung gil

geminut: what

(gay)uanghong: u wanna come 2 london w us

gemini: who is ‘us’

(gay)uanghong: me leo phichit yuuri victor

pikachit: what about little yuri

(gay)uanghong: he wld kill u if he heard u call him little

(gay)uanghong: but u make a good point uhh i guess he shld come too

(gay)uanghong: victors rich as fuck he can afford to pay for yuri too

katsukidon: UMM GUYS THIS ISNT SOMETHING WE CAN JUST JUMP INTO

(gay)uanghong: yes it is??? I can book tickets and hotels so its 100% possible

(gay)uanghong: so what about it seung gil u wanna tag along

geminut: when

(gay)uanghong: flight leaves at 7:35 tomorrow morning

geminut: how long we stayin

(gay)uanghong: lookin at the flights nd stuff rn uhh like 4 days

geminut: ok why not

katsukidon: WHY ARE YOU ALL LIKE THIS

pikachit: omg nice 

pikachit: im glad ur coming i thought i was gna be a third wheel the whole time w all the couples

(gay)uanghong: now u seung gil anf yuri will be hangin out

pikachit: uM WE R ALL HANGING OUT THANK U VERY MUCH

pikachit: ALSO I WANNA GO TO LONDON ANIME AND GAMING CON AND IM DRAGGING U ALL WITH ME

(gay)uanghong: oMG NICEEEEE CAN WECOSPLAY

geminut: we are leaving tomorrow. You dont have time to make a cosplay.

pikachit: jokes on u we already got cosplays READY 

(gay)uanghong: YEAAAAAAAAAAA BOIIIIIIII

(gay)uanghong: lets cosplay from egg!!! on ice or mystic messenger ??

pikachit: omg YESSS I JUST FINISHED MY SEVEN JACKET YESTERDAY

(gay)uanghong: NICE GOOD IVE GOT MY STUFF FOR YOOSUNG ALL DONE

(gay)uanghong: YUURI HOWS UR JUMIN COSPLAY GOING

katsukidon: uhh its p much done i dont have a wig but my hair is basically the same if i part it right

geminut: you guys are embarrassing

(gay)uanghong: fiNE UR UNINVITED

geminut: no no i want to come

geminut: im gonna cosplay levi from snk

pikachit: omg yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees

katsukidon: why are u guys. Talking like this is gonna happen

(gay)uanghong: uhh bc it is?? I just booked the hotel im about to book the flights

pikachit: hELL YEA WHERE R WE STAYING

(gay)uanghong: nowhere fancy mate im too poor for tht its just a travelodge near the venue for the con

katsukidon: ur. Rly fast at this

(gay)uanghong: i pride myself in it lol

(gay)uanghong: idk how u guys want hotel arrangements to be….? I booked 2 rooms but i can book another??

pikachit: it cld be  me u leo and seung gil in one and yuuri victor and yuri in the other???

(gay)uanghong: ngl i was thinkin that

katsukidon: …...i dont wanna miss out on ur banter tho :((

pikachit: ah so youve finally accepted ur fate 

katsukidon: i never have a choice with u guys

pikachit: u love us

(gay)uanghong: how about we use one room for storing all our shit and we all pile into the second room like a slumber party

katsukidon: is that legal

pikachit: GREAT IDEA

geminut: i agree with yuuri. Is that legal?

(gay)uanghong: i dont see why it wouldnt be

(gay)uanghong: its not like we r sneaking people into the hotel without them paying

(gay)uanghong: we did pay for two rooms soooo

katsukidon: right

katsukidon: is tht really the best idea though how will we all fit

pikachit: enthusiasm and determination

(gay)uanghong: yuuri have u told victor and yuri to pack yet

katsukidon: no

(gay)uanghong: uGH DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHIGN

 

**_(gay)uanghong_ ** _ added  _ **_nutkiforov_ ** _ and  _ **_RussianTiger_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

Nutkiforov: so you dO HAVE A SECRET CHAT WITHOUT US ALL

katsukidon: sorry?

(gay)uanghong: welcome 

(gay)uanghong: we r all going to england okay

nutkiforov: nice!!!

nutkiforov: when?

(gay)uanghong: tomorrow. Flight is early so pack ur bags and sleep early 

nutkiforov: AWESOME!!!

RussianTiger: why are we going to england?

pikachit: why the heck not

pikachit: we wanna go to a convention and also i wanna go to the harry potter studios thing

RussianTiger: convention?

pikachit: yea we r going to anime and gaming con lol

RussianTiger: omg so cool

katsukidon: WHY AM I GTHE ONLY ONE PHASED BY THIS

(gay)uanghong: bc ur a pussy

nutkiforov: you forget that me and yuri are the kings of spontaneous trips to half way across the world

katsukidon: right

(gay)uanghong: victor can u cosplay v for us at the convention???

nutkiforov: who is that?

pikachit: blind guy in mystic messenger

nutkiforov: im not blind??

(gay)uanghong: but u look just like him just make sure u bring ur sunglasses

(gay)uanghong: ill buy some turquoise hair chalk

pikachit: omg yeS THE WHOLE RFA BOYS

RussianTiger: i want to cosplay too……

katsukidon: omg i never wouldve guessed u wld like that?????

RussianTiger: shut up

RussianTiger: i wish i could cosplay

geminut: im going as levi from snk. You could be armin. You have the hair.

RussianTiger: oh my god yes i already have all the stuff for an armin cosplay i already really wanted to do that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pikachit: omg i cant believe yuri is a nerd like us

RussianTiger: fight me im nowhere near as much of a loser as you guys

RussianTiger: also victor what about training?

nutkiforov: think of this as a vacation

pikachit: victor is the coolest coach

nutkiforov: :D

(gay)uanghong: ok are we all good? Remember the flight times????

pikachit: yes sir

(gay)uanghong: dont call me that

pikachit: sorry sir

katsukidon: does leo know???

(gay)uanghong: SHIT

(gay)uanghong: BRB GONNA RUN TO HIS AND TELL HIM

pikachit: just add him to the gc

(gay)uanghong: HE’D FREAK OUT WORSE THAN YUURI IF IT WAS JUST SAID LIKE THIS BYE

 

-

 

**_(gay)uanghong_ ** _ added  _ **_Leo♫_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

**_(gay)uanghong_ ** _ renamed the conversation “ _ **_SKATESQUAD: IN LONDON_ ** _ ”. _

 

(gay)uanghong: good morning i hope ur all ready to go

pikachit: this is an ungodly hour to be awake

katsukidon: rt

(gay)uanghong: thats the price u pay for ADVENTURE

(gay)uanghong: is everyone awake???

RussianTiger: reluctantly

Leo♫: hi guys

pikachit: yo leo

geminut: good morning

katsukidon: victor is awake hes showering rn

chickennugget: why are you guys awake its 4am

(gay)uanghong: oh shit i forgot u were in the chat im so sorry minami for waking u up

Pikachit: we goin to london

chickennugget: omg nice have fun!!! Im gna mute the chat tho sorry

pikachit: thats fair sleep well

RussianTiger: why isnt he coming?

pikachit: too short notice for him

pikachit: why?? Wanna go on some romantic dates with ur boyfriend in london ;)))

RussianTiger: shut the fuck up

RussianTiger: why are we going so early anyway

(gay)uanghong: it was the cheapest flight they had

RussianTiger: stingy

(gay)uanghong: ill admit it

(gay)uanghong: anyway everyone GET READY TO GO NO ONE BETTER BE LATE U ALL BETTER BE AT THE AIRPORT BY 6 SO WE DONT MISS IT

 

-

 

katsukidon: we are lost

(gay)uanghong: how

(gay)uanghong: where ae you

katsukidon: uhh somewhere in the airport its weird i dont udnerstand airports

(gay)uanghong: ffff call me ill try and give directions over the phone

katsukidon: thx

 

-

 

geminut: where are you guys

pikachit: we cld ask u the time thing TARDY ASS

geminut: it would have been a better idea to plan a meeting place for when we all got here

(gay)uanghong WE R BY THE MASIVE SIGNS HURRY UP ITS ALMOST TIME

geminut: there are a lot of signs.

(gay)uanghong: IF WE HAVE TO GET A LATER PLANE BC OF U BEING LATE, WE WILL MISS OUR CONNECTING FLIGHT HURRRYRYYRYRYRY

geminut: ok ok i see you now.

 

-

 

_ (To:  _ **_the nutshack_ ** _ ) _

 

liftqueen: has anyone seen victor?

nutman: nope 

liftqueen: hes usually at the rink today??? Hes not here??????

nutman: thats weird try calling him

liftqueen: i did but it just went straight to voicemail

nutman: thats weird

cyberEmil: try calling yuuri?

liftqueen: good idea

liftqueen: update his went to voicemail too

liftqueen: i also tried yura but so did his

nutman: what the fuck theyre all missing?

cyberEmil: WHAT IF THEY ALL DIED

Thing2: theyre probably not dead

cyberEmil: BUT WE DONT KNOW FOR CERTAIN MICKEY WE DONT KNOW FOR CERTAIN

Thing2: i think we should wait a little before we panic. its still early so they could just be asleep

liftqueen: fff maybe 

 

-

 

katsukidon: HI SORRY WE ARENT DEAD

nutman: WHERE ARE YOU ALL??

nutman: PHICHIT DIDNT SHOW UP TO PRACTICE EITHER WHERE ARE YOU

pikachit: currently we are in tokyo

nutman: . why

nutman: whos ‘we’ how many of you are there

pikachit: lol shit we forgot to tell u

Pikachit: me yuuri seung gil victor leo gh and yuri are all on our way to england

liftqueen: UHHHHH WHAT

pikachit: yeah!!!!

pikachit: we r waiting for our connecting flight rn, we had to fly from kyushu to tokyo first and now we r waiting for our flight to england

nutman: why the fuck are you going there???

nutman: when was this planned???? Why wasnt i invited???

katsukidon: uhh it was very last minute

pikachit: yeah we planned it yesterday afternoon

nutman: ??????????????

katsukidon: not my idea

liftqueen: i cant believe you guys are going to england without even TELLING US

pikachit: ur not my mum i do what i WANT

liftqueen: smfh

 

-

 

nutkiforov: GREETINGS FROM BRITAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

liftqueen: i cant believe you guys

nutkiforov: why? Weve done this before

liftqueen: still you better not plan on living there

katsukidon: nonono its just a vacation

nutman: offended i wasnt invited

nutkiforov: sorry chris i didnt plan it otherwise i woudlve invited you :(

liftqueen: what are you guys even doing???

katsukidon: we just got to the hotel

katsukidon: phichit and g thought itd be a good idea to use one hotel room to store all our luggage, and to cram everone into one room to sleep

liftqueen: how big are the rooms?

katsukidon: not big enough theres a double bed and two singles and not much room on the floor at all

liftqueen: you guys are messes

pikachit: DONT BE SUCH A DOWNER YUURI ITLL BE FUN ITS LIKE A BONDING EXPERIENCE FOR US!!!!!!!!

katsukidon: we are already all closer than we should be

pikachit: IT DOESNT HURT TO GET CLOSER

katsukidon: me nd u have each others initials tattooed on our ankles we cant get any closer than that

nutman: omg WHAT WHY

pikachit: FHDFS ###WILD COLLEGE KIDS

liftqueen: i cant imagine yuuri with a tattoo

katsukidon: its only small omg 

liftqueen: why did u guys do tht 

pikachit: bc we are BEST FRIENDS

pikachit: i figured out what stick and poke tattoos were when we were living together in detroit and i started becoming like. an amature tattoo artist for people on campus omg

liftqueen: isnt that illegal??

pikachit: probably

pikachit: anyway i never gave myself one  but then yuuri said he was going back to japan and we both got really emo

katsukidon: lots of crying

pikachit: yep

pikachit: we thought we wld never see eachother again and we were proper emotional and stuff so we agreed to tattoo our initials on eachother

katsukidon: well no u did both i dont trust myself with a needle

liftqueen: thats so cute and also STUPID U GUYS CLDVE GOTTEN INFECTED

pikachit: IK IM SORRY WE WERE YOUNG RECKLESS COLLEGE KIDS

pikachit: in my defense NONE OF MY CLIENTS EVER GOT INFECTED AND WERE ALL GENERALLY HAPPY WITH THEIR RESULTS

katsukidon: “clients”

pikachit: they paid me so they were clients dont get RUDE

liftqueen: ffff the idea of ur guys dorm room being a makeshift illegal tattoo parlor is so funny to me

pikachit: business is business

liftqueen:................ Wld u tattoo me ???

pikachit: weRENT U THE ONE WHO CALLED US IDIOTS

liftqueen: WELL U SAID U WERE GOOD AND SAFE SO

pikachit: fff okay sure what do u want

liftqueen: omg nICE HOW MUCH DO U CHARGE

liftqueen: also uhh idk what yet ill think about it and get back 2 u

pikachit: ur a pal so itll be free of charge

liftqueen: UR THE REAL OG

(gay)uanghong: GET OUT OF THE CHAT WE R GOING OUT TO NANDOS

liftqueen: wtf is nandos

(gay)uanghong: CHICKEN RESTAURANT

(gay)uanghong: CMON PHICHIT YUURI HURRY UR ASSES GET CHANGED WE R ABT TO LEAVE OR WE WILL LEAVE WITHOUT U

katsukidon: oKAY OKAY ON OUR WAY

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer : pls dont do stick and poke tattoos they are really dangerous and PERMANENT do not do it i do not condone illegal tattooing im just adding something from ##my LIFE nice ok


	25. part 2 is finally here after like 34857485 years oops sorry bout it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i didnt update for a whole two months i have depression and a puppy

chickennugget: wheres yuri hes not picking up his phone

chickennugget: this is homophobic

chickennugget: im being aired by my boyfriend this is abuse im calling the police

pikachit: hes in the bathroom he aint abt to pick up the phone whilst hes pissing

chickennugget: wait where r u

pikachit: nandos

chickennugget: tf is that

pikachit: restaurant????? 

pikachit: in london mate

chickennugget: WAIT WHAT

(gay)uanghong: did u forget we went to england

(gay)uanghong: we INVITED U

chickennugget: oh yeah lol

chickennugget: sorry the author hasnt updated in almost two months i forgot whatd happened

katsukidon: what

chickennugget: nothin lol

Thing1: wait you guys are in england

Thing1: wtf why

(gay)uanghong: why the hekc not 

chickennugget: get me a souvenir xoxooxoxox

(gay)uanghong: ofc

Thing1: are u guys at nandos

pikachit: ye its so good wtf????

chickennugget: whats sold in nandos?

(gay)uanghong: you

chickennugget: . what

pikachit: ur a chicken nugget

pikachit: they dont do chuickken nuggets but its a chicken place

chickennugget: omg nice

Thing1: fff i miss nandos why isnt there one in kyushu

pikachit: bc japan SUUUUUUCKS

pikachut: yuuri just smacked me for sending tht

Thing1: nice

katsukidon: dont be rude about my hOMELAND

katsukidon: also why tf r you two awake isnt it like 5am

chickennugget: i started mystic messenger and there was a chat at 4:30 so i set an alarm so i wont miss it

katsukidon: ffff okay me

Thing1: yolo

Thing1: what r u guys even GONNA DO in england

pikachit: we goin 2 a convention tomorrow omg

pikachit: and i wanna go to harry potter studios so prob tht too

Thing1: im jealous

pikachit: B)

 

-

 

_ (to:  _ **_SKATESQUAD: IN LONDON_ **

 

Leo♫: yo @ phichit @ victor where the fuck are you

pikachit: NOT IN THE ROOM

Leo♫: yeah i see that but where did u go

Leo♫: u left to get stuff from the other room like 30 mins ago did u get lost

Leo♫: whyd we even squish everyone to sleep in one room and use the other for storage anyway it was dumb anyway where r u

pikachit: WE R OUT 

Leo♫: ?

pikachit: WE WENT TO GET OUR CLOTHES ND SHIT FOR ##BEDTIME BUT LOOKIN AT OUR STUFF I REALISED I LEFT MY NECKLACE FOR MY 707 COSPLAY AT HOME

pikachit: ALSO I FORGOT TO GET CHALK FOR VICTORS HAIR SO WE R OUT 

Leo♫: its LATE WTF DOES IT RLY MATTER????????

pikachit: YES I NEED TO BE ACCURATE

Leo♫: are any shops gonna even be open this late??? Where tf r u gonna find a fukcing cross necklace at this time at night

pikachit: jokes on u we already found it we r just lookin for turquoise hair chalk now

Leo♫: i just told the others what ur doin and yuri said ur both fucking losers

Leo♫: also now yuuri and guang hong  r goin to the other room to check they have their stuff smh look what u have done

pikachit: im not sorry

Leo♫: yall r unbelievable

pikachit: UM THE CON IS TOMORROW I WANNA LOOK GOOD

pikachit: also u cant talk ur the one that passed out from crying bc u cldnt get ur zen wig to look right 

Leo ♫: . yknow what? die

(gay)uanghong: phichit get some hair spray whilst ur out pls xoxoxooxoxoxo

pikachit: ofc good idea

katsukidon: can5t belieb my fiance and best friend r eloping without me

pikachit: WE ARENT ELOPING WE ARE SHOPPING

katsukidon: side eye emoji

(gay)uanghong: vichit new otp

pikachit: VICHIT HOHLHDDDRF

katsukidon: I DO NOT APPROVE OF THIS

pikachit: u can join us. Polyamory.

katsukidon: get ya paws off hes mine

Leo♫: vichit has a cute kinda ring to ot

katsukidon: i hope u all die

 

-

 

(gay)uanghong: yo im actually freaked out by how much victor looks like v rn

pikachit: fFFF RIGHT  ITS SO WEIRD

pikachit: literally a scarily accurate cosplay and he doeSNT EVEN KNOW WHO V IS

(gay)uanghong: im offended and jealous ngl

pikachit: shh dont be jealous u make such a cute yoosung <3

(gay)uanghong: BAB<3 u make a perf seven pls

katsukidon: this is cute and all but phichit get off ur phone and hurry up in the bathroom i need to do my hair

pikachit: aight sorry but it TAKES EFFORT TO BE AS BEAUTIFUL AS SEVEN

katsukidon: SHUT UP HURRY UP 

pikachit: donttellmewhattodo.png

katsukidon: STOP TAKIGN SELFIES AND HURRY UP

pikachit: fuckyou.png

katsukidon: RUDE

Leo♫: ye phichit pls hurry we gotta leave soon and i gotta put in my contact lenses and i cant without a mirror and victor is using the one out here

pikachit: alright alright 

(gay)uanghong: wheres yuri and seung gil

pikachit: in the ‘storage room’ gettin ready

pikachit: yuri felt weird changing around everyone 

pikachit: and theyre helpin eachother bc theyre both doing snk stuff

katsukidon: yknow i could never get into attack on titan

Leo♫: i feel u its not everyones cup of tea

katsukidon: i feel like such an OUTCAST literally everyone and their grandma has seen it except me

(gay)uanghong: dw ur not missin too much its army dudes and giant naked men

nutkiforov: sounds like my type of show

(gay)uanghong: the naked men wanna kill u tho

nutkiforov: ill take that risk

katsukidon: we r breakin up

 

-

_ (To:  _ **_the nutshack_ ** _~~or whatever i named this gc in the previous chapters idk its been a while...u kno its the Main One w the whole gang~~ ) _

 

liftqueen: hows england assholes

pikachit: its goOD

pikachit: we r at the convention rn

pikachit: weve been stopped like a billion times bc ppl wanna take photof of us

liftqueen: who r u dressed as

pikachit: me leo g victor and yuuri r mysme, yuri and seung gil r snk

liftqueen: idk what that is but nice

katsukidon: PPL KEEP CALLING ME ‘DADDY JUMIN’ AND IDK HOW TO RESPOND TO THAT

liftqueen: FESHJFHSDH 

assman: can i call u daddy jumin

assman: whos jumin

assman: . daddy jumin yuuri

katsukidon: im jumin

katsukidon: kind of

katsukidon: im jumin rn

liftqueen: who the fuck is jumin

liftqueen: im just gonna call u daddy

katsukidon: pls dont

assman: daddy

cyberEmil: daddy

cyberEmil: hi idk what i walked in on but i guess yuuri is our dad now

assman: not our dad

assman: hes our DADDY

cyberEmil: oH OKAY

katsukidon: STOP CALLING ME DADDY

pikachit: LMAOOOOO 

pikachit: daddy yuuri

katsukidon: phichit im gonna kick u in the clit

pikachit: ouch please dont

katsukidon: then doNT CALL ME DADDY

nutkiforov: im the daddy

katsukidon: go away

nutkiforov: :(

pikachit: victor u cant be daddy ur blind

liftqueen: what

nutkiforov: im not blind

pikachit: v is blind so ur blind

katsukidon: by that logic hes also korean

pikachit: by that logic we are ALL korean

liftqueen: lterally what the fuck are u talking aboug

pikachit: video game

katsukidon: ‘video game’ yeah alright whatever helps u sleep at night

pikachit: ITS A GAME IDK WHAT U MEAN

katsukidon: its a dating sim

pikachit: its still a game

katsukidon: k

 

-

 

geminut: yuri just spend £30 on a cat plushie

liftqueen: wow yura

RussianTiger: shut up it was calling to me

geminut: tbh its big and soft and kind of the best thing ever

RussianTiger: best £30 ive ever spent

liftqueen: idek how much that is

liftqueen: what is currency

geminut: like. over 4000 yen

liftqueen: WOW YURA

RussianTiger: shut up hag its cute unlike u

liftqueen: rude

Thing1: um i disagree mila is cute as fuck

liftqueen: baBE <3333

RussianTiger: ew gay

geminut: ...u have a boyfriend

RussianTiger: shut up u

 

-

 

(gay)uanghong: HOLY SHIT WE JUST SAW THE CUTEST GROUP OF EGG!!! ON ICE COSPLAYERS

assman: pics or it didnt happen

(gay)uanghong: LOOKHOWCUTETHEYARE.jpg

assman: DAMN THOSE CHEMMA COSPLAYERS ARE SO ACCURATE???

(gay)aunghong: THEYRE ALL SO ACCURATE AND SWEETTTT???? IM S??????

Leo♫: i got a selfie w my fav <3

Leo♫: meandjamie.jpg

liftqueen: idk these ppl but theyre cute as all hell

pikachit: THE LUCAIDANNNN THOOOOOOOOO

pikachit: WHERES YAMAGUCHI

gomentsukki: sup bitch

pikachit: LOOK 

pikachit: CUTEASSLUCAIDANCOSPLAYERS????.jpg

gomentsukki: FAITH IN HUMANITY HAS BEEN RESTORED

liftqueen: who the fuck are you

gomentsukki: who the fuck are YOU

liftqueen: i asked u first

gomentsukki: i asked u second

pikachit: mila thts yams he plays volleyball

gomentsukki: hes right im yams i play volleyball

katsukidon: ok but guys. The laura cosplayer.

Leo♫: we get it they were ALL SWEET

katsukidon: NO THE LAURA COSPLAYER

katsukidon: THEY SLIPPED ME A FLASK WITH A CANADIAN FLAG ON IT

pikachit: LIKE. A HIP FLASK OR???

katsukidon: YEAH?????IDK WHATS IN IT IM SCARED TO DRINK IT WHAT IF THEYRE TRYING TO DRUG MER

Leo♫: laura is canadian she wld never drug u

katsukidon: not all canadians r kind

katsukidon: have u met JJ

Leo♫: fair

pikachit: i dare u to down it

katsukidon: how about i dont do that

pikachit: pussy

katsukidon: dick

pikachit: ass

katsukidon: chode

pikachit: cunt

katsukidon: cock

pikachit: knob

katsukidon: ...wang?

pikachit: ..SCHLONG

katsukidon: .sausage

(gay)uanghong: ERRYBODY SAY SAUSAGE KEEP IT GOIN

(gay)uanghong: EGGS BACON GRITS

pikachit: SAUSAGE

liftqueen: this meme is old

(gay)uanghong: IM A SKINNY BITCH BUT I STILL TAKE THE

pikachit: SAUSAGE

assman: I GOT A FAT ASS BUT I STILL TAKE THE 

(gay)uanghong: SAUSAGE

pikachit: I GOT A FLAT ASS BUT I STILLTAKE THE 

(gay)uanghong: SAUSAGE

liftqueen: u guys r embarrassing

(gay)uanghong: someone carry on

(gay)uanghong: pls

gomentsukki: WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN AND I EAT THAT

liftqueen: yamaguchi why

pikachit: SAUSAGE

chickennugget: IM A REDHEAD BUT I STILL TAKE THE

(gay)uanghong: SAUSAGE

pikachit: ur not a red head and also ur age

chickennugget: i have a red streak shut ur mouth

katsukidon: IM GAY AS ALL HELL U KNO I TAKE THT

(gay)uanghong: SAUSAGE

nutkiforov: WHITE BOY SWAG AND IMA TAKE UR MANS

assman: SAUSAGE

katsukidon: no ur fuckin not

nutkiforov: ;)))

liftqueen: i give up

otabeka: whats going on

(gay)uanghong: sausage. U gottta keep it goin

otabeka: UUUAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(gay)uanghong: good enough

(gay)uanghong: SAUSAGE

cyberEmil: IM WHITE AND IM THICC BUT U KNOW I TAKE THE

pikachit: SAUSAGE

Thing2: ur not even thick

cyberEmil: ‘thicc’ 

cyberEmil: u dont pay enough attention to my ass

Leo♫: YEAH I READ BOOKS BUT THEY ALL ABOUT

(gay)uanghong: SAUSAGE

pikachit: SAUSAUSAUSAUSAUSUAUSAUSUA SAUSAGE

Thing1: i like girls can i still take sausage??

Liftqueen: im breaking up w u and also killing ymself

(gay)uanghong: YES SARA UR TIMING WAS GREAT

otabeka: how did we get everyone here at once

pikachit: everyone likes sausage

katsukidon: this is an old meme and i hate myself for taking part in it

(gay)uanghong: i appreciate all ur hard work

RussianTiger: ur all the actual worst

chickennugget: even me ??? :((((

RussianTiger: especially u

chickennugget: :((((( meanie yuri

gomentsukki: im the best fight me short ass

RussianTiger: call me short one more fuckin time ok freckleface and i wint hesitate to pull ur dumb ass ahoge out of ur head and kick u in the stomach to bring u down to my level

gomentsukki: ….damn hes a fiesty one

Tsukishima Kei: yamaguchi dont get involved, hes not worth your time

RussianTiger: excuse me?

RussianTiger: not worth your time?

RussianTiger: well so~rry princess didnt realise u volleyball idiots had a superiority complex over us

RussianTiger: is it cos i skate huh is it cos its a ‘girly’ sport ???????? u may be tall and intimidating but i could do a quad salchow and cut a perfect line down your face in mid air with my skates AND land it perfectly 

RussianTiger: ppl call me a fairy and usually i get pissed but right about now it works out well bc, tsukishima, i may be light as a fucking feather but my legs are stronger than your relationship with your brother and i cld cut you with my skates deeper than your emotional problems so yeah u can think im inferior but just know that im ready to slice and dice u like a fucking onion u lanky bastard just wait till i get back to japan

chickennugget: ….holy crap yuri

Tsukishima Kei: minami, control your mutt

pikachit: HOLY SHIT

chickennugget: my...mutt?

Tsukishima Kei: yeah, your little dog, hes off his leash, pull him back

pikachit: OHHHJMTJGS 

chickennugget: idk hes more like a cat i think

RussianTiger: EXCUSE ME? MUTT? 

gomentsukki: tsukki,,,,,,,

gomentsukki: he called u a princess lmao thats new

gomentsukki: ur like the new kageyama

Tsukishima Kei: literally shut your mouth yamaguchi

gomentsukki: lol soz

RussianTiger: youve got some nerve, four eyes

katsukidon: how come uve never called me that

RussianTiger: go away

Tsukishima Kei: oh wow so scary~~ yamaguchi save me, the little animals trying to bite me

gomentsukki: omghdg tsukki stop riling him up

RussianTiger: im going to fucking kill you when i get back home you hear me?

RussianTiger: ur insufferable i have no idea how freckleface tolerates u all day every day

katsukidon: yuri i think thats enough

RussianTiger: oh so youre on his side???

katsukidon: im not on anyones side im just saying u shld maybe stop

pikachit: as much as i like drama,,, yuuriis right its probably time to calm down

RussianTiger: why am i being scolded right now?!?!?! he started it?!?!?!

pikachit: he really didnt but ok

gomentsukki: yeah u called me freckleface first

RussianTiger: shut the fuck up ill cut you

katsukidon: yuri.

katsukidon: stop.

Tsukishima Kei: youre like his parents lol

katsukidon: well hes gotta know when to stop

katsukidon: im sorry about him

Tsukishima Kei: no apologies needed; i wanted some entertainment today

RussianTiger: how comes HE can do whatever he wants??????

Katsukidon: he doesnt dignify school-yard taunts with such a response

Pikachit: yea u got really pissed mate

pikachit: also we hardly know him we cant scold him

RussianTiger: i hate you all so fucking much im not even fucking kidding

 

**_RussianTiger_ ** _ left the conversation. _

 

gomentsukki: tsukki look what u did u made him leave

Tsukishima Kei: sorry for provoking him

katsukidon: its alright dw hes just rly easily angered

pikachit: shall i add him back

katsukidon: nah we’ll add him back later when hes not about to rip off everyones head

katsukidon: where is he anyway

geminut: idk he ran off bc he saw some cute charms in the artists alley but then i lost him

katsukidon: great

 

-

 

_ (to:  _ **_SKATESQUAD: IN LONDON_ ** _ ) _

  
  


Leo♫: this wig is annoying as fuck

katsukidon: dw we shld be gettin back to the hotel soon anyway so we can change

Leo♫: thank god

katsukidon: ok everyone meet outside the venue in 5 mins 

Leo♫: roger

 

-

 

katsukidon: phichit guang hong wherre r u

katsukidon: guys

katsukidon: pick up ur phones

katsukidon: its been 30 mins

katsukidon: we wld leave without u but phichit u have the key to the sleeping room

katsukidon: why did i think tht was a good idea

katsukidon: why didnt i take both keys

chickennugget: yuuri!!!! Whats up??

katsukidon: we have lost phichit and guang hong

chickennugget: o no

chickennugget: who was the last to see them???

katsukidon: leo saw them talking to some other mystic messenger cosplayers

katsukidon: he said that phichit looked very in character sobbing and clinging to a saeran cosplayer

chickennugget: oh dear

pikachit: HI SORRY WE ARENT DEAD

Pikachit: WE R IN A BIT OF A PREDICAMENT

katsukidon: where are u wtf

pikachit: UHH GOOD QUESTION

katsukidon: r u lost do u want us to come find u

pikachit: UHH NO ITS ALL GOOD

pikachit: BEST IF U DONT TRY TO FIND US

Katsukidon: ???????????????????????????????

Leo♫: where aRE U

pikachit: …..RIVER THAMES

Leo♫: where

katsukidon: THE. THE RIVER THAMES. UR IN THE BIGGEST RIVER IN ENGLAND.

pikachit: NOT IN IT. ON IT.

katsukidon: ...WHY ON EARTH ARE U THERE

pikachit: LONG STORY BUT UHH CAN U GO BAKC TOHTHE HOTEL AND PACK EVERYTHIGN FROM THE STORAGE ROOM

katsukidon: why

katsukidon: weve only been here two days

pikachit: YEAH UHHH WE R GONNA HAVE TO GO HOME

pikachit: LIKE.

pikachit: AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

pikachit: LEO CAN U BOOK FLIGHTS

Leo♫: whATS HAPPENING I DONT UDNERSTAND

Leo♫: WHERES GUANG HONG 

pikachit: HES HERE HE CANT TYPE BC HES ROWING

Leo♫: ….WHAT

Pikachit: I SHLD BE ROWING TOO BUT U GUYS WONT STOP ASKIN FUCKING QUESTIONS

Leo♫: WELL SORRY WE ARE A BIT CONFUSED RIGHT NOW

pikachit: WE ARE IN A FUCKING BOAT OKAY I DONT HAVE TIME TO EXPLAIN PLS JUST . GO BACK, PACK UP EVERYTHING U CAN, BOOK FLIGHTS WE WILL MEET U BACK AT THE HOTEL SO WE CAN GET INTO THE OTHER ROOM

katsukidon: WHY ARE YOU IN A BOAT

pikachit: BECAUSE WE STOLE IT

katsukidon: WHAT

pikachit: ITS MORE OF A CANOE THAN A BOAT BUT YEAH 

katsukidon: WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR

pikachit: I DONT FUCKING KNOW WE SAW IT AND DECIDED TO STEAL IT

RussianTiger: u do know that theft is still illegal in england right

Pikachit: OBVIOUSLY

pikachit: WE ARENT DUMB

katsukidon: couldve fooled me

pikachit: ARE U GONNA DO AS I SAY OR NOT

katsukidon: OKAY FINE OKAY

katsukidon: WHY DO WE HAVE TO GO HOME THO

pikachit: uhh because otherwise we will GO TO JAIL???

pikachit: WE’RE CURRENTLY RUNNING FROM THE POLICE

pikachit: OR… ROWING

katsukidon: WHAT 

pikachit: stealing is illegal, yuuri, they wanna arrest us

katsukidon: IF YOU KNOW THAT THEN WHYD YOU DO IT

pikachit: IDK MAN ITS THE THRILL

pikachit: I SAW THE BOAT AND POINTED TO IT AND WAS LIKE HEY GH THATS A PRETTY NEAT BOAT

pikachit: AND HE WAS LIKE HEY WANNA STEAL IT

pikachit: AND I WAS LIKE YEAH SURE WHY THE HECK NOT

pikachit: SO WE STOLE ITAND NOW WE ARE ROWING ACROSS THE THAMES

RussianTiger: youre so gonna get caught

pikachit: guang hong is faster at rowing than youd expect

katsukidon: how did u manage to steal an entire canoe

Pikachit: U ASK TOO MANY QUESTIONS

katsukidon: IM NOT HELPING UR CRIMINAL ESCAPE UNLESS WE KNOW ALL THE DETAILS

pikachit: UGH FINE

pikachit: GUANG HONG SPOKE TO THE SELLER THEN DISTRACTED HIM WITH LIKE A ‘WOAH LOOK OVER THERE’ AND I KNELT BEHIND THE GUYS KNEES AND GUANG HONG PUSHED HIM SO HE FELL OVER ME SO THEN GUANG HONG RUSHED TO THE BOAT AND QUICKLY UNTIED IT FROM WHERE IT WAS ON THE LIL STAND THING AND  WHEN HE WAS ON THE FLOOR I STOOD UP AND AKE KICKED HIM IN THE HEAD SO I THINKHE PASSED OUT AND THEN THE POLICE SAW US SO WE QUICKLY THREW THE BOAT IN THE RIVER AND GOT IN AND NOW WE ARE ROWING ACROSS THE THAMES

katsukidon: …..YOU KICKED A GUY

pikachit: I DID INDEED

katsukidon: THIS IS A HIT AND RUN

pikachit: UR RIGHT

Leo♫: holy fuck.

pikachit: LISTEN IT WAS A BAD IDEA WE MADE A MISTAKE. ARE U GONNA HELP US NOT GET THROWN IN JAIL OR NOT

katsukidon: . we really dont have much of a choice here

pikachit: THANK U SM UR THE REAL MVP <33333

pikachit: OK PLS GO PACK AND BOOK A FLIGHT FOR LIKE,,, THIS EVENING IF  POSSIBL

pikachit: WE WILL MEET U AT THE HOTEL ASAP

katsukidon: roger 

chickennugget: …...kinda glad i didnt come w u guys this sounds scary

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ill try and get back into updatin all the time like i used to sorry for bein absent. ALSO i forgot my tumblr password oopsies lol so hit me up on my new tumblr: angelyamaguchi.tumblr.com


	26. if u were skating at like the grand prix and then all the ice melted and u fell into like the massive pool would that be fucked up or what

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hated writing this chapter with every essence of my being. this is the worst chapter i hated writing it and i hate it now but i had to tie up that stupid boat thing somehow. memes and lighthearted gay shit will continue next time. also sorry for the long wait again i am still depressed and i still have a puppy

pikachit: are u at the hotel

katsukidon: affirmative

pikachit: ok im omw

pikachit: also have u booked a flight

katsukidon: negative

pikachit: stop speaking like a spy wtf

pikachit: and Good dont book it bc guang hong got arrested

katsukidon: im sorry what

pikachit: guang hong got arrested

Leo ♫: what the fuck phichit

Leo♫: how did you let that happen?

pikachit: it wasnt my fault okay im trying my best here

Leo♫: literally how isnt this your fault???

Leo♫: you stole a fucking boat and now guang hong is probably in jail

pikachit: we BOTH stole the boat it wasnt just me

pikachit: i didnt do it to purposefully get him thrown in jail

katsukidon: how do we get him out????

pikachit: i can prob break him out

Leo♫: no more crimes i swear to god phichit you need to grow the fuck up

pikachit: why are you being such a dick

Leo♫: why am I being a dick????? Im sorry am i the one who knocked some guy out, stole a boat, and got guang hong arrested???

pikachit: jesus christ you think i dont know how much of a fuck up this is??

pikachit: what else do you suppose i do leo? Just leave him in a jail in a foreign country? or should i actually try and get him out of this mess?

Leo♫: committing another crime, in your case breaking into a jail, isnt how to get out of jail

pikachit: can you stop being a condescending prat for two seconds? 

katsukidon: phichit where are you

pikachit: like a block away from the hotel

katsukidon: okay great

Leo♫: why do you think these things are a good idea ? how old ARE you, 12?

pikachit: yuuri, hit leo for me

katsukidon: uhhhhh

RussianTiger: how abt insted of arguing, we jst get victor to pay bail

pikachit: ……….

pikachit: LITTLE YURI U ARE A GENIUS

RussianTiger: ik

pikachit: will he be chill with that

RussianTiger: hes gonna have to be ok w it

RussianTiger: hes practically made of money and unless he wants to be responsible fr us leavin gh in england then hes gna have 2 pay up

  
  


\---

  
  
  


**_To: the nutshack_ **

 

liftqueen: that wild bunch havent said anything in a couple hours its weird theyre usually on here constantly

assman: youre right

assman: maybe its a timezone thing?

liftqueen: nah it should be like, 4pm there right now

assman: thats weird

liftqueen: tru

liftquuen: it says theyve been online recently tho so atleast they arent dead

assman: yo british bitches get in here if ur not dead

liftqueen: they arent british if theyre just in britain

assman: shut

otabeka: they were at a convention so theyre probably busy

assman: good point

assman: im not worried its not been that long,, i just dont wanna be missing out on their drama :((

liftqueen: same :((

otabeka: dont worry im sure theyd be all up in here if there was drama

assman: u right u right they cant do aything without phichit alerting the gc

liftqueen: lol right phichit is such a gossip we wldnt miss any drama

  
  


\---

  
  


pikachit: well what do ya know, u guys missed some srs drama

assman: WHAT THE FUCK UR KIDDING ME

pikachit: NOT KIDDING DUDE 

pikachit: I GOTTA FILL U IN

Leo♫: it baffles me how you can act normal after this

pikachit: well youre all acting weird, someones gotta act normal or we’ll all explode 

assman: WHAT HAPPENED

Leo♫: i wonder why we’re acting weird?

Leo♫: oh yeah. Because you royally fucked up.

pikachit: hey its just as much guang hongs fault as it is mine

pikachit: no offense g ily

(gay)uanghong: none taken p ily2

pikachit: see me and g are fine but YOU have to be like this

pikachit: just let it go

assman: guys what HAPPENED

Leo♫: i cant just let this shit go, phichit

Leo♫: you got my boyfriend ARRESTED.

Leo♫: he was in JAIL.

pikachit: HE got HIMSELF arrested!!!!!!! And victor bailed him out so whats the fucking problem hes not still in jail

Leo♫: thats not the point

Leo♫: how comes YOU didnt get arrested but he did??

assman: what the fuck guys

pikachit: thats just how it happened okay???? We ran, they caught him, i kept running

Leo♫: why the fuck didnt you stop and try and get him

pikachit: i did for a second

pikachit: but if i had also gotten arrested, u guy wouldve had no idea where we were

Leo♫: unbelievable

(gay)uanghong: in phichits defense, i was only in the cell for like 10 mins before u guys got there to get me

Leo♫: stay out of this guang hong

(gay)uanghong: no?? This is my situation too??

Leo♫: you’re not in the wrong here

(gay)uanghong: what the fuck i literally stole a boat

(gay)uanghong: we knocked a dude out

(gay)uanghong: i committed a crime wtf why are you only getting mad at phichit for this

Leo♫: hes a bad influence on you

pikachit: LMAO

pikachit: THIS IS FUCKING GOLDEN

Leo♫: you are and you know it

assman: guys arent u together currently??

(gay)uanghong: phichit went on a walk bc they were yelling so much in the hotel

(gay)uanghong: idk where leo is

Leo♫: im in the carpark

assman: ok but what exactly happened

assman: im the love master christophe, i can fix this lovers quarrel

Leo♫: its not a lovers quarrel im hardly mad at guang hong

assman: but u and phichit

Leo♫: ? im not dating phichit wtf

assman: ,,,,,i kinda just assumed u three were together

(gay)uanghong: omgggggg

pikachit: omG 

Pikachit: u wldnt be the first to say that omg

(gay)uanghong: ##leojichuchuOT3

pikachit: OMG

assman: is this how youre gonna resolve this fight

assman: with adding phichit to ur relationship

Leo♫: no??

(gay)uanghong: yes

pikachit: yes

geminut: no

pikachit: hi seung gil

geminut: hi whered u go

pikachit: im at the co op round the corner from the hotel

geminut: ok omw

pikachit: why???????

assman: ……...are you guys cool now???

Leo♫: no

pikachit: yes

assman: …

pikachit: dude lets just put it behind us ok

pikachit: me and g are okay and not hurt, we are safe, its all good

pikachit: we’ve learned out lesson

pikachit: arguing with u sucks, man

pikachit: ur one of the coolest ppl i know ok i dont want u to be mad at me forever and theres not much else i can do

Leo♫: fffff okay okay im sorry

Leo♫: i really am sorry i did say some shitty things

(gay)uanghong: u did

Leo♫: thx i know

pikachit: its aight my dude, as long as we cool then im chill

Leo♫: we’re cool

Leo♫: i rly didnt mean it though when i said you were a bad influence

Leo♫: idk im just so protective over guang hong i dont want him to ruin his life or something yknow

(gay)uanghong: aww babe <3

pikachit: i feel ya

pikachit: do u want some dr pepper from the shop

Leo♫: pls 

pikachit: as a peace offering

assman: so uhh

assman: im glad u guys are friends again and i dont wanna ruin the momet or start another fight but can u pls explain what happened

assman: im still v confused

(gay)uanghong: o ye

(gay)uanghong: me and phichit stole a boat and then i got arrested

(gay)uanghong: victor bailed me out 

(gay)uanghong: lucky tht hes so rich

nutkiforov: im not THAT rich

assman: you got me a horse and a stable for it for my birthday last year

nutkiforov:  ...........

(gay)uanghong: daMN VICTOR

(gay)aunghong: u must treat yuuri like a prince

nutkiforov: of course i do, im a great boyfriend!

pikachit: seung gil just ran into the co-op and slapped me 

assman: what the FUCK SEUNG GIL

geminut: he deserved it

assman: no more fighting

geminut: he made us WORRY

pikachit: he kissed it better

(gay)uanghong: ha gaaaaaaaay

(gay)uanghong:............

(gay)uanghong………….?!?!!!

Leo♫:....?!!? WHAT

(gay)uanghong: WHGATEDSDF HOLD THE FUCKIGN PHONE

geminut: i hit his face and kissed it better isnt that what youre supposed to do

assman: i mean ????? i guess????????? 

nutkiforov: isnt that domestic abuse

pikachit: no we arent dating

nutkiforov: does that just make it. Abuse

pikachit: i guess but tbh i deserved it and it wasnt that hard and i didnt mind and he kissed my cheek sO

geminut: what do you mean we arent dating?

pikachit: we arent

geminut: but i just kissed you

pikachit: you also just hit me

geminut: you said you didnt mind just now????

Nutkiforov: arent u literally in the same store rn

pikachit: im too shy to speak aloud

Leo♫: aww

Nutkiforov: i just told yuuri what happened and he squealed and now hes clapping his hands violently

pikachit: tell him hes a great bff

assman: wait so whos dating im so confused

assman: didnt phichit just join leo and guang hong

pikachit: not officially

(gay)uanghong: yet

Leo♫: WE HAVENT SPOKEN ABOUT THIS?????

(gay)uanghong: yeah we have remember

pikachit: omg wait what

assman: whats happening

geminut: are we dating or what phichit because we are stood here in the dairy aisle looking at our phones and people want to get through

pikachit: UHH

pikachit: UMMMM I GUESS SO

pikachit: IF YOU WANT??????????????????

geminut: okay then its settled

nutkiforov: THE BLOSSOMING OF A NEW RELATIONSHIP

assman: CUTE

RussianTiger: if ur all quite done can u get back so we can actually pack and leave 

RussianTiger: this trip has been a disaster i just wanna get back home and see my cat 

nutkiforov: I MISS MAKKACHIN :’(

pikachit: tbh me too i lov that curly boi

pikachit: a good boy

  
  


-

 

otabeka: ….is everyone okay

katsukidon: yeah i think everyones good now

otabeka: nice

otabeka: when are you guys coming home?

katsukidon: tonight

katsukidon: we decided to cut our trip short because of this mess

otabeka: understandable

otabeka: how are the delinquents

katsukidon: theyre alright omg

katsukidon: phichit is passed out rn on the bed , gh is showering

katsukidon: we r gettin all out stuff ready to leave

otabeka: nice nice

otabeka: well have a safe trip home okay??

katsukidon: thank u we will try :D <3

  
  


**_To: SKATESQUAD: IN LONDON_ **

 

katsukidon: wtf otabek is so nice

katsukidon: hes such a sweetheart im shook i wanna be better friends w him

RussianTiger: no

RussianTiger: my friend

RussianTiger: back off 

katsukidon: he can have 2 friends

RussianTiger: no

RussianTiger: just me

katsukidon: how do u, a mean child, become friends with him, a lovely angel?

RussianTiger: do u have a death wish u sly pig

katsukidon: tbh yeah

geminut: rt

Leo♫: rt

(gay)uanghong: rt

RussianTiger:...... r u all ok

(gay)uanghong: probably not

katsukidon: are u on ur phone in the SHOWER

(gay)uanghong: im holding it outside the curtain

katsukidon: DANGEROUS

(gay)uanghong: sorry mum

pikachit: hi im awake lol i had the weirdest fuckin dream omg

katsukidon: u were alseep for like 45 mins maximum

pikachit: u can dream in naps

pikachit: omg ok i fuckin dreamt that . seung gil got mad at me and hit me and then kisSED ME AND ASKED ME OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CO-OP FDJFSJ LMAO

pikachit: SEUNG GIL IK UR IN THIS CHAT SORRY FOR THE CREEPY DREAM

(gay)uanghong: phICHIT THST WASNT A DREAM IM

(gay)uanghong: IM CYRGJKFEKS

pikachit: WHAT

pikachit: I LIT JUST DREAMED IT

geminut: ...that wasnt a dream 

geminut: that happened

geminut: like an hour ago

pikachit: NO FUCKING WAY

katsukidon: YES FUCKING WAY 

geminut: check the main group chat if you dont believe me

pikachit: okAY ?

pikachit: ...DJFHSXJ HOLY SHIT OMGF OOPS

pikachit: I THOGUFHT THAT WAS A DREAM IM LAUGNF IM SORY

geminut: does that mean you change your mind?

Pikachit: NO NO OMFJG NO ITS CHILL DW I WLD STILL LIKE TO DATE U IF THATS ALRIGHT WITH YOU

Leo♫: so polite

pikachit: polite is my middle name

pikachit: phichit ‘polite’ chulanont

katsukidon: u kno whats not polite?

katsukidon: axe kicking some random white guy and stealing his boat

pikachit: YKNOW WHAT? DIE

pikachit: I DIDNT COME HERE TO BE ATTACKED OK I THOUGHT WE WERE OVER THIS

katsukidon: GDFHSGDSFH SORRY

pikachit: U BETTER BE

katsukidon: omg i just remembered the flask that cosplayer gave me

pikachit: driNK IT

katsukidon: nO IT COULD BE AUTHING

(gay)uanghong: DRINK IT

katsukidon: do u WANT ME TO DIE

pikachit: give it to me ill drink it

katsukidon: do YOU wanna die

pikachit: it smells sweet??????

(gay)uanghong: lick the rim of the flask

pikachit: lol rim

pikachit:..... it tastes like syrup

katsukidon: LIKE . MAPLE DYRUP??? ARE U KIDDING ME.

katsukidon: THE CANADIAN PERSON GAVE ME MAPLE SYRUP???

pikachit: ....can i drink this

Katsukidon: be my guest

(gay)uanghong: omfg

(gay)uanghong: WAIT OMG R U OK WHATS HAPPENING

katsukidon: HES CHOKING AND DYING

(gay)uanghong: WHAT LIKE ACTUALLY

katsukidon: NO 

katsukidon: HES TOO DUMB TO DIE 

(gay)uanghong: WHATS GOING ON

katsukidon: IDK HES COUGHING

katsukidon: GFHSHDS IM CRYIGN HE JUST COUGHED AND WHISPERED “theres fucking rum in this” 

(gay)uanghong: omG AMAZING

Katsukidon: ok now tht hes like, swished the bottle around u can definitely smell the alcohol jfc

katsukidon: @ LAURA COSPLAYER WHY DID U GIVE ME THIS I DONT UNDERSTAND

(gay)uanghong: free alcohol

katsukidon: i guess so

katsukidon: phichit is still dying

(gay)uanghong: good xoxoxoox

pikachit: i htae u both wtf

  
  


-

  
  


To: the nutshack

 

cyberEmil: yo if u were skating at like the grand prix and then all the ice melted and u fell into like the massive pool would that be fucked up or what

Thing1: that would be fucked up

Thing1: how would it all melt at once tho

cyberEmil: idk,,,, rly good heating in the place??

Thing2: why would they put heat on that high in an ice rink you idiot

cyberEmil: because they dont want people to be cold duh

Thing1: the water wld be so cold tho omg u wld prob die from like…...sudden temperature change

cyberEmil: o no

cyberEmil: i cant even swim

Thing1: i wldnt wanna get my outfits all ruined like excuse me these r expensive and pretty

cyberEmil: relatable tbh id probably be more sad about my outfit getting ruined than anything else

Thing2: than drowning in a pool of freezing water

Thing1: it wldnt be freezing if it was water and not ice

Thing2: shut up

Thing1: mickey so meannnnnn

liftqueen: leAVE her alone i must. protect the girlfriwnd

Thing1: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

cyberEmil: the token lesbeans r here 

Liftqueen: tht is us. Lesbeans

Thing1: lesbanims

cyberEmil: is same sex pair skating a thing yet bc u two shld do tht

cyberEmil: itd be great !!! sara has practice with tht  and mila u cld probably lift the empire state building with one hand so u cld easily throw her around

Thing1: pls dont throw me around

liftqueen: dont u trust me not to drop u??!?!?!

Thing1: no i just doNT WANNA BE THROWN AROUND THANKS

pikachit: GUESS WHOS HOOOOOOOOOME SLUTBAGSSSSSSS

Thing2: slutbags???

liftqueen: welcome back, criminal

pikachit: watch ur tone, u asked me to give u a tattoo and if u keep this up u wont be gettin one

cyberEmil: how was uR TRIP 

Pikachit: a mess

pikachit: but we r hOME and im so ready to go play some smash and go to bed

katsukidon: u slept the whole plane home

pikachit: im a sleepy boy what can i say

RussianTiger: how do you know if a cat is pregnant

liftqueen: yura this isnt google 

RussianTiger: no really

liftqueen: why would we know?????? This is a question for google

katsukidon: wait what is your cat pregnant

RussianTiger: idk?????????????? come 2 my room and help pls

pikachit: omG IF UR CAT HAS KITTENS IM GNA BE SO HAPPY

cyberEmil: i wanT A KITTEN

Thing1: SAME THEYRE SO CUTE I WANT TO BE BURRIED IN THEM

pikachit: DONT WE ALL

pikachit: YURI IF UR CAT IS PREGNANT CAN I HAVE A KITTEN

cyberEmil: im not allowed pets in my accomodation :((((

pikachit: thats actually so peak im sorry bro

cyberEmil: :(((( its a Lonely Life

gomentsukki: i want a kitten

pikachit: YAMA!!!!!!!

gomentsukki: PHICHIT!!!!!

cyberEmil: hi yama idk who you are but hello

Pikachit: everyoNE SHLD KNOW YAM BY NOW

pikachit: and tsukki

pikachit: they r some volleyball dweebs from the other side of town

cyberEmil: oH COOL HI

gomentsukki: henlo

gomentsukki: but for real can i have a kitten

pikachit: i want one too

Katsukidon: shes definitely pregnant alright

pikachit: AWESOME

liftqueen: CONGRATS 

RussianTiger: how the hell did this even happen??????????????????

katsukidon: maybe she got out and got knocked up by some stray???

pikachit: I WONDER WHAT THE BABIES WILL LOOK LIKE AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

gomentsukki: OMG IM GNA CRY I BET THEY WILL BE SO CUTE 

pikachit: have u ever seen yuris cat  yams???

gomentsukki: no why wld i have ever seen his cat

pikachit: yuri send us some cat pics 

RussianTiger: myangel.jpg

RussianTiger: afelinebeauty.jpg

gomentsukki: SHE IS BEAUTIFUL

RussianTiger: ikr i love  her

gomentsukki: she looks so SOFTTTTT

RussianTiger: SHE ISSSSS HE HAS THE NICEST FUR 

katsukidon: how do u look after a pregnant cat???????????????

cyberEmil: the same as a pregnant human????

katsukidon: …………

katsukidon: how do u look after a pregnant human?????

pikachit: i dont think cats and humans are the same

gomentsukki: dont cats have like a billion babies in them at once when humans usually only have one except sometimes its twins or smth

RussianTiger: they cant fit a billion in there 

RussianTiger: tho i wldnt mind a billion kittens

pikachit: tbh who wouldnt want a billion kittens

gomentsukki: tsukki is allergic to cats

pikachit: THATS SUCH A SAD LIFE

gomentsukki: IKR ITS PEAK

katsukidon: i cldnt deal being allergic to any animal tbh i wld end up dying bc i just wanna hug them all

pikachit: rt

gomentsukki: rt

Thing1: rt

RussianTiger: rt

cyberEmil: rt

Thing2: rt

katsukidon: yay im relatable

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> otabek is a good kid


	27. SKATESQUAD: THE RETURN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guess whos mcfucking back after 34839543 years

_ (to:  _ **_the nutshack_ ** _ ) _

 

pikachit: yo its been a while

katsukidon: what 

pikachit: it feels like we havent spoken in ages

katsukidon: what r u on we lit had a conversation an hour ago about how theres a weird amout of perry the platypus x dr doofenshmirtz fanfic online

(gay)uanghong: there IS a weird amount 

katsukidon: ya i dont rly get it

(gay)uanghong: eh idk,, i kinda get it

katsukidon: we arent going into this again

pikachit: IDK DUDES IT JUST FEELS LIKE ITS BEEN AGES YKNOW IDEK WHAT IT IS

pikachit: AM I LOSING MY MIND

pikachit: IT FEELS LIKE I HAVENT SPOKEN TO ANY OF U IN LIKE 7.5 MONTHS

katsukidon: specific

(gay)uanghong: idk man maybe all that incense u light in ur room is makin u high

katsukidon: can tht even happen

(gay)uanghong: i dont think so but dude have u ever been to his house its like a smoke dungeon im suprised he hasnt been evicted

pikachit: IT SMELLS NICE OK DIE

pikachit: ANYWAY

pikachit: I GOT SOME SHIT TO SAY

katsukidon: are u coming out

pikachit: DO I EVEN NEED TO COME OUT AT THIS POINT

katsukidon: fair 

assman: i heard coming out im here to say i accept u

assman: o its u ik ur gay

pikachit: ya u do ;)))

pikachit: ANYWAY

pikachit: I PROPOSE TO U ALL:

pikachit: WHAT IF WE ALL COLLECTIVELY MADE A FRIEND

katsukidon: what does that even mean

RussianTiger: ew friendship

pikachit: shut ur face little man we r all friends here

RussianTiger: when did i agree to this

katsukidon: when u decided to live in japan with us bc u, and i quote “would miss u all so much please yuuri let me stay with u ill be so sad in russia with gross yakov”

RussianTiger: i swear to god u fucking snake

RussianTiger: go die in a river 

katsukidon: we are f r i e n d s

assman: is this what friendship is bc i think i got the wrong memo

pikachit: GUYS IM TALKING

pikachit: i have a person we can be friends with

katsukidon: idk man ill pass

assman: YUURI I NEVER TOOK U FOR THE RUDE TYPE

katsukidon: i doNT WANA BE RUDE IM JUST NOT GREAT AT MAKING NEW FRIENDS

pikachit: HES NOT NEW WE KNOW HIM

katsukidon: ,,,,literally i dont know anyone other than this gc

pikachit: yes u do

katsukidon: ok fr

katsukidon: i cant think of anyone other than like

katsukidon: nishigori

katsukidon: and my dad

RussianTiger: georgi isnt here

pikachit: oh damn u right

pikachit: but that isnt who i was talking about

RussianTiger: good bc i dont think i cld handle seeing him cry in the gc every day

pikachit: who im TALKING ABOUT 

pikachit: IS

pikachit: ……. Anyone gonna guess

assman: give me a hint

pikachit: hes a skater

assman: me

pikachit: ur already here

assman: victor

pikachit: hes already here

assman: who else cld it be

assman: victor and i r the only skaters who matter

nutkiforov: you got that right lol

assman: ;*

nutkiforov: ;*

pikachit: HES A SKATER.

pikachit: AND HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND

(gay)uanghong: thats hetero

(gay)uanghong: is it georgi

RussianTiger: he already said its not him

RussianTiger: plus georgi cant keep a girlfriend for more than a week

nutkiforov: i almost feel bad for him about that to be honest

nutkiforov: but he never took my advice

pikachit: HE WAS IN THE GPF WITH US

(gay)uanghong: speak for urself

pikachit: soRRY bae

assman: u cant be talking about

assman: who i think ur talking about

pikachit: who do u think im talkin about

assman: ur KIDDING

pikachit: WHO DO U THINK

assman: is it

assman: omg

assman: is it katsuki yuuri

pikachit: god DAMN IT CHRIS

katsukidon: ???? IM RIGHT HERE?????

assman: lol ik

assman: id never forget u and tht ass

nutkiforov: lmao rIGHT itsa gd ass

assman: u did well my bro

katsukidon: again im right here

pikachit: I HATE U ALL

pikachit: FUCK YOU ILL JUST SAY WHAT I WANT 

pikachit: WE ARE GONNA BE FRIENDS WITH JJ

pikachit: NONE OF U HAVE ANY SAY IN THIS ITS HAPPENING DIE

RussianTiger: EW?????

RussianTiger: phichit why

pikachit: BECAUSE HES ACTUALLY RLY NICE OKAY AND I FEEL RLY BAD THAT WE HAVE THIS SKATER GROUP CHAT AND HES THE ONLY ONE LEFT OUT

katsukidon: georgi is left out too

pikachit: …..JJ IS THE ONLY ONE. LEFT OUT.

pikachit: ANYWAY IM ADDING HIM DONT BE MEAN OKAY IVE BEEN DMING HIM AND HE FEELS RLY BAD FOR HOW HE WAS ACTING AT THE GPF AND WANTS TO MAKE PEACE

RussianTiger: im gna vom

 

_ ( _ **_pikachit_ ** _ added  _ **_xXKINGJJXx_ ** _ to the conversation.) _

  
  


pikachit: welcome my dude!!!

katsukidon: hi there

xXKINGJJXx: Hello!

pikachit: i told everyone to be nice to u

xXKINGJJXx: Thank You Phichit!

pikachit: yw my dude

pikachit: also u can lay off the capitals, doesnt it take longer to type???

xXKINGJJXx: Yeah To Be Honest Its Annoying To Type, But Its My Aesthetic

assman: going through tht for the aesthetic

assman: i can respect that

katsukidon: ngl man reading it in my head makes it sound like ur emphasising every word

xXKINGJJXx: I Can See How That Would Work….Sorry

katsukidon: omg u dont gotta apologise  im js

RussianTiger: its fucking annoying

pikachit: dont be rude wtf

RussianTiger: have u literally ever met me

pikachit: dw jj we just gotta turn u into a meme

xXKINGJJXx: Okay?

pikachit: first u gotta change tht username im sry bro its so 2006

xXKINGJJXx: I Dont Know How

RussianTiger: hes a lost cause u cldnt meme jj if u had all the willpower in the world

(gay)uanghong: i dont wanna agree with such a peak statement but im agreeing

katsukidon: i hate that insults in 2017 is calling someone unmemeable 

pikachit: i can meme ANYTHING

pikachit: dont underestimate me

RussianTiger: i dont want him here tho 

pikachit: ik ur reasoning bro but hes a Changed Man

RussianTiger: i dont buy it

xXKINGJJXx: I Really Am Sorry, Yuri

xXKINGJJXx: I Know It May Seem Like Im Lying, But Im Not

xXKINGJJXx: I Said Insensitive Things To You At The Finals And I Now Realise That I Made A Mistake

xXKINGJJXx: I Also Want To Apologise To Everyone Else For My Actions 

xXKINGJJXx: I Was Arrogant And Rude, Im Really Sorry, I Hope You Can Forgive Me

katsukidon: i forgive u jj, tbh it wasnt entirely ur fault, i wanna apoligise for how we left u out from hanging out at the gpf 

katsukidon: we were rude too 

katsukidon: u didnt deserve tht, im sorry :( 

RussianTiger: ye whatever

katsukidon: r u accepting the apology or

RussianTiger: fine

RussianTiger: yeah

RussianTiger: thanks for apologising i guess

xXKINGJJXx: Its Okay! Im Just Glad We Arent On Bad Terms Anymore

RussianTiger: and, ,?im sorry for bein rude

RussianTiger: but u deserved it 

katsukidon: is tht even an apology

RussianTiger: im tryin here ok gimme a break

katsukidon: i know u r and im proud of u <33

RussianTiger: barf

pikachit: YAY ARE WE ALL HAPPY JOLLY FRIENDS NOW???

(gay)uanghong: ive never met u so i dont have any problems lol he seems chill

xXKINGJJXx: :D

assman: i never had any beef with u

assman: ngl i have ur short program music on my ipod

assman: its a fucking bop

katsukidon: i gotta agree with u there it is a pretty good song

xXKINGJJXx: Thank You So Much!!!!! :D

RussianTiger: isnt that the one thts called theme of king jj

RussianTiger: how self centered

katsukidon: hey my free skate music is called yuri on ice dont come at jj for self centeredness

RussianTiger: ur both self centered 

Leo ♫: whatd i miss broskis

(gay)uanghong: baBE

Pikachit: gay

pikachit: but u missed us maKING A NEW FRIEND

xXKINGJJXx: Hey!

Leo♫: sup dude

pikachit: leo meet jj leroy, jj meet leo de la iglesia 

Leo♫: ice to meet u

Leo♫: omg tht makes it sound like im makig a joke abt ice skating but it was jst a typo

xXKINGJJXx: Nice To Meet You!

(gay)uanghong: ur such a fuckin dork lol

Leo♫: say that to my FACE

katsukidon: get a room u two

(gay)uanghong: um yuuri do i have to bring up some of the old chat logs

katsukidon: die

pikachit: thats BULLYING 

katsukidon: u die too

pikachit: MAYBE I WILL

 

\--

 

RussianTiger: how do u know if ur cats in labor

(gay)uanghong: this isnt google

RussianTiger: shut ur mouth

katsukidon: shes kinda screaming

(gay)uanghong: tht doesnt sound like smth a cat Not going through labor wld do

chickennugget: IS POTYA HAVING BABIES

RussianTiger: thats what im tryna figure out

chickennugget: IM COMIGN OVER RIGHT NOW

chickennugget: I NEED TO WATCH MY CHILD GIVE BIRTH

chickennugget: I CANT BEOLIEVE IM GNA BER A GRANDPA BRB ILL BE THERE I A MIN

(gay)uanghong: r u married

RussianTiger: im gna slap u

katsukidon: theyre so lowkey married

 

katsukidon: minami called him honey the other day and i think yuri like. Spontaneously combusted

(gay)uanghong: thats so cute im sobbing blood

RussianTiger: I DID NOT

RussianTiger: HE DID NOT EITHER UR LYING

katsukidon: WLD I LIE

(gay)uanghong: i cant imagine little minami calling anyone honey

katsukidon: TBH IT WAS LOWKEY AWKWARD AND HE LIKE STUTTERED OVER IT AND DIDNT MEET HIS EYEs IT WAS REALLY CUTE I LOVE YOUNG LOVE

RussianTiger: MY CAT IS SCREAMIGN AND POTENTIALLY ABOUT TO BIRTH OFFSPRING AND UR TALKING ABOUT ME AND MINAMI

katsukidon: IM SORRY BUT ITS RLY CUTE

(gay)uanghong: i live for this

katsukidon: yuri accidentally called him by his given name the other day and minami like died

(gay)uanghong: OMG YURI 

RussianTiger: IN MY FUCKING DEFENCE IM RUSSIAN 

RussianTiger: WE CALL PEOPLE BY THEIR GIVEN NAMES ALL THE TIME IN EUROPE OK I FORGET THATS NOT ALWAYS A THING HERE

(gay)uanghong: okay okay i undRSTAND

(gay)uanghong: ITS STILL CUTE THO

RussianTiger: phichit calls him his given name tho so i wasnt rly thinking

pikachit: ya thts cos im the best and i can call ppl whatever i want

pikachit: plus hes like a little brother to me

RussianTiger: get out of my face

chickennugget: im outside let me in

RussianTiger: omw

(gay)uanghong: tht was fast jfc

chickennugget: tbh i was walking there anyway i was jst gna show up

RussianTiger: i change my mind ur not coming in

chickennugget: D: let me in

chickennugget: also its tru he called me kenjirou and i died irl

(gay)uanghong: omg 

RussianTiger: PLS IM TRYING MY BEST HERE IM SORRY IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

chickennugget: NO OMG I DONT MIND 

chickennugget: IT JUST CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD IS ALL AND U SAID IT SO CUTELY

(gay)uanghong: this is so sickly sweet im gonna get cavities

katsukidon: right thts what its like being in the same room as them

RussianTiger: STOP UR ALL EMBARRASSING

chickennugget: IM SORRYSFHDJ BUT HONESTLY U CAN CALL ME KENJIROU IF U WANT I DNT MIND

katsukidon: yuri.exe has stopped working honestly

chickennugget: omg cute

chickennugget: but pls let me in i wanna see my daughter give birth

RussianTiger: omw

pikachit: has ur cat given birth yet

RussianTiger: no

katsukidon: i dont like how shes crying its making me sad

katsukidon: its also making makkachin bark in the other room

katsukidon: this house is a hellfire rn

RussianTiger: wheres victor tell him to shut up his damn dog

katsukidon: hes out w chris 

pikachit: i wish i was out w chris

pikachit: he seems like he knows how to have fun

(gay)uanghong: ur in MY HOUSE

(gay)uanghong: AS WE SPEAK

(gay)uanghong: AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR U

pikachit: nope xoxoxo

(gay)uanghong: im gna put lighter fluid in ur tea

xXKINGJJXx: Is Yuri’s Cat Having Kittens?

RussianTiger: idk

katsukidon: im p sure shes having kittens like rn

RussianTiger: tbh im scared idk if i can handle looking after that many cats

xXKINGJJXx: Ill Take One!

katsukidon: thats actually a good idea

RussianTiger: but,,, i want them

katsukidon: u JUST SAID u wldnt be able to handle that many cats

RussianTiger: ya but ,,,..,.,,,, shhh 

katsukidon: im sorry but ur gonna have to give them away

RussianTiger: can we keep one

katsukidon: ya one shld be alright but i dont thik we can have a bunch

katsukidon: my parents wldnt be too happy

pikachit: i waNT ONE TOO

(gay)uanghong: SAME

katsukidon: if theres enough to go around then sure

RussianTiger: they arent cocktail sausages on a plate theyre LIVING BREATHING ANIMALS

pikachit: im gonna call mine cocktail sausage

RussianTiger: ur not allowed one anymore

(gay)uanghong: mines gna be called plinami love child

RussianTiger: ur not allowed one either

katsukidon: ur cat is named peter u cant talk

RussianTiger: SHES CALLED POTYA

katsukidon: shes basically called peter

xXKINGJJXx: I Will Call Mine Princess Since I Am The King Lol

RussianTiger: princess is an okay name if u take away the part where ur a king 

pikachit: so jj can call his princess but i cant call mine cocktail sausage

pikachit: thats not fAIR

RussianTiger: how is THAT UNFAIR WHO CALLS THEIR CAT COCKTAIL SAUSAGE

pikachit: UM ME BITCH

katsukidon: in college one of his hamsters was called apostrophe bc he wanted to remember how to spell it

pikachit: dont expose me

RussianTiger: why wld u ever need to spell apostrophe u can just use it ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

pikachit: dont JUDGE ME

pikachit: ARE U FORGETTIG THAT UR DOG WAS LITERALLY CALLED VICTOR

katsukidon: ,,, i feel,,. ATTACKED

katsukidon: u have the n e r v e

katsukidon: the AUDACITY

pikachit: u named ur dog victor and now victor is ur bitch hows that feel

RussianTiger: i hate that i laughed at that omg

katsukidon: i

Katsukidon: ok honestly 

katsukidon: my childhood dreams

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promised laura a jj redemption like 9 months ago and never delivered bc i didnt know how to bc jj never actually did anything wrong so heres this lol
> 
> this chapter sucks and isnt what a comeback chapter shld be like bUT ITS A CHAPTER AFTER ALMSOT 8 MONTHS WITHOUT ONE SO THIS IS WHAT UR GETTING LOL


	28. why wont this chapter work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER WONT UPLOAD IN ITS ENTIRETY IVE TRIED LIKE THREE TIMES HELP ME

_ (Private message:  _ **_assman_ ** _ ,  _ **_nutkiforov_ ** _ ) _

 

assman: babe

nutkiforov: hey

assman: lets do somethin

nutkiforov: im down 

nutkiforov: but what 

assman: uhhhhhhh

assman: i need new shoes meet me in town ???

nutkiforov: u got new shoes like last week

assman: ya but shut up i need more i saw some 

nutkiforov: ok fair

nutkiforov: i wanna try and find one of them lion mane things for dogs

nutkiforov: yuri told me itd be a waste of money but i think makka wld look great

nutkiforov: maybe ill get one for his cat too 

assman: cant tell if thats cute or hilarious

assman: ,,,,i want one for my cat

nutkiforov: GOOD

nutkiforov: ok ill see u in a bit lmao

 

-

  
  
  


_ To:  _ **_the nutshack_ **

 

katsukidon: kittens.jpg

pikachit: oh my god theyre SO CUTE 

pikachit: I WANT THEM ALL

katsukidon: honestly im so sad we cant keep them all

katsukidon: but having a dog and a cat AND five kittens isnt rly gna work when u live in an inn

pikachit: thats peak

pikachit: but u cld give them all to me ;)))

katsukidon: nO WE R KEEPING ONE

katsukidon: i didnt think id love cats this much

RussianTiger: theyre the superior race

pikachit: pls can i have one fr il pay u

RussianTiger: can i trust u with my precious children

pikachit: OFC U CAN I HAVE HAMSTERS IK HOW TO CARE FOR ANIMALS

RussianTiger: hamsters and cats require different care u fuck

pikachit: IM GREAT AT ANIMAL CARE OK I HAVE TRAINED MY HAMSTERS WELL THEY CAN DO THINGS NORMAL HAMSTERS CANT DO

pikachit: THEY CAN PRESS BUTTONS AND DO COMMANDS LIKE SIT AND ROLL OVER

RussianTiger: ...how

pikachit: IM AN ANIMAL MASTER

pikachit: ONE COULD CALL ME

pikachit: THE

pikachit: SUPER

pikachit: HIGHSCHOOL

katsukidon: thats enough

pikachit: LEVEL

pikachit: oh cmon u interrupted me

katsukidon: whos gonna have the other kittens tho

pikachit: g wanted one

RussianTiger: i trust him less than i trust u

pikachit: can i call mine cocktail sausage 

pikachit: p l e a s e

RussianTiger: no

katsukidon: can i name ours

RussianTiger: why r u saying ours like its all of ours um its my cat so theyre my kittens 

katsukidon:  :((( 

pikachit: THATS COLD YURIO

katsukidon: ya not cool yurio ://

RussianTiger: keep that up and im revoking kitten rights 

pikachit: lol sorry

pikachit: mines still gna be calkled cocktail sausage tho

RussianTiger: ur an embarrassment

katsukidon: im calling ours coleslaw

 

**_RussianTiger_ ** _ removed  _ **_katsukidon_ ** _ from the conversation. _

 

RussianTiger: no bringing back niche memes from months ago that everyones forgotten about

pikachit: yurios a savage

RussianTiger: watch it

 

**_pikachit_ ** _ added  _ **_katsukidon_ ** _ to the conversation. _

 

katsukidon: i apologise

RussianTiger: not good enough

assman: can i have a cat

RussianTiger: idk 

assman: i already have a cat hes my pride and joy

assman:  [ lookatmyson.jpg ](https://orig00.deviantart.net/ba59/f/2017/159/6/7/christophe_giacometti_and_his_cat_by_mikiwentthere-dbc0uod.png)

RussianTiger: thats mostly a picture of ur face

assman:  [ MYSON.jpg ](https://68.media.tumblr.com/dcea6231ec01c508148e6fac1f230657/tumblr_inline_oi74usXzNT1tzrop4_540.png)

RussianTiger: ok hes beautiful u can have one i trust u

assman: thank u <3

katsukidon: arent u out w victor

assman: ye we r in town

assman: he told me not to tell u he got a lion mane thing for makkachin but im a snake and cant keep anything to myself

assman: victor just smacked me

assman: “IT WAS MEANT TO BE A SURPRISE”

katsukidon: ok ik i said it was stupid but im actualy rly excited now omg

assman: he also got one for peter

RussianTiger: potya.

assman: same difference

assman: im getting one too for my delight

assman: hes gna be so excited to have a baby friend

katsukidon: have u., yknow,, asked ur boyfriend about getting a kitten

assman: he doesnrt have to kno

katsukidon: hES DEFINITELT GONNA KNOW???

assman: and hes gna thank me for it in the long run

assman: cats are for good people and he will get used to it

RussianTiger: are u me from the future

pikachit: chris that sentence is worded really weirdly

(gay)uanghong: everyone shut up about ur borig conversation and listen to me

(gay)uanghong: rick and morty is cancelled

katsukidon: what like really or

(gay)uanghong: no 

(gay)uanghong: but i wish it was

pikachit: its a gd show

(gay)uanghong: it IS a good show

(gay)uanghong: BUT ITS FANS R THE WORST

pikachit:  To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also Rick’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick & Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick’s existential catchphrase “Wubba Lubba Dub Dub,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon’s genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them.

 

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Rick & Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 

katsukidon: oh my GOD

katsukidon: I HATE THAT U HAVE THAT COPYPASTA MEME JUST LIKE. AT THE READY

assman: for a second there phichit i thought u were being for real but then realised its just that meme omg

assman: i was ready to drop u as a friend

Pikachit: IM SORRY

(gay)uanhgong: g uys

(gay)uanghong: actual grown adults CAMPED OUTSIDE MCDONALDS 

(gay)uanghong: for PACKETS OF SAUCE

(gay)uanghong: and THE POLICE HAD TO COME ESCORT THEM OFF THE PREMISES WHEN THEY RAN OUT OF THE SAUCE BC PEOPLE WERE GETTING SO MAD OMG

(gay)uanghong: yall this is 2017

katsukidon: for ,,, sezchuan sauce

katsukidon: do they not know u can ,, make it urself

pikachit: americans r fuckin wild

(gay)uanghong: honestly im lookin at people getting mad on twitter and its so funny

(gay)uanghong: also give me a kitten

katsukidon: theyre not old enough to leave their mama yet

(gay)uanghong: i wANT MY KITTEN NOW

katsukidon: patience

pikachit: what r u gonna call it

(gay)uanghong: hatsune miku

RussianTiger: no u r not

(gay)uanghong: WHY NOT

RussianTiger: bc thats a dumb name

(gay)uanghong: say that shit about my queen miku one more time

chickennugget: how do i join the yuris angels fanclub

pikachit: ,,, ur DATING yuri

chickennugget: im still his biggest fan

(gay)uanghong: i mean i guess u wld be by default

RussianTiger: minami what the fuck

chickennugget: hI YURI

chickennugget: i wanna join ur fanclub because i love u

RussianTiger: UHHHHH

chickennugget: ur fans r lowkey scary  but i want in on it

pikachit: omgfgfgf

RussianTiger: uHH 

RussianTiger: theyre ? scary pls dont join them

pikachit: minami have u ever considered tht this is gay

chickennugget: who do u think i AM

chickennugget: gay? Im?  Its. likely

pikachit: rt

assman: hey kids

assman: SELFIE.jpg

pikachit: yo is that a new scarf

assman: yea!  I wasnt sure orange wld suit me but irly like it

assman: ANYWAY WE SAW LEO AND JJ LOOK AT THE SELFIE

xXKINGJJXx: Yes!! We Look Cute Here Omg

katsukidon: ?????????

pikachit: since when did leo and jj know eachother

katsukidon: SINCE WHEN DID JJ LIVE IN JAPAN????

xXKINGJJXx: ??? I Have Lived Here For Three Months???

xXKINGJJXx: I Saw You At The Grocery Store Last Week????

pikachit: omgdhfgfhs

katsukidon: yo im so confused rn

chickennugget: i saw him like 5 times just out and about?

katsukidon: am i losing my mind

pikachit: what were u doing out omg

xXKINGJJXx: Me And Leo Went Out For Lunch Lol 

xXKINGJJXx: We Usually Do On Tuesdays

pikachit: WHAT

pikachit: LEO EXPLAIN

Leo ♫: ,,,,,,,,

pikachit: U WERE BESTIES WITH JJ ALL THIS TIME WTF

katsukidon: i feel so conflicted rn

Leo♫: IM SORRY???

pikachit: WHY DIDNT U SAY ANYTHING

Leo♫: U GUYS SEEMED TO NOT LIKE HIM I DIDNT WANNA SAY ANYTHIG???

katsukidon: what is life im living a lie

Leo♫: ITS NOT THAT WEIRD 

pikachit: sincE WHEN WERE U FRIENDS HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN

Leo♫: we used to be rinkmates in america ?!!? omgfg didnt u know tht

pikachit: WHAT

pikachit: U DIDNT SAY ANYTHIG WHEN WE ADDED HIM TO THE GC

Leo♫: whAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY

Leo♫: anyway me and jj r gonna go play pachinko now bYE

pikachit: DONT RUN AWAY U COWARD

pikachit: damn ,, when u think u know a guy

katsukidon: i cant believe jj has been living here three months and we didnt know

katsukidon: wheres he been skating???????

assman: ice castle

katsukidon: WHAT

katsukidon: HOW COMES IVE NEVER SEEN HIM

katsukidon: yo this is so hecked

pikachit: DOES THT MEAN HIS FIT FIANCE LIVES HERE TOO

assman: hell yeah she does

katsukidon: she is very pretty

xXKINGJJXx: I Know Right

xXKINGJJXx: Shes My Queen

(gay)uanghong: its gettin pretty hetero up in here

pikachit: SO UR NOT PLAYING PACHINKO  FUCK LEO

xXKINGJJXx: He Is Playing Im Just Here

xXKINGJJXx: And Im Offended You Would Call Me Hetero 

xXKINGJJXx: The Audacity.

(gay)uanghong: ur typing style fucks me up it makes it sound like ur actually mad

xXKINGJJXx: Omg No Im Not Mad

xXKINGJJXx: Me And Isabella Are Both Bi

pikachit: just when i thought we had found the token cishet

pikachit: im love this

(gay)uanghong: king jj and queen isabella, the bi royal family 

katsukidon: the only royal family i care about

xXKINGJJXx: <3

pikachit: shes so cool i wanna be her friend 

xXKINGJJXx: Shes A Hockey Player :D

pikachit: WOAH REALLY

pikachit: THATS PRETTY COOL

xXKINGJJXx: I Know !!!!!

katsukidon: jj ur so pure i love how u love isabella

assman: tbh this is how victor talks about u yuuri

assman: but less “pure” lmao if u catch my drift

katsukidon: oh my god

pikachit: tru omg he talks like u put the stars in the sky

xXKINGJJXx: Its Good To Love And Support Ur Partner

assman: well said my dude

katsukidon: jj has anyone told u that ur an actual ray of sunshine bc thats what u r

xXKINGJJXx: Yuuri!!! :’)))

assman: starting the jj protection squad

pikachit: leT ME JOIN HONESTLY 

xXKINGJJXx: You Guys Omgggg 

katsukidon: let me join too honestly its been like a day since we made up and im already like number 1 jj stan

katsukidon: i feel so bad abt being mean to u before omg im so sorry jj

xXKINGJJXx: Its Okay Omg Im Crying

pikachit: <3 <3 <3 <3

  
  
  


-

  
  


chickennugget: i wanna play lazer tag

chickennugget: have we done that yet

Chickennugget: is that smth weve done

chickennugget: do i need to get more original

katsukidon: we can play lazer tag twice

chickennugget: ,,,,, not , like this

katsukidon: what

katsukidon: thats ominous 

chickennugget: nvm shh

chickennugget: i wanna play lazer tag lets all go

katsukidon: when

chickennugget: rIGHT NOW

pikachit: HELL YEA LETS GO

xXKINGJJXx: Can I Come

chickennugget: of course 

nutkiforov: hello yes me too

(gay)uanghong: me and leo too 

pikachit: HELL YEA SQUAD OUTING im bringing seung gil

chickennugget: omg this sounds like a weird group date

chickennugget: OMG COUPLES VS COUPLES

chickennugget: YURI WHERE R U U GOTTA COME

RussianTiger: that sounds lame 

RussianTiger: also i have to look after the kittens

chickennugget: D: NOOOOO

RussianTiger: i have to im sorry

pikachit: this is heart breaking

nutkiforov: makka will look after them

RussiaTiger: die old man

Nutkiforov: :((

katsukidon: hey if u wanna come im sure mari wont mind keeping an eye on them for a couple hours

RussianTiger: it sounds lame didnt i say that already

pikachit: we can see through ur lies by now

katsukidon: honestly yuri im sure she wont mind dw theyll be fine

RussianTiger: only if ur sure ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, hhhh

(gay)uanghong: yuri is a protective dad confirmed

RussianTiger: theyre newborns theyre so small im worried to leave them alone okay let me be

katsukidon: dw dw theyll be okay w mari

RussianTiger: ok but if we come back and theyre even slightly hurt im killling u first ok 

Katsukidon: deal

chickennugget: YAY BIG GROUP DATE

chickennugget: THIS IS GONNA BE FUN GET READY TO BE ANNIHILATED

(gay)uanghong: UR ON MY DUDE UR GONNA GET REKT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please work


End file.
